Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Technical Difficulties

On Tuesday of last week, Daulton was sick. When he came in to work, he told me this. I let him go work on a puzzle in the Community Room. Five minutes later I heard him rush to the bathroom and was then treated to the sound of him vomiting for awhile.
Anna got sick at work on Wednesday, but she said she felt better after she puked. I know I often feel better after puking.
It has snowed a decent amount the past week. Schools were cancelled last Monday. Some were cancelled last Tuesday, and those that weren't had two-hour delays. Snow was cancelled again on Thursday, and if it weren't for finals, I'm sure it would have been cancelled on Friday as well. The kids at church definitely wanted the snow day on Friday. I know at least one of them was indignant that they didn't cancel school on Friday, and thus she went into school completely unprepared for the finals that awaited her.
I had to clear the sidewalks a few times.
Anna's Christmas presents arrived today.
Anna's friend Chelsey decided to have a Christmas concert/fundraiser thing that featured herself. She asked Anna to sing a couple of songs with her. It was Friday night. Anna and Chelsey actually sound very good together, but on her own, I'm tempted to hit Chelsey with a brick (it's impossible to make you understand what she does when she sings without you actually hearing her, so I won't even try). They sang Christmas songs. People were impressed (naturally).
On our way home, the window on the driver's side door got stuck half-way down. It stubbornly refused to shut. I ended up driving it out to Anna's parents so I could borrow their car while we left the Explorer in their garage.
Anna had to work Saturday until one, and at two, we had one last practice scheduled for the Christmas program. While Anna was at work, I went in search of fog machine liquid to use as an effect in the program. I figured my best bet was checking party stores. Google Maps told me there was a Party City in the outlets in Edinburgh, but it lied. I wasted quite awhile circling the building, making sure I hadn't missed it. By the time I realized Google maps had lied to me, I also realized I had an hour and a half to find fog liquid before I had to be back to pick up Anna from work. The next closest party stores were in Greenwood, which is a 40 minute drive. I floored it. Except, I was driving an thirty year old diesel BMW, and it had a horrible time trying to reach highway speed. When I reached Greenwood, I realized every person in Indiana and all of their out-of-state relatives were Christmas shopping, and the roads were insane. I finally made my way into Party City. I located the fog machines. I located the empty space above the fog machine liquid label. I looked at the clock and figured that if I headed back to Columbus at that moment, I would be on time to pick up Anna. I checked Google Maps, and it told me there was a USA Party Supply up the road a couple miles. I hopped in the car, cussed at traffic, and finally made it. Fortunately, they did have the liquid I needed. I floored it all the way back to Columbus, and I ended up getting Anna fifteen minutes late. She didn't kill me though, so that was good.
Cade kept doing jigs and yelling the songs during practice. He didn't know his lines, and he gave Anna a constant narration of his train-of-thought even while she was trying to have everyone act like it was the actually performance. We were terrified of what would happen on Sunday. (Remember, this is the same kid who threw a bell during a song at Easter)
Anna promised the kids pizza after play practice. Cade had been told by his father that he couldn't have any pizza since he was going to a party afterwards and shouldn't ruin his appetite. Anna knew this, so she didn't give Cade any pizza. Cade sat and cried. One of the other adults didn't know about the party and gave Cade some pizza. Cade was happy again. I felt bad when Cade wasn't eating pizza. I know I would have probably cried too when I was his age. Heck, I probably would have punched someone.
Sunday was the day of the program. To sum it up, everything we thought would go wrong didn't, and everything we were sure about went wrong, or I could shorten that to "technical difficulties." In the space between the first and the second songs, some of the kids were supposed to be changing while others continued to act. When the time for the second song came, I called the kids who had changed back onto the stage. During the song, I heard a noise behind me and turned to find three of the kids who were supposed to be out on stage singing telling me they hadn't realized they were supposed to be out there yet. I just had them sit still. The fog machine didn't work when the time came to use it (that was especially painful to me, considering my adventure to get the fog liquid). For one scene, we wanted to project a video depicting the manger scene. When the time came for that, I went to hit "Play" and realized someone had unplugged the projector. It took a couple minutes for the thing to heat up and be ready to play. Anna actually got to announce to the congregation that we were having technical difficulties. Perhaps the most annoying incident though was during out black-light hands performance (We had on white gloves, had the sanctuary dark, and made shapes with our hands in front of black-lights. I think it was pretty cool.) Partway through the song, the speakers started cutting in and out and crackling badly. We were using a stereo connected to the bigger sound system. Sometimes the sound would come out of the system, sometimes it would come out of half the system, sometimes it only came out of the smaller stereo speakers, and sometimes it even cut out completely. We still aren't sure what happened to cause it, but it was super distracting. The kids held it together though. Then when it was all said and done, we found out that the video camera we had purchased for the purpose of being able to record this program had quit shortly into the performance.
