Last week apparently, the police pulled a dead body out of a shack across the street. Anna and I were on our way out to the car when we ran into Mike. He informed us of this. When we walked outside, sure enough, there were a bunch of cops surrounding a shack across the street with a bunch of onlookers. According to Mike, the person had been dead for several days.
Macy quit Restart on Wednesday. Don't worry. Her probation officer intervened, and she was back on Thursday. According to Macy, she just got sick of the whole school thing on Wednesday and decided the best course of action was to simply walk out of the program. I guess her probation officer managed to convince her that three hours at restart for another month and a half was better than juvenile detention for a month, with no chance to ever go back to school again.
We gave Daisy a bath the other day, but she stinks again.
I'm out of AriZona Pomegranate Green Tea again. No one has ever suffered more.
On Thursday, John came in to the office with a woman I hadn't seen before. She announced that she was his girlfriend and that she wanted to move in with him. I told her that I would have to contact my boss about it since I didn't know if non-relations could be added to a lease. She then spent fifteen minutes acting like it was up to me and repeating these phrases: "I'm a trustworthy person" "Me and John are in love" "I will always pay my rent on time" "We're going to get married." It didn't matter how many times I told her that it was not up to me. She wouldn't shut up. I assured her I would contact my boss right away, and I would tell her what my boss had to say about the situation. Finally, they left. Except, they came back again later that day. This time she wanted to know what exactly I said in my email to my boss. I told her. I was then treated to fifteen more minutes of her repeating the same phrases as before.
On Friday, I was treated to the same thing. It was worse though because I had to start explaining that I really had not heard from my boss yet, and that it really wasn't up to me. So she added another phrase to her repertoire: "I understand that." The problem with that phrase is that it was always followed by a "but." And I got to hear fifteen more minutes of about how she and John will get married and how she will pay her rent. Once she repeated herself enough, she decided she would also inform me that John had no hot water. I went with them to check. I turned on the kitchen sink. It was plenty hot. I had her feel it. She told me it was lukewarm. I turned on the shower. It was plenty hot. She told me it was lukewarm. She asked if I could turn up the water heater. I explained that there were only two water heaters for the whole building, and if I turned them up any higher, I'd risk the old people burning themselves. She looked at me like I was crazy. I just wanted to grab her head and scream "I'm sorry that you think the waters cold, but if I turn it up any higher, you will melt!"
Today, they did not come to the office, but I learned this was simply because they were not on the premises. I was loading dishes into the community dishwasher when they came in. You know what happened next. When she finally shut up, I went back to the apartment. Then comes a knock on the door. There she is again, laughing at my misery. Well maybe she wasn't laughing, but she was telling me that they had locked themselves out of John's bathroom. So I got to listen to her whole spiel while I manipulated the lock with a tiny screwdriver. This time I was treated to another new phrase: "we can't let this happen again."
Tonight, Anna and I pulled up to the apartment. As soon as we stepped out of the car, John opened up his door and tells me, "Don't worry about her anymore. We got into it over my kids. She was talking down about them, so I told her to get the Hell out." I assured him that I was sorry to hear that. But I couldn't help laughing a little as Anna and I walked away.
We held a Reformation Day party on Saturday for the church kids. We helped them carve pumpkins (which really meant that I ended up carving most of the pumpkins), we fed them lots of candy, and we went on a hayride. My butt may never be the same after that hayride. There wasn't room in the hay-cart, so Anna and I sat in the bed of the pickup. I couldn't feel my man-bits.
Yes, in case you were wondering, I have been doing some deer hunting. No, I haven't killed anything. I've passed up a few shots on does. I actually would have shot two of them, except there was an even bigger doe behind them, but she winded me before I got a shot at her. On Saturday morning, I did see a rather nice buck, but he chose not to actually walk by my stand.
I should shower.
My butt is still seriously sore.
Sky blue boxer-briefs with black and white horizontal stripes.
It's bedtime. Anna has to get up early to continue her national chain of bakery/cafe restaurants training.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
I would like to take this opportunity to point at that even when the Donkeys were 6-0 last year I never wavered in my hatred of Josh McDaniels.
So now we send London two of the worst teams in the NFL for their viewing pleasure.
You have no idea how depressed I am that the NBA season has started.
I honestly wonder if the only reason Josh McDaniels is still in Denver is because Jay Cutler has been so bad in Chicago.
And, as someone so astutely pointed out, why was Kyle Orton still playing in the second half of that game on Sunday? Did McDaniels have him on his fantasy team and needed the points?
Anna got a new job. She has been hired by a national cafe/bakery place that is opening a store in Columbus. She is currently doing her training in Greenwood while the construction is being finished on the new store here. According to Anna, every single one of the employees in Greenwood either has their degree or is working towards it. I think Anna likes the job. I'm going to enjoy the food.
Macy can't pronounce her 'L's. They come out as 'W's.
I'm hungry.
It stormed pretty violently this morning. I heard the tornado sirens going off several times. I was actually surprised that none of the old people were pounding on my door in terror. I guess they were too deaf to hear it. I debated whether or not I should tell them of a coming tornado if one actually seemed imminent. I don't think it would do any good. There isn't any basement to this place. There isn't a safer place to go. It would just scare them.
We're having a 'Reformation Day' party on Saturday night with the kids from church. We'll carve pumpkins. I'm going to make my pumpkin epically awesome. You will be jealous. By the way, it's not really a 'Reformation Day' party, but at this church, we can't call it a Halloween party either.
The hunger pangs are overpowering my will to continue writing.
Gray.
People who read this blog: No one. Ever.
I'm lying. I don't know why you silly people keep coming here, though.
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
I would like to take this opportunity to point at that even when the Donkeys were 6-0 last year I never wavered in my hatred of Josh McDaniels.
So now we send London two of the worst teams in the NFL for their viewing pleasure.
You have no idea how depressed I am that the NBA season has started.
I honestly wonder if the only reason Josh McDaniels is still in Denver is because Jay Cutler has been so bad in Chicago.
And, as someone so astutely pointed out, why was Kyle Orton still playing in the second half of that game on Sunday? Did McDaniels have him on his fantasy team and needed the points?
Anna got a new job. She has been hired by a national cafe/bakery place that is opening a store in Columbus. She is currently doing her training in Greenwood while the construction is being finished on the new store here. According to Anna, every single one of the employees in Greenwood either has their degree or is working towards it. I think Anna likes the job. I'm going to enjoy the food.
Macy can't pronounce her 'L's. They come out as 'W's.
I'm hungry.
It stormed pretty violently this morning. I heard the tornado sirens going off several times. I was actually surprised that none of the old people were pounding on my door in terror. I guess they were too deaf to hear it. I debated whether or not I should tell them of a coming tornado if one actually seemed imminent. I don't think it would do any good. There isn't any basement to this place. There isn't a safer place to go. It would just scare them.
We're having a 'Reformation Day' party on Saturday night with the kids from church. We'll carve pumpkins. I'm going to make my pumpkin epically awesome. You will be jealous. By the way, it's not really a 'Reformation Day' party, but at this church, we can't call it a Halloween party either.
The hunger pangs are overpowering my will to continue writing.
Gray.
People who read this blog: No one. Ever.
I'm lying. I don't know why you silly people keep coming here, though.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Not with a bang but a whimper
I feel bad for the exterminator. You need a hazmat suit (or at the very least, a gas mask) to enter George and Katie's apartments. When he was here on Wednesday, Katie's apartment was as bad as it has ever been. When she opened the door, I literally had to suppress a gag. I heard the exterminator take a huge breath behind me and then watched his face turn red as he held his breath while spraying Katie's apartment. You cannot understand how bad it is. George was in there with here, and they had obviously been smoking all day. It must have been 80 degrees in there, and the apartment looked like it was in a fog. Our exterminator deserves an award for valor or something.
The Broncos are awful. They make me cry.
Sunday's game is "Orange Sunday," which I suppose might help the fans at the game be more enthusiastic about watching their team flail around like a dying chimpanzee on hallucinogenic drugs. They play the Jets. The "experts" seem to be arguing whether the Jets, Ravens, or Steelers are the NFL's best team. I, however, am not sold on the Jets. I think they are a fluke. Therefore, I give the Broncos a small chance in this game, but this does not mean I think they will win. I'm going to go with a final of 27-20.
I should have posted a prediction for last weeks game. It would have looked awfully close to the final score.
Someone, please kill McDaniels.
I've seen a few deer so far this season. I've passed up three different does so far. They were all on the small side.
Anna is not so secretly delighted each time I come back and report that I have yet to shoot a deer.
I think Chief might have brain damage. He keeps looking at me with his left eye half closed.
Anna has gotten the chance to sub for several different music teachers. She always seems to enjoy it. Sadly though, she hasn't had any awesome stories about horrible children burning down the schools.
George now has a "representative payee" to control his money. He has to have this because all his money somehow ends up in the hands of hookers. He says they steal from him, and yet he lets them come back every month. I think he gives them the money and then won't admit to it. Regardless, he has been appointed a woman to keep his finances in order so that there is money to pay for food and rent. She is mad at me because I told her we couldn't set up an electronic transfer for George's rent.
Last Sunday was pastor appreciation Sunday. They gave us a bunch of candy and a gift card. I didn't realize they thought of us as pastors.
We're trying to write a Christmas program. We're going to have one of the little girls dress up as a young version of one of the guys in the congregation. This will mean full cowboy getup, and I am pushing for her to grow a full beard and a handlebar mustache as well.
I actually showered earlier, so I don't need to shower right now.
Gray.
Howie is rubbing up against my leg. He is plotting my demise.
Anna isn't feeling well tonight. I hope she isn't getting sick.
Anna found some videos on youtube with instructions for do-it-yourself silk-screening, and we are going to make shirts for the kids. We made a couple practice ones. They look pretty decent. We think the kids will like them.
Anna's aunt feel and broke her hip a week ago. She's only a couple years older than my parents. She seems too young to have broken a hip. I can't imagine my parents with broken hips.
Anna likes to point it out when she sees gray hairs in my beard or hair.
The inside of my right ear itches.
Hey guys, that reunion we had the other day was awesome. Jana, I can't believe you did that thing with Bob. I'm so glad we didn't invite Sara. She smells funny.
There were two ladies here the other day to see George. I think they might have been daytime hookers. They were asking him if he wanted to go to a Halloween party. They wanted to dress him up as a pimp.
We went to a high school football game on Friday night. One of the girls from church is in marching band, and we wanted to show our support. It happened to be Anna's alma mater, and we had to make every effort to avoid eye contact with anyone for fear that they would remember her and we'd be caught talking with them awkwardly for hours. On the plus side, the football team actually won which, as I understand it, is a minor miracle.
People who hate on Columbus Day should go die.
Anna came up with this really cool (and slightly creepy) sounding piano line, and she is currently recording it, so she doesn't forget it. Sometimes Howie likes to play along on the piano with her.
Anna is the most metal person I know.
Project 86 is releasing a live album this year. I think that's rather awesome. You should all buy it because you need to spend your money on music you won't like.
Speaking of music you won't like, you should all listen to Norma Jean's album "Meridional." I can't stop.
People who read this blog: Aussie's
Someone from Queensland, Australia found our blog by googling "Hoff's Adventures." I wonder if they were looking for David Hasselhoff. That's creepy. I despise my nickname.
The Broncos are awful. They make me cry.
Sunday's game is "Orange Sunday," which I suppose might help the fans at the game be more enthusiastic about watching their team flail around like a dying chimpanzee on hallucinogenic drugs. They play the Jets. The "experts" seem to be arguing whether the Jets, Ravens, or Steelers are the NFL's best team. I, however, am not sold on the Jets. I think they are a fluke. Therefore, I give the Broncos a small chance in this game, but this does not mean I think they will win. I'm going to go with a final of 27-20.
I should have posted a prediction for last weeks game. It would have looked awfully close to the final score.
Someone, please kill McDaniels.
I've seen a few deer so far this season. I've passed up three different does so far. They were all on the small side.
Anna is not so secretly delighted each time I come back and report that I have yet to shoot a deer.
I think Chief might have brain damage. He keeps looking at me with his left eye half closed.
Anna has gotten the chance to sub for several different music teachers. She always seems to enjoy it. Sadly though, she hasn't had any awesome stories about horrible children burning down the schools.
George now has a "representative payee" to control his money. He has to have this because all his money somehow ends up in the hands of hookers. He says they steal from him, and yet he lets them come back every month. I think he gives them the money and then won't admit to it. Regardless, he has been appointed a woman to keep his finances in order so that there is money to pay for food and rent. She is mad at me because I told her we couldn't set up an electronic transfer for George's rent.
Last Sunday was pastor appreciation Sunday. They gave us a bunch of candy and a gift card. I didn't realize they thought of us as pastors.
We're trying to write a Christmas program. We're going to have one of the little girls dress up as a young version of one of the guys in the congregation. This will mean full cowboy getup, and I am pushing for her to grow a full beard and a handlebar mustache as well.
I actually showered earlier, so I don't need to shower right now.
Gray.
Howie is rubbing up against my leg. He is plotting my demise.
Anna isn't feeling well tonight. I hope she isn't getting sick.
Anna found some videos on youtube with instructions for do-it-yourself silk-screening, and we are going to make shirts for the kids. We made a couple practice ones. They look pretty decent. We think the kids will like them.
Anna's aunt feel and broke her hip a week ago. She's only a couple years older than my parents. She seems too young to have broken a hip. I can't imagine my parents with broken hips.
Anna likes to point it out when she sees gray hairs in my beard or hair.
The inside of my right ear itches.
Hey guys, that reunion we had the other day was awesome. Jana, I can't believe you did that thing with Bob. I'm so glad we didn't invite Sara. She smells funny.
There were two ladies here the other day to see George. I think they might have been daytime hookers. They were asking him if he wanted to go to a Halloween party. They wanted to dress him up as a pimp.
We went to a high school football game on Friday night. One of the girls from church is in marching band, and we wanted to show our support. It happened to be Anna's alma mater, and we had to make every effort to avoid eye contact with anyone for fear that they would remember her and we'd be caught talking with them awkwardly for hours. On the plus side, the football team actually won which, as I understand it, is a minor miracle.
People who hate on Columbus Day should go die.
Anna came up with this really cool (and slightly creepy) sounding piano line, and she is currently recording it, so she doesn't forget it. Sometimes Howie likes to play along on the piano with her.
Anna is the most metal person I know.
Project 86 is releasing a live album this year. I think that's rather awesome. You should all buy it because you need to spend your money on music you won't like.
Speaking of music you won't like, you should all listen to Norma Jean's album "Meridional." I can't stop.