Technical difficulties.
Tebow didn't get killed on Sunday. I was wrong. Now they are saying he will start the last two games. At least the stands won't be empty.
I think the Broncos best bet is to trade their top five draft pick for some second round picks in the draft and build up their defense. Oh enver Broncos, you've taken the "D" out of Denver.
Sunday night was the family Christmas for Anna's mother's side. Anna's mother has something like 10 siblings (I'm really not sure), and there were at least thirty people at Anna's parent's house for this party. Anna and I tried to hide downstairs with her cousins, Scott and Rachel and play Wii. Unfortunately, Daulton showed up, along with a couple other midget relatives, so we had to pretend we would rather watch Christmas movies on TV in order to keep them from playing with the Wii. Even so, Daulton kept asking if he could play Wii.
Toward the end of the evening, everyone was forced together for a family picture. When it was done, Daulton kept saying that he wanted "a photo of that picture." He, honest to goodness, used that exact phrase multiple times. I told Anna and Rachel, I would like to make sure he does get a photo of that picture. I'll just make sure it's taken from far far away.
A little girl kept following Daulton around and calling him Justin Bieber. This was hilarious. But you know, if you put freckles on Justin Bieber and gave her darker hair, she might look an awful lot like Daulton. Poor Daulton, as a pre-pubescent boy, he looks like a pre-pubescent girl.
Yesterday morning, I took Anna to work and then picked up the Explorer and took it into the shop. The shop is a mile from our apartment, so I figured I'd just walk back after I dropped off the car, but when one of the employees at the shop saw me walking they hopped in a car and offered to drive me. When the car was finished though, I didn't have someone to take to get it, so I walked. This would be fine normally, except it turns out I had to walk the majority of the way through very dense snow that was beginning to crust over. I definitely rolled my ankle a little. And my shoes, which were finally starting to dry out from clearing all the snow last week, are still wet as I write this. But the window is no longer stuck.
Daulton's last day was today. It is now Christmas break of the kids. Maybe this time Daulton will stay out of trouble, and I won't ever have to see him again. Except I'll probably have to see him on Christmas day when we go to Anna's grandmother's (the nice one) Christmas party. And then of course, I'll have to see him next Christmas as well. That is providing he doesn't actually end up in jail by that time.
Now that I think about it, I think we do have some wrapping paper here. This means I can wrap Anna's present without having to worry about sneaking it over to her parent's without her seeing it.
People who read this blog: Jana
You all knew Jana read this blog, but this time she is doing it from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. This is exciting because it adds another country to those that have visited this blog. Have fun riding elephants and eating monkey brains, Jana.
Happy Kwanzaa, everyone.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Daulton Again

Daulton is 16. He still hasn't hit puberty. In fact, he still talks with that hard to understand little kid voice that most five year olds have. Sometimes I really do struggle to figure out what he's saying.
I was checking the mailbox last Tuesday before I opened up the office, and I glanced out into the parking lot. A small child was exiting a car. I was confused. Why wasn't this small child in school. This small child approached. Yeah, you know who it was.
I'm pretty sure the first thing out of Daulton's mouth was "Are you mad at me, Geoff? Are you mad at me for getting in trouble again? It wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything." But of course, it might also have been, "I murdered several people and have been trafficking drugs for the Mafia." I couldn't really say.
As near as I can tell, this is Daulton's explanation for how he ended up back with me (I can't be positive about all of this because I was serious about him talking like a five year old kid). According to Daulton, it all started at a party. Apparently Daulton is cool enough and mature enough to hang out at parties with people his age. But he promised me there were no drugs or alcohol at this party. So Daulton and the other party-goers were minding their own business when a couple of punks showed up with guns and such and crashed the party. Daulton, of course, ran for his life. These punks decided he was a good target, so they hit him with a car. This car then caused enough damage that Daulton was hospitalized and prescribed hydrocodone for his pain. When Daulton went back to school something (he won't tell me what, he says he doesn't remember) made him so angry that the hydrocodone interacted with his ADHD medication , and he passed out. (This is the part that is especially unclear to me) I think he implied that he did some crazy stuff before he passed out, but again, he says he doesn't remember. In any case, he claims he woke up in the hospital and was informed that he was kicked out of school again.