People who read this blog: Aussie's
Someone from Queensland, Australia found our blog by googling "Hoff's Adventures." I wonder if they were looking for David Hasselhoff. That's creepy. I despise my nickname.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
DuhduhduhDEER Season
I mentioned in my last post that I didn't really expect Macy to return (I said this on Tuesday). Well guess what, she was there on Wednesday. She walked in with a lady I didn't recognize, and Macy introduced her to me as her sister. The lady clarified for me that she is Macy's "sister" from Big Brother/Big Sister. She will be having lunch with Macy every Wednesday and walking her over to the apartments after. I now expect that I'll have Macy approximately once a week, on Wednesdays.
Marilyn called me yesterday morning to tell me that I needed to get a repairman for one of the washing machines. She said it was full off suds after she tried to wash her cat bed. I checked on it, and it was indeed full of suds. I figured the best thing to do was to try to wash something else in it to see what happened, so I stuck a dirty blanket in it. It worked just fine. Marilyn must have just gone crazy with her laundry detergent.
Deer season opened yesterday. I saw seven, five does and two bucks. I didn't have a shot at any of them. I didn't see any this morning, but a front was coming in and that often means the deer don't move.
The Rockies have thoroughly demonstrated how much they hate Ubaldo Jimenez. In what could have been the final bright spot in a very disappointing season, they flushed his eight scoreless innings of work today down the drain and said, "we don't want you to win 20 games this year."
I still can't get enough of Norma Jeans' new album "Meridional." It's definitely their best album, and it's the best album I've heard in awhile, period.
Anna wants me to come up with a memory verse for the kids for tomorrow. I'm thinking that Leviticus 11:19, Deuteronomy 25:11-12, or Genesis 38:9-10 would be good options.
I should shower tonight.
Now that it is fall, the beard is making its epic return. My chin is awfully itchy.
Marilyn told me her screen door wasn't closing fast enough. I checked it. It closed fine. She wanted me to fix it. I replaced the hydraulic closer on the door. It closed the exact same way as the old one.
My Bejeweled Blitz score is pretty epic this week. Sara, make sure that Kevin understands that, though he might get the occasional decent score, he will never be as awesome as Anna or I are.
I think Bejeweled Blitz will give me carpal tunnel syndrome.
I'm getting thirsty.
Camouflage Taz.
There's nothing like a technical death metal rendition of "How Great Thou Art" to brighten your evening.
The Donkeys play the Titans on Sunday, in Nashville. If the Donkeys were at home I would give them the edge. If the game was at 4 o'clock, I would give them the edge. But historically western teams do not do well in 1 o'clock games. I honestly think that it's a matter of bio-rhythms. Therefore, I'm going to say that the Donkeys lose 20-17. I don't think they get stomped on. I think they can keep Chris Johnson from doing enough damage to turn it into the blowout some experts are predicting, but there is no way they can get it in the end zone enough against the Titans' defense.
People who read this blog: a Marshall Islander
I have no idea how they found our blog. There wasn't any evidence of them googling anything. They just appeared out of nowhere. Creepy.
Marilyn called me yesterday morning to tell me that I needed to get a repairman for one of the washing machines. She said it was full off suds after she tried to wash her cat bed. I checked on it, and it was indeed full of suds. I figured the best thing to do was to try to wash something else in it to see what happened, so I stuck a dirty blanket in it. It worked just fine. Marilyn must have just gone crazy with her laundry detergent.
Deer season opened yesterday. I saw seven, five does and two bucks. I didn't have a shot at any of them. I didn't see any this morning, but a front was coming in and that often means the deer don't move.
The Rockies have thoroughly demonstrated how much they hate Ubaldo Jimenez. In what could have been the final bright spot in a very disappointing season, they flushed his eight scoreless innings of work today down the drain and said, "we don't want you to win 20 games this year."
I still can't get enough of Norma Jeans' new album "Meridional." It's definitely their best album, and it's the best album I've heard in awhile, period.
Anna wants me to come up with a memory verse for the kids for tomorrow. I'm thinking that Leviticus 11:19, Deuteronomy 25:11-12, or Genesis 38:9-10 would be good options.
I should shower tonight.
Now that it is fall, the beard is making its epic return. My chin is awfully itchy.
Marilyn told me her screen door wasn't closing fast enough. I checked it. It closed fine. She wanted me to fix it. I replaced the hydraulic closer on the door. It closed the exact same way as the old one.
My Bejeweled Blitz score is pretty epic this week. Sara, make sure that Kevin understands that, though he might get the occasional decent score, he will never be as awesome as Anna or I are.
I think Bejeweled Blitz will give me carpal tunnel syndrome.
I'm getting thirsty.
Camouflage Taz.
There's nothing like a technical death metal rendition of "How Great Thou Art" to brighten your evening.
The Donkeys play the Titans on Sunday, in Nashville. If the Donkeys were at home I would give them the edge. If the game was at 4 o'clock, I would give them the edge. But historically western teams do not do well in 1 o'clock games. I honestly think that it's a matter of bio-rhythms. Therefore, I'm going to say that the Donkeys lose 20-17. I don't think they get stomped on. I think they can keep Chris Johnson from doing enough damage to turn it into the blowout some experts are predicting, but there is no way they can get it in the end zone enough against the Titans' defense.
People who read this blog: a Marshall Islander
I have no idea how they found our blog. There wasn't any evidence of them googling anything. They just appeared out of nowhere. Creepy.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Please don't drool on our food
!@#$
We now return to your regularly scheduled blog wishing that Josh McDaniels would die and leave us in peace.
It's a depressing time for Colorado sports fans.
I removed a wash cloth from James' garbage disposal today.
In theory, I am supposed to have a new slave. Her name is Macy. I say "in theory" because she has officially been my slave for two weeks, but I have only seen her three times. In fact, I haven't seen her since last Tuesday. This doesn't particularly surprise me, and I actually kind of expected it. Why? She told me on her first day that she was kicked out of school for truancy and had skipped over 130 days of school last year. When I asked her how she felt about getting kicked out of the Restart program, she didn't seem at all phased. She actually told me she was weighing whether or not it was worth the 30 days in juvenile detention she would get if she just quit coming. I figure that's probably where she is now.
Anna's father took off Friday and Monday, so that he could spend a four day weekend riding horses with Anna's mother. They stayed at the Horseman Campground in the Brown County State Park. Anna and I went up to see them a few times while they were there. We sat around the fire and watched Poopface roll around in the dirt.
Our friend Jennifer, who I am sure I have mentioned in this blog before, got married while she was doing her Army training in Hawaii. She and her husband just finished up their training, and they came to visit Indiana for a bit before they have to report to Fort Carson, in the Springs, for their first assignment. Anna and I spent a good deal of time with her and her husband, Bobby, while they were here. Jennifer brought Anna a ukulele from Hawaii. When Anna got it, she conveniently neglected to mention to Jennifer that she already had two ukuleles. The one from Hawaii has a shark on it though, so that's pretty cool.
I've had a headache much of the day today. I am currently trying to cure it by blasting metal through my headphones. I think it's working.
You have no idea how depressed I am about certain professional sports related teams.
On the positive side, deer season starts Friday. I need to go site my bow in for broadheads tomorrow.
Anna was giving Dani and Lexy piano lessons on Friday, and Lexy nearly chopped off her finger. I felt very bad about this and very embarrassed when Lexy told her mom. Fortunately, I am exaggerating the extent of the damage, and it looks like Lexy will be able to keep her finger.
A couple Sundays ago, the church celebrated what they call "Homecoming." Lots of old people showed up, after church there was a big meal, and after that several people sang some songs and played some music. Anna was asked to sing a few songs. She did wonderful, as always. Anna's grandma was asked to play the piano. Two other people were asked to play and sing. I wanted to punch everyone but Anna. I wanted to punch Anna's grandmother because of who she is. I wanted to punch the other two people because they were obviously performing just to show off and not because they felt any need to honor God or anything so insignificant as that.
Anna had a half day of substituting on Thursday, and when she came back, we ate lunch together in my office. We though Blizzards sounded good, so we picked up some DQ to eat. While we were eating lunch George walks right into the office without saying a word and starts digging through our food. He was leaning right over top of our Blizzards, so I quickly slid them away from him for fear of drool. He dug through our food for a little bit and then muttered something which I took to mean "Hast thou stolen from me mine Meals on Wheels repast?" I assured him that we had not taken his Meals on Wheels, and in fact, I told him that I had heard from the Meals on Wheels people that he wasn't getting them anymore. He shrugged and left.
I don't have much else to say.
Sky blue boxer-briefs with black horizontal stripes.
People who read this blog: Perverts
I just want you to know that people are still finding this blog by googling that whole GGW in North Vernon event.
We now return to your regularly scheduled blog wishing that Josh McDaniels would die and leave us in peace.
It's a depressing time for Colorado sports fans.
I removed a wash cloth from James' garbage disposal today.
In theory, I am supposed to have a new slave. Her name is Macy. I say "in theory" because she has officially been my slave for two weeks, but I have only seen her three times. In fact, I haven't seen her since last Tuesday. This doesn't particularly surprise me, and I actually kind of expected it. Why? She told me on her first day that she was kicked out of school for truancy and had skipped over 130 days of school last year. When I asked her how she felt about getting kicked out of the Restart program, she didn't seem at all phased. She actually told me she was weighing whether or not it was worth the 30 days in juvenile detention she would get if she just quit coming. I figure that's probably where she is now.
Anna's father took off Friday and Monday, so that he could spend a four day weekend riding horses with Anna's mother. They stayed at the Horseman Campground in the Brown County State Park. Anna and I went up to see them a few times while they were there. We sat around the fire and watched Poopface roll around in the dirt.
Our friend Jennifer, who I am sure I have mentioned in this blog before, got married while she was doing her Army training in Hawaii. She and her husband just finished up their training, and they came to visit Indiana for a bit before they have to report to Fort Carson, in the Springs, for their first assignment. Anna and I spent a good deal of time with her and her husband, Bobby, while they were here. Jennifer brought Anna a ukulele from Hawaii. When Anna got it, she conveniently neglected to mention to Jennifer that she already had two ukuleles. The one from Hawaii has a shark on it though, so that's pretty cool.
I've had a headache much of the day today. I am currently trying to cure it by blasting metal through my headphones. I think it's working.
You have no idea how depressed I am about certain professional sports related teams.
On the positive side, deer season starts Friday. I need to go site my bow in for broadheads tomorrow.
Anna was giving Dani and Lexy piano lessons on Friday, and Lexy nearly chopped off her finger. I felt very bad about this and very embarrassed when Lexy told her mom. Fortunately, I am exaggerating the extent of the damage, and it looks like Lexy will be able to keep her finger.
A couple Sundays ago, the church celebrated what they call "Homecoming." Lots of old people showed up, after church there was a big meal, and after that several people sang some songs and played some music. Anna was asked to sing a few songs. She did wonderful, as always. Anna's grandma was asked to play the piano. Two other people were asked to play and sing. I wanted to punch everyone but Anna. I wanted to punch Anna's grandmother because of who she is. I wanted to punch the other two people because they were obviously performing just to show off and not because they felt any need to honor God or anything so insignificant as that.
Anna had a half day of substituting on Thursday, and when she came back, we ate lunch together in my office. We though Blizzards sounded good, so we picked up some DQ to eat. While we were eating lunch George walks right into the office without saying a word and starts digging through our food. He was leaning right over top of our Blizzards, so I quickly slid them away from him for fear of drool. He dug through our food for a little bit and then muttered something which I took to mean "Hast thou stolen from me mine Meals on Wheels repast?" I assured him that we had not taken his Meals on Wheels, and in fact, I told him that I had heard from the Meals on Wheels people that he wasn't getting them anymore. He shrugged and left.
I don't have much else to say.
Sky blue boxer-briefs with black horizontal stripes.
People who read this blog: Perverts
I just want you to know that people are still finding this blog by googling that whole GGW in North Vernon event.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Keep your pants on, and turn around
We went to Colorado.
The day we left Bobbie told me that someone was 'like to die' while I was gone.
We rented a car. It was a Kia Soul. I think Anna wants one now.
We drove to the far side of Missouri the first night and stayed in a hotel just outside of Kansas City. The next day we drove from Kansas City to Colorado Springs.
We got in to the Springs at about eight that night. My mom set up an air mattress in my sister's room (my sister having taken her bed with her to college). It was actually the nicest air mattress I've been on. The first couple nights we thought it was leaking because we had to fill it up every few hours to keep it comfortable, but I think, since it was the first time it had been used, it was just stretching out. It got better the longer we were there.
We arrived on a Saturday. On Sunday my parent's church celebrated its fiftieth anniversary. They had five of the ten pastors in the church's history at the service, and they all took part in some form or another. There was a lunch afterwards, but I was sad to discover it wasn't a potluck because I wanted to show Anna how a Colorado potluck doesn't have all the yellow food you find in an Indiana pitch-in.
I was blown away when I discovered all the high schoolers in the church were the ones I still picture as little kids from my days in Colorado. I was also rather surprised how many people didn't seem to recognize me either.
On Monday, Anna and I met Heather in Castle Rock for coffee. It was a good time. It was awesome to have a chance to get Heather to ourselves for a bit before all the wedding craziness happened. She was surprisingly relaxed for a bride-to-be during the week of her wedding.
My parents took Anna and me out for dinner on Monday night. They chose Carrabba's. I had never been there before. It seemed overpriced. Anna went for the cheapest thing on the menu: grilled chicken. It was $11, and it was the smallest chicken breast I've ever seen.
Tuesday night, we were invited to have dinner with Greg and Bri and Greg's parents. We got to meet Greg and Bri's two kids: Amos and Jaela. They are cute. They made me laugh a lot. Jaela never stopped smiling. We had a great time just sitting and talking to Greg for awhile. But it was absolutely shocking to watch a little kid run up to him and call him 'Daddy'.
On Wednesday, Anna and I drove up to Greeley to see my sister. She's contemplating getting married to a hobbit. I asked her if he has hairy feet. She said that I had better not make fun of his height to his face, or he will hate me forever. I don't think I could make fun of his height to his face without straining my back from bending over so far.
While we were in Colorado, I discovered that the Rockies had a make-up game against the Phillies on Thursday. I also knew that all of our friends would be getting in to Denver that night. I thought to myself, "self, we should go see the Rockies play the Phillies and then we'll already be up there to meet up with our friends." So we did. Except the Rockies decided to rain on my parade, and they blew a four run lead. I was very sad. I might have hit the seat in front of me a few times. But we had our friends to see.
We all had a suite together in a hotel in Denver. I was expecting two rooms of four beds, but it was actually like a small two bedroom apartment with three beds total. Anna and I got to be the 'parents' and got to stay on our own in one room while the others divided up the two beds in the other bedroom. Oddly enough, somehow that translated into Jana sleeping on the fold-out bed in the couch.
The best thing about seeing Janna, Sara, Bob, and Jon again was that it wasn't weird at all. It was just awesome.