As for Macy, I hadn't seen her for a week prior to Daulton showing up. If I had to guess, I would say that she quit coming to school altogether, was officially dumped from the program, and is now spending a month in juvenile detention.
Anna's sick.
Church was snowed out last night. This cost us one of our last practices before the children's Christmas program. I think they'll be alright though. They've worked hard.
George and Katie receive "meals-on-wheels" dinners. There's a cycle of at least five different people who deliver these meals. One particular lady is always accompanied by a young man with obvious mental and physical issues. From the little contact I've had with him, I would guess he has the mental competency of a toddler. He can talk, but it's never more than a repeated "hi" like you would get from a friendly four year old. On Wednesday, they were here to deliver meals. After they left, Daulton tells me "Hey Geoff, that guy just called me an "n" word. I should have punched him in his face, shouldn't I?" I tried to tell Daulton that I doubted that guy said any such thing and that he was mentally challenged. Daulton insisted that he should still have punched the guy in the face. I tried to convince him that he just misunderstood the guy, but I don't think Daulton bought it.
An old friend of Anna's parents, who attends church with us, invited Anna, her parents, and me over for dinner on Friday night. I'm pretty sure it's a Christmas tradition that she and Anna's parents have dinner together, and now that we live in the area, Anna and I are involved in the tradition too. It was nice. She had some homemade jelly. I ate way too many biscuits.
It snowed a few inches yesterday. There really wasn't that much snow, but it drifted badly. I couldn't open the porch door to take Daisy outside.
Anna's supposed to work in the morning. I don't know if she's going to be well enough to go. Unfortunately, she's supposed to call in two hours in advance if she's going to miss work. Thus, I think she's going to wake up at 5 a.m. tomorrow to see how she feels. No one feels well at 5 a.m.
Someone take this box of Mike and Ike's away from me.
I bought Anna some pseudoephedrine yesterday. As I'm sure you know, you have to sell your soul to the devil to be able to purchase the stuff. It always makes me feel like a criminal when they ask to see my driver's license in order to buy something.
I'm not looking forward to the Broncos' rebuilding process. This isn't going to be pretty.
McDaniels took a team that hadn't gone worse than 7-9 (except for the year following Elway's retirement) since 1990 and turned it into one of the worst in the NFL. Right now, I contend that they are the worst team in the NFL. I think the Panthers would beat us like a redheaded step-child. We won't win another game this year. Poor Studesville. This isn't his fault. He never had a chance.
It is times like these when I am grateful that there is hope to be found in the Rockies.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I'm Conflicted

Jon, I dedicate this post to you. Your griping has given me the motivation to do this.
The Broncos just fired the best coach they ever had. I can't believe they would let a gem like McDaniels get away.
I fixed most of Thanksgiving dinner. I made the turkey. I made the dressing. I made the potatoes. I made the gravy. I made an asiago strata. No one dead. It was a minor miracle.
I was shooting to have everything ready to eat at 1 p.m. At 12:45 I was on schedule but then my phone rang. Bobbie had locked herself out. Anna and her mom volunteered to go let Bobbie in so I could finish the cooking. That was very kind of them. They will be sainted by the Catholic church for their goodness. I wanted to murder Bobbie. I am not kind. I might have throttled her if I had gone to let her in. Her carelessness delayed our Thanksgiving dinner by over half an hour. There is a special place in Hell for people who delay Thanksgiving dinner.