That first night we sat around and played 'The Game of Things' for awhile. While we played, I think Sara was slowly losing her mind out of exhaustion, and Jana kept making fun of the rest of us who were used to the Eastern Time Zone. I don't know how we didn't get kicked out of the hotel. Sara was as loud as I've ever heard her.
Friday morning, Heather had us all meet at a local breakfast place called Snooze. It must have been a pretty neat place because we saw a guy from the Food Network there. I had pancakes. They were very good. The place was kind of cool. We spotted a waitress with a tattoo of Michigan with a star over what could have been the Holland area. She even looked Dutch. We figured it would be rude to ask since she wasn't actually our waitress.
After breakfast with Heather, those of us not actually getting married the next day went down to the Garden of the Gods. Jon and Bob broke the rules and climbed on the rocks. There was a couple getting their wedding pictures taken. We're probably in half of them. Ranger Jon explained all the geologic formations to us.
After we were done at the Garden of the Gods, we got dinner at Chick-fil-a so that Jon could experience it for the first time. I never did get his reaction. Jon, please comment with your reaction to your first Chick-fil-a experience.
That night, Heather and Jordan came over to our suite and played the game of things with us. I guess we were their bachelor and bachelorette parties all in one.
The wedding wasn't until five on Saturday so we drove over to Red Rocks. Though I've lived much of my life in Colorado, I had never been to Red Rocks. I must say that after seeing it, I'm disappointed that there was never a concert there I was interested in seeing. It would be awesome.
We went to Hammond's Candies to see their free factory tour. It wasn't terrible. It wasn't great. It would have been much better if they were actually making candy while we were there. I guess we got in too late because they were pretty much done with their daily candy making. From there, we went back to the hotel to change for the wedding.
The wedding was at a 'tennis pavilion', except I didn't see anything related to tennis anywhere. I'm still not sure where we were or what the building was that we were behind, but it seemed to be part of this big estate in the middle of Denver. The ceremony itself was held in a relatively small area with lots of grass and brick work and vines, and it was lovely. But that was only a small part of a much larger garden area full of walkways and flowers and trees. It really was a wonderful place for a wedding.
The reception included a dinner complete with genuine barbeque (smoked) beef brisket. It was awesome. Therefore, Heather, I give your reception two thumbs up.
There was dancing. I didn't dance. I would have slow danced with Anna, but there weren't too many slow dancing songs. We stayed around for several hours chatting and hanging out. Heather and Jordan did a good job of trying to see everyone who had come to the wedding. It was nice to be able to get to give her a proper goodbye before we all went our separate ways.
On Sunday, we decided to walk around the 16th Street Mall for awhile before Jana had to go to the airport for her flight back to California. After we had walked up and down the mall for awhile, Anna and I took Jana to the airport while Jon tagged along. The rest of our friends went on a tour of Coors (the brewery, not the ballpark). We had a nice civil discussion about immigration law while we took Jana to the airport. It was sad getting to the airport. We didn't want to say good bye to our hipster commie friend.
Anna wanted a ukuleles. So after we got rid of that dirty communist, we went in search of a music shop that sold ukuleles. We found one. Anna found herself a new ukulele. She was happy.
We spent much of our hang out time in the company of Ben and Sarah, who are friends of our friends from Calvin. Anna and I hardly knew them at all, but because of their friendship with our friends, they accompanied us on most of our adventures. Sarah had a couple friends who lived in Colorado Springs. So on Sunday night, she arranged to meet them for dinner. Anna, Jon, and I all drove down to the Springs to meet up with everyone else for dinner. I felt bad for Jon the whole time. He ended up stuck at the end of the table looking very lonely with Sarah and her two friends. Anna and I were on the other end with Bob and Sara. We weren't lonely. We were just amused that Sara still felt drunk from the brewery tour.
We went to a Rockies game on Monday. That was awesome. Tulowitzki hit a long home run, and the Rockies actually won. Ubaldo Jimenez was the starting pitcher, and we got to see him get his team record setting 18th win. We all got very sunburned. Poor Sara is probably still feeling it in her knees. Frankly, I'm surprised I haven't developed skin cancer on my ankle yet.
That night, we decided to just order pizza and hang out in the suite. We ordered carryout from Domino's. We used online ordering. The website even told us the name of the person making our pizza. I can't remember what the name was for sure. It might have been Jenny. Jon and I went to pick it up. We gave "Jenny" about twenty minutes to make our pizza before we went. When we showed up, we discovered that "Jenny" was the only one working and that she was frazzled out of her mind. Our pizza ended up taking twice as long as it should have, but we got a free two liter of Coke out of it.
Jon's flight was Monday night. Sara and Bob took him to the airport. It was sad to see him go as well.
Sara and Bob left before we did on Tuesday morning to make their flights. We said a sad farewell.
Anna and I were the last to leave. My mom ended up actually wanting to meet one more time before we hit the road. So we met for breakfast at a little place called Le Peep. We then said goodbye to her and hit the road.
We drove from Denver to just outside of Kansas City on Tuesday. The bathroom in our motel smelled faintly of pee, and we were awoken in the morning by someone opening and then closing our door.
All the residents have my cell number in case of an emergency. We were about two hours from Columbus when my phone started ringing. I answered. It was Beulah. Beulah wanted me to know that her porch light was out. Apparently that constitutes an emergency. I was just grateful I didn't get any ridiculous calls while I was actually in Colorado.
We arrived back here on Wednesday night. The apartment hadn't burned down. No residents had died. I think it turned out to be a very successful trip.
The day we left Bobbie told me that someone was 'like to die' while I was gone.
We rented a car. It was a Kia Soul. I think Anna wants one now.
We drove to the far side of Missouri the first night and stayed in a hotel just outside of Kansas City. The next day we drove from Kansas City to Colorado Springs.
We got in to the Springs at about eight that night. My mom set up an air mattress in my sister's room (my sister having taken her bed with her to college). It was actually the nicest air mattress I've been on. The first couple nights we thought it was leaking because we had to fill it up every few hours to keep it comfortable, but I think, since it was the first time it had been used, it was just stretching out. It got better the longer we were there.
We arrived on a Saturday. On Sunday my parent's church celebrated its fiftieth anniversary. They had five of the ten pastors in the church's history at the service, and they all took part in some form or another. There was a lunch afterwards, but I was sad to discover it wasn't a potluck because I wanted to show Anna how a Colorado potluck doesn't have all the yellow food you find in an Indiana pitch-in.
I was blown away when I discovered all the high schoolers in the church were the ones I still picture as little kids from my days in Colorado. I was also rather surprised how many people didn't seem to recognize me either.
On Monday, Anna and I met Heather in Castle Rock for coffee. It was a good time. It was awesome to have a chance to get Heather to ourselves for a bit before all the wedding craziness happened. She was surprisingly relaxed for a bride-to-be during the week of her wedding.
My parents took Anna and me out for dinner on Monday night. They chose Carrabba's. I had never been there before. It seemed overpriced. Anna went for the cheapest thing on the menu: grilled chicken. It was $11, and it was the smallest chicken breast I've ever seen.
Tuesday night, we were invited to have dinner with Greg and Bri and Greg's parents. We got to meet Greg and Bri's two kids: Amos and Jaela. They are cute. They made me laugh a lot. Jaela never stopped smiling. We had a great time just sitting and talking to Greg for awhile. But it was absolutely shocking to watch a little kid run up to him and call him 'Daddy'.
On Wednesday, Anna and I drove up to Greeley to see my sister. She's contemplating getting married to a hobbit. I asked her if he has hairy feet. She said that I had better not make fun of his height to his face, or he will hate me forever. I don't think I could make fun of his height to his face without straining my back from bending over so far.
While we were in Colorado, I discovered that the Rockies had a make-up game against the Phillies on Thursday. I also knew that all of our friends would be getting in to Denver that night. I thought to myself, "self, we should go see the Rockies play the Phillies and then we'll already be up there to meet up with our friends." So we did. Except the Rockies decided to rain on my parade, and they blew a four run lead. I was very sad. I might have hit the seat in front of me a few times. But we had our friends to see.
We all had a suite together in a hotel in Denver. I was expecting two rooms of four beds, but it was actually like a small two bedroom apartment with three beds total. Anna and I got to be the 'parents' and got to stay on our own in one room while the others divided up the two beds in the other bedroom. Oddly enough, somehow that translated into Jana sleeping on the fold-out bed in the couch.
The best thing about seeing Janna, Sara, Bob, and Jon again was that it wasn't weird at all. It was just awesome.
That first night we sat around and played 'The Game of Things' for awhile. While we played, I think Sara was slowly losing her mind out of exhaustion, and Jana kept making fun of the rest of us who were used to the Eastern Time Zone. I don't know how we didn't get kicked out of the hotel. Sara was as loud as I've ever heard her.
Friday morning, Heather had us all meet at a local breakfast place called Snooze. It must have been a pretty neat place because we saw a guy from the Food Network there. I had pancakes. They were very good. The place was kind of cool. We spotted a waitress with a tattoo of Michigan with a star over what could have been the Holland area. She even looked Dutch. We figured it would be rude to ask since she wasn't actually our waitress.
After breakfast with Heather, those of us not actually getting married the next day went down to the Garden of the Gods. Jon and Bob broke the rules and climbed on the rocks. There was a couple getting their wedding pictures taken. We're probably in half of them. Ranger Jon explained all the geologic formations to us.
After we were done at the Garden of the Gods, we got dinner at Chick-fil-a so that Jon could experience it for the first time. I never did get his reaction. Jon, please comment with your reaction to your first Chick-fil-a experience.
That night, Heather and Jordan came over to our suite and played the game of things with us. I guess we were their bachelor and bachelorette parties all in one.
The wedding wasn't until five on Saturday so we drove over to Red Rocks. Though I've lived much of my life in Colorado, I had never been to Red Rocks. I must say that after seeing it, I'm disappointed that there was never a concert there I was interested in seeing. It would be awesome.
We went to Hammond's Candies to see their free factory tour. It wasn't terrible. It wasn't great. It would have been much better if they were actually making candy while we were there. I guess we got in too late because they were pretty much done with their daily candy making. From there, we went back to the hotel to change for the wedding.
The wedding was at a 'tennis pavilion', except I didn't see anything related to tennis anywhere. I'm still not sure where we were or what the building was that we were behind, but it seemed to be part of this big estate in the middle of Denver. The ceremony itself was held in a relatively small area with lots of grass and brick work and vines, and it was lovely. But that was only a small part of a much larger garden area full of walkways and flowers and trees. It really was a wonderful place for a wedding.
The reception included a dinner complete with genuine barbeque (smoked) beef brisket. It was awesome. Therefore, Heather, I give your reception two thumbs up.
There was dancing. I didn't dance. I would have slow danced with Anna, but there weren't too many slow dancing songs. We stayed around for several hours chatting and hanging out. Heather and Jordan did a good job of trying to see everyone who had come to the wedding. It was nice to be able to get to give her a proper goodbye before we all went our separate ways.
On Sunday, we decided to walk around the 16th Street Mall for awhile before Jana had to go to the airport for her flight back to California. After we had walked up and down the mall for awhile, Anna and I took Jana to the airport while Jon tagged along. The rest of our friends went on a tour of Coors (the brewery, not the ballpark). We had a nice civil discussion about immigration law while we took Jana to the airport. It was sad getting to the airport. We didn't want to say good bye to our hipster commie friend.
Anna wanted a ukuleles. So after we got rid of that dirty communist, we went in search of a music shop that sold ukuleles. We found one. Anna found herself a new ukulele. She was happy.
We spent much of our hang out time in the company of Ben and Sarah, who are friends of our friends from Calvin. Anna and I hardly knew them at all, but because of their friendship with our friends, they accompanied us on most of our adventures. Sarah had a couple friends who lived in Colorado Springs. So on Sunday night, she arranged to meet them for dinner. Anna, Jon, and I all drove down to the Springs to meet up with everyone else for dinner. I felt bad for Jon the whole time. He ended up stuck at the end of the table looking very lonely with Sarah and her two friends. Anna and I were on the other end with Bob and Sara. We weren't lonely. We were just amused that Sara still felt drunk from the brewery tour.
We went to a Rockies game on Monday. That was awesome. Tulowitzki hit a long home run, and the Rockies actually won. Ubaldo Jimenez was the starting pitcher, and we got to see him get his team record setting 18th win. We all got very sunburned. Poor Sara is probably still feeling it in her knees. Frankly, I'm surprised I haven't developed skin cancer on my ankle yet.
That night, we decided to just order pizza and hang out in the suite. We ordered carryout from Domino's. We used online ordering. The website even told us the name of the person making our pizza. I can't remember what the name was for sure. It might have been Jenny. Jon and I went to pick it up. We gave "Jenny" about twenty minutes to make our pizza before we went. When we showed up, we discovered that "Jenny" was the only one working and that she was frazzled out of her mind. Our pizza ended up taking twice as long as it should have, but we got a free two liter of Coke out of it.
Jon's flight was Monday night. Sara and Bob took him to the airport. It was sad to see him go as well.
Sara and Bob left before we did on Tuesday morning to make their flights. We said a sad farewell.
Anna and I were the last to leave. My mom ended up actually wanting to meet one more time before we hit the road. So we met for breakfast at a little place called Le Peep. We then said goodbye to her and hit the road.
We drove from Denver to just outside of Kansas City on Tuesday. The bathroom in our motel smelled faintly of pee, and we were awoken in the morning by someone opening and then closing our door.
All the residents have my cell number in case of an emergency. We were about two hours from Columbus when my phone started ringing. I answered. It was Beulah. Beulah wanted me to know that her porch light was out. Apparently that constitutes an emergency. I was just grateful I didn't get any ridiculous calls while I was actually in Colorado.
We arrived back here on Wednesday night. The apartment hadn't burned down. No residents had died. I think it turned out to be a very successful trip.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Whatever you do, don't die
The Saturday after the HUD audit, Anna and I took a CPR course. She needs it to get her Indiana teacher's license. I don't need it, but we thought it might be useful around all these old people (though the odds of me trying to save their lives might be pretty slim). There were about eleven people in the class. It sounded like most of them were getting their yearly recertification for CPR for their various jobs. We got to play with dummies on the floor. Then we got to take a test. We took the test together. The instructor had the class come up with a consensus answer and then told us if we were all right. Apparently, they figure that if we are paying to take the class there is no need to know whether or not we really understand. So we all passed. And I feel pretty helpless.
On Wednesday and Thursday of the following week, I had to go to Bloomington for a corporate meeting. I had only actually met three people from the company before. Now I was surrounded by eighty or so of them.
The first day was spent with introductions and then a session on fair housing with some representatives from HUD. The ladies from HUD doing the fair housing, combined with the lady from HUD who did the audit, made me pretty convinced you need to suffer some sort of mental retardation to work for the government.