Anna had to work at 6 a.m. on one of the week days following Thanksgiving. At three that morning, the emergency pull cord alarm started going off. I bolted out of bed, threw some clothes on, grabbed my keys, and rushed into the hallway. In the hallway, I found Beulah standing outside of her apartment and the emergency light blinking over her door. So had she set her bed on fire? Had she just subdued a cat-burglar? Had her cable stopped working? No. She "heard" Katie fall out of bed (Beulah lives in the apartment next to Katie). Like heck she heard Katie fall out of bed. Beulah is nearly as deaf as Katie. Beulah can't hear it if you bang on her door. And of course, Katie can't hear it if you knock on her door. So there was no way of actually verifying that Katie was alright without entering her apartment at three in the morning to see if she was in bed or not. Apparently Beulah had been trying to knock on Katie's door, and obviously, the best thing to do when she didn't get a response was to pull her own emergency alarm to wake me up. So I stood there at three in the morning wondering how on earth to make Beulah go to bed and turn the stupid alarm off. I knew the Katie had her own emergency pull cord. I also knew that Katie wears a "help! I've fallen, and I can't get up" alarm around her neck. If she fell out of bed and couldn't get up, she'd be able to use those herself. If she fell out of bed and was dead, well, then she was dead. There was no reason for me to go into her apartment to check on her, even if Beulah thought she heard something. This was my solution: I walked outside, waited a second, came back in and informed Beulah that I could see nothing wrong through Katie's windows and told her to go to bed and shut off the freaking alarm.
I can't tell of all these people are getting crazier all at once or if I am just getting really sick of them.
Bobbie regularly just walks into other people's apartments.
The other day she was walking around the building for at least an hour, muttering about how she'd be ashamed to live in such filth (referring to Katie and George and Alice and who knows who else she thinks is filthy).
I quoted this on Facebook, but it's worth repeating. The other day, Bobbie came into the office and was talking to me about who knows what. In middle of the conversation, she announced that "Columbus wants to name that school over there (there's an elementary a block away) after me. I've worked my whole life. Dr. Shed says there's nothing wrong with my mind. I'm just stressed."
I keep listening to this new song "Waiting for the End" by Linkin Park, on repeat. I'm not a big Linkin Park fan, but this might be the best thing I've heard out of mainstream music in.....ever.
We keep practicing for the Christmas program. Sometimes I'm afraid Anna's head will explode from stress.
Gray.
I put up the Christmas tree the other day. Chief promptly made it look like poop. I'm not sure if it's even worth trying to put the ornaments back on it that he's torn off. Maybe if he knocks more than half of them off, I will put half of the ones he has knocked off back on. If I keep doing that, I can at least make sure there is always one ornament on the tree.
My ear itches.
The furnace for the common areas of the building is broken. It's rather chilly on the hallway.
I guess this is the point where I talk about what you really want to know. Just what is my reaction to the Donkeys firing McDummy (I know that's lame, but the better ones are also filled with expletives)?
There are pros and cons to this move. The biggest pro to me is that McDaniels can't do anymore personnel damage. He won't be able to jack up another draft, and he won't be able to trade away talent for people who will ride the bench. This also is a sign that the Denver ownership honestly does care that the Broncos club at least appears to have integrity. There's a reason the Patriots are thought of as an evil empire. This was one of my biggest reasons for not wanting McDaniels hired in the first place, and I am glad that it was a factor in his removal. This will also mean that McDaniels won't be poking around in the defense anymore. He took an above average defense last year and turned it epically bad by deciding the defensive coordinator was too competent (or something). Hopefully, this will also teach ownership a lesson and prevent them from giving the power of the general manager to the head coach.
There are other pros, but those are the major ones. Unfortunately there are also cons.
Instead of McDaniels getting a chance to prove himself in a third year, we are going to have to watch another coach rebuild the team that he decimated. Remember, McDaniels was supposed to be an instant success. The Broncos were supposed to be a playoff team last year. Except that instead of sticking with the team he was handed, McDaniels shipped out nearly 80% of that roster in the past two years. Now we have one of the worst teams in football, and it's much harder to bring in talent than it is to ship it out. And even when we do get the talent in, it is going to take time for it all to gel. Also, what happens to Tebow? What happens to Orton? What happens to Quinn? Is Tebow going to get a fair chance with another coach? But it's possible that they might just play Tebow to put butts in the seats. If that's the case, will Orton get shoved aside for someone who isn't ready to play?
The bottom line is that I am glad McDaniels is gone. I think that it's the right move. I don't care that the Broncos have to pay three coaches next year. I'm just not looking forward to the rebuilding process that the Broncos have coming.
I would like to point out something I said last year before the season even started. I wondered then, and I am almost certain now that McDaniels was just a plant by Belichick to destroy an opponent from the inside out. That seems to be the common thread to all the coaches that have emerged from his coaching tree.
So yeah, that's it.
Oh, and Daulton is back.