The second day we got bombarded with three ring binders full of forms and verifications and acknowledgements and contracts to sell our souls to the devil. Two whole binders were dedicated to the rules and regulations involved in verifying the income of people seeking HUD subsidy. I don't know what half the stuff means.
For the two days of the meeting, I sat at a table with my boss and four other people who work for her (three property managers, and the assistant to one of the other property managers). David was one of the managers at the table. If I had any doubts about his sexuality after meeting him the previous week, they were all wiped away (or confirmed) when he and the property manager from Kentucky decided that they were long lost twins/soul mates and they should braid each other's hair.
I'm sure I had more to say about the corporate meeting, but I forget it all.
Anna is taking the Praxis in the morning. She'll rock it. She's a smart cookie.
I keep seeing birth and pregnancy announcements on Facebook for girls that I knew in high school. It's still weird to me. I can't imagine having a kid yet.
The Rockies are thoroughly pissing me off.
Heather is getting married in two and a half weeks. That's pretty cool. Colorado is pretty cool. Being in Colorado for this wedding will be pretty cool.
Anna played her penny whistle in church on Sunday while her dad played the harmonica and another guy from church played the guitar. It was so metal.
People who read this blog: Some Israelite
Someone from Jerusalem found this blog by Googling "hands bigger than any man." I'm not sure what this person was looking for, but they found this blog. They are probably now convinced that the Messiah is writing a blog in Indiana. I'll bet they are already trying to rebuild the temple in Jerusalem.
On Wednesday and Thursday of the following week, I had to go to Bloomington for a corporate meeting. I had only actually met three people from the company before. Now I was surrounded by eighty or so of them.
The first day was spent with introductions and then a session on fair housing with some representatives from HUD. The ladies from HUD doing the fair housing, combined with the lady from HUD who did the audit, made me pretty convinced you need to suffer some sort of mental retardation to work for the government.
The second day we got bombarded with three ring binders full of forms and verifications and acknowledgements and contracts to sell our souls to the devil. Two whole binders were dedicated to the rules and regulations involved in verifying the income of people seeking HUD subsidy. I don't know what half the stuff means.
For the two days of the meeting, I sat at a table with my boss and four other people who work for her (three property managers, and the assistant to one of the other property managers). David was one of the managers at the table. If I had any doubts about his sexuality after meeting him the previous week, they were all wiped away (or confirmed) when he and the property manager from Kentucky decided that they were long lost twins/soul mates and they should braid each other's hair.
I'm sure I had more to say about the corporate meeting, but I forget it all.
Anna is taking the Praxis in the morning. She'll rock it. She's a smart cookie.
I keep seeing birth and pregnancy announcements on Facebook for girls that I knew in high school. It's still weird to me. I can't imagine having a kid yet.
The Rockies are thoroughly pissing me off.
Heather is getting married in two and a half weeks. That's pretty cool. Colorado is pretty cool. Being in Colorado for this wedding will be pretty cool.
Anna played her penny whistle in church on Sunday while her dad played the harmonica and another guy from church played the guitar. It was so metal.
People who read this blog: Some Israelite
Someone from Jerusalem found this blog by Googling "hands bigger than any man." I'm not sure what this person was looking for, but they found this blog. They are probably now convinced that the Messiah is writing a blog in Indiana. I'll bet they are already trying to rebuild the temple in Jerusalem.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tebowmania
This has been a stressful couple weeks.
As you know, the residents at the property I managed receive assistance from HUD for their housing. This means that we have to follow all sorts of special rules and use special forms and follow special procedure to keep HUD happy. HUD checks up on these things occasionally to make sure that we are living up to their expectations. I don't know how frequently they usually do it, but this property has been around for six years and had never had an inspection...until now.
I found out about the inspection about a week and a half before it happened. I spend the next week freaking out because I didn't know what to expect, and I had never really been trained in the proper handling of any of the paperwork. I figured I was going to get fired for screwing some random thing up.
My boss came down the Monday before the inspection (which was scheduled for a Thursday). She brought with her the property manager, David, who has the same job I do in Indianapolis. She had never been through one of these audits at this type of property, but he had. When they showed up, she seemed all tense and worried, but he was pretty relaxed. He knew the lady who was doing the audit and assured us that she would be easy. This would be her first audit, and everything would be fine. She would just come and look around the property and check some files to make sure we were calculating rent properly. My boss was of the opinion that any first time auditor would be hard because they would go by the book on everything. In either case, they both agreed it should only take a couple of hours.
On a side note, this property manager from Indy is very gay. When he and my boss came down, they decided to go introduce themselves to the new Lieutenants at Corps next door. I happened to see one of the Lieutenants while my boss and David were at lunch. He says to me, "What do you think of that David guy?" I told him that this was the first time I had met him. He replied, "He's a little different, don't you think?"
That Monday, the same day my boss and David came down, Mary moved out of her apartment. Part of the audit involves the HUD inspector looking at all vacant units. I am supposed to turn all vacated units in three days. Anna and her mother generously offered to help me paint this one. I don't know how I would have done it without their help, but together, we were able to get the apartment painted by Wednesday night.
My boss showed up at 8 a.m. the Thursday of the audit, to make sure we had everything together before the scheduled audit time of 9 a.m. Linda, the auditor, showed up on time at 9. She looked like a troll.
Linda had the gait of a penguin, a bald spot, buck teeth, and an air of genuine idiocy about her.
The first thing we did was sit down and go through 24 (I'm serious) pages of questions about operating procedure at the property. As soon as we realized she was asking us about things even my boss had never heard of, we knew we were in trouble.
As it turns out, some new government regulations took effect on the first of August. The government didn't seem to find it necessary to inform anyone.
The day started dragging on. My boss and I would exchange looks of exasperation. My back was killing me from sitting still so long.
At one point, Linda decided she needed to go to CVS for a calculator (I think she planned on checking all the rent calculations right there with us). When she came back, she had her calculator and a disposable camera. She promptly broke the camera by prying the shutter release button off. She couldn't understand why it didn't work. My boss patiently tried to explain to her that the 'flap' should have stayed where it was because it was how you took the picture. Linda didn't believe her. She spent about half an hour trying to make the camera work without the shutter release. I spent about half an hour trying to keep a straight face.
The day was dragging like this blog entry. After five hours, she started telling us she would be done soon. After six hours, she assured us that she was almost done.
After seven and a half hours, Linda finally waddled out to her car and left, but I really think she only did so because my boss made it very clear that she had to leave to pick up her kids from the babysitter.
My boss left at the same time, with a vow to murder David.
I went back to our apartment glad that I hadn't been fired yet.
In other news, today was the Donkey's first pre-season game. This means that it was Tim Tebow's NFL debut. He threw for just over a hundred yards and ran for a touchdown. This means that the media is all excited, and I'm sure that many uneducated Donkey fans are excited as well. I, however, can tell you that Tebow was playing as the third string quarterback against third string defenders. I will not get excited until he wins us a Super Bowl.
The Rockies don't want Jimenez to reach 20 wins. They don't even want him to reach 18 wins. They want to make sure he gets at least a no decision or a loss in the rest of his games. They want him to lose his one run gems. They refuse to hold a lead for him in the ninth inning. Basically, I think they hate the guy.
I stink right now. It has been so hot and humid, and today, I spent a little too long in a car devoid of air conditioning.
There is much more I have to write about, but this post is already too long. Maybe I will get the motivation to tell you more about everything that is important in life soon, my faithful readers.
People who live here: John
John moved in to 103 last week, after Mary moved out. He is Katie's ex-husband. Because of this, he and Katie have the same last name. Except, they don't. Her's has a 'u' in it, where his has a 'w'. I noticed this on his application but figured I just couldn't read the writing, but I was really shocked when I saw his SS card. I asked their daughter about this when she was helping him with his paperwork. She said the kids didn't realize it until they got older and started having to get things like driver's licenses. Apparently, amongst the children the last name was spelled two different ways as well. After learning this, I think I can guess what happened. Remember that Katie is completely illiterate (and I think John might be as well). I am willing to bet that when they got married, someone had to fill out the marriage certificate and the name change application for them, and they replaced the 'w' with the 'u'. I am also willing to bet that when the various children were born they just showed someone a driver's license to give them the spelling of the last name, and thus the kid's last name was determined by which parent's license was produced.
As you know, the residents at the property I managed receive assistance from HUD for their housing. This means that we have to follow all sorts of special rules and use special forms and follow special procedure to keep HUD happy. HUD checks up on these things occasionally to make sure that we are living up to their expectations. I don't know how frequently they usually do it, but this property has been around for six years and had never had an inspection...until now.
I found out about the inspection about a week and a half before it happened. I spend the next week freaking out because I didn't know what to expect, and I had never really been trained in the proper handling of any of the paperwork. I figured I was going to get fired for screwing some random thing up.
My boss came down the Monday before the inspection (which was scheduled for a Thursday). She brought with her the property manager, David, who has the same job I do in Indianapolis. She had never been through one of these audits at this type of property, but he had. When they showed up, she seemed all tense and worried, but he was pretty relaxed. He knew the lady who was doing the audit and assured us that she would be easy. This would be her first audit, and everything would be fine. She would just come and look around the property and check some files to make sure we were calculating rent properly. My boss was of the opinion that any first time auditor would be hard because they would go by the book on everything. In either case, they both agreed it should only take a couple of hours.
On a side note, this property manager from Indy is very gay. When he and my boss came down, they decided to go introduce themselves to the new Lieutenants at Corps next door. I happened to see one of the Lieutenants while my boss and David were at lunch. He says to me, "What do you think of that David guy?" I told him that this was the first time I had met him. He replied, "He's a little different, don't you think?"
That Monday, the same day my boss and David came down, Mary moved out of her apartment. Part of the audit involves the HUD inspector looking at all vacant units. I am supposed to turn all vacated units in three days. Anna and her mother generously offered to help me paint this one. I don't know how I would have done it without their help, but together, we were able to get the apartment painted by Wednesday night.
My boss showed up at 8 a.m. the Thursday of the audit, to make sure we had everything together before the scheduled audit time of 9 a.m. Linda, the auditor, showed up on time at 9. She looked like a troll.
Linda had the gait of a penguin, a bald spot, buck teeth, and an air of genuine idiocy about her.
The first thing we did was sit down and go through 24 (I'm serious) pages of questions about operating procedure at the property. As soon as we realized she was asking us about things even my boss had never heard of, we knew we were in trouble.
As it turns out, some new government regulations took effect on the first of August. The government didn't seem to find it necessary to inform anyone.
The day started dragging on. My boss and I would exchange looks of exasperation. My back was killing me from sitting still so long.
At one point, Linda decided she needed to go to CVS for a calculator (I think she planned on checking all the rent calculations right there with us). When she came back, she had her calculator and a disposable camera. She promptly broke the camera by prying the shutter release button off. She couldn't understand why it didn't work. My boss patiently tried to explain to her that the 'flap' should have stayed where it was because it was how you took the picture. Linda didn't believe her. She spent about half an hour trying to make the camera work without the shutter release. I spent about half an hour trying to keep a straight face.
The day was dragging like this blog entry. After five hours, she started telling us she would be done soon. After six hours, she assured us that she was almost done.
After seven and a half hours, Linda finally waddled out to her car and left, but I really think she only did so because my boss made it very clear that she had to leave to pick up her kids from the babysitter.
My boss left at the same time, with a vow to murder David.
I went back to our apartment glad that I hadn't been fired yet.
In other news, today was the Donkey's first pre-season game. This means that it was Tim Tebow's NFL debut. He threw for just over a hundred yards and ran for a touchdown. This means that the media is all excited, and I'm sure that many uneducated Donkey fans are excited as well. I, however, can tell you that Tebow was playing as the third string quarterback against third string defenders. I will not get excited until he wins us a Super Bowl.
The Rockies don't want Jimenez to reach 20 wins. They don't even want him to reach 18 wins. They want to make sure he gets at least a no decision or a loss in the rest of his games. They want him to lose his one run gems. They refuse to hold a lead for him in the ninth inning. Basically, I think they hate the guy.
I stink right now. It has been so hot and humid, and today, I spent a little too long in a car devoid of air conditioning.
There is much more I have to write about, but this post is already too long. Maybe I will get the motivation to tell you more about everything that is important in life soon, my faithful readers.
People who live here: John
John moved in to 103 last week, after Mary moved out. He is Katie's ex-husband. Because of this, he and Katie have the same last name. Except, they don't. Her's has a 'u' in it, where his has a 'w'. I noticed this on his application but figured I just couldn't read the writing, but I was really shocked when I saw his SS card. I asked their daughter about this when she was helping him with his paperwork. She said the kids didn't realize it until they got older and started having to get things like driver's licenses. Apparently, amongst the children the last name was spelled two different ways as well. After learning this, I think I can guess what happened. Remember that Katie is completely illiterate (and I think John might be as well). I am willing to bet that when they got married, someone had to fill out the marriage certificate and the name change application for them, and they replaced the 'w' with the 'u'. I am also willing to bet that when the various children were born they just showed someone a driver's license to give them the spelling of the last name, and thus the kid's last name was determined by which parent's license was produced.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Football season! Football season! Wherefore art thou, Football Season?
I don't actually want it to be football season yet. I know that the Broncos will just be terrible and depress me. But the Rockies are doing an excellent job of depressing me at the moment.
I had to replace the light fixture in Katie's living room ceiling. The changing of the fixture itself isn't hard, but Katie's apartment makes it torture. Please, recall with me that Katie does nothing but smoke all day long. Then picture that in combination with an apartment in which she refuses to use her air conditioner. I'd be willing to bet the air was 90 degrees near the ceiling. And she sat there the whole time, smoking a cigarette and watching me stifle.
Cade was jumping up and down on the couch on Monday. Anna told him to stop. He did it one more time, landed awkwardly on a pillow, and fell into the couch, slightly twisting his arm. He claimed he broke it. Except, he didn't start crying until after he realized Anna and I weren't going to act concerned about it. Once he did start crying, he stopped every time we looked away from him, but if he caught us glancing his direction, he screwed up his eyes and started making faces like he was dying. When his mother picked him up, he asked to be taken to the doctor. She just told him the doctor's office was closed.
I'm slightly stinky right now.
We've been trying to get the various problems with our car repaired. Today, we were going to have Anna's father replace a part that the auto-parts store suggested we try. Anna's father and I looked for awhile, and we could not figure out where this part was supposed to go. Anna's parents had to go to church, so I went to shut the hood, and it didn't shut all the way. I tried to open it. It wouldn't open. Anna's father tried to pry it with a crowbar. It wouldn't budge. He had to leave for church of course. So I continued on without him. I spent over half an hour pulling and pounding and jerking and prying and screaming and praying at that thing without it moving at all. Finally, I laid my face right on the hood, uttered one last desperation prayer, and pulled again on the release latch. It popped free instantly, and the hood opened right up.
While we were at the in-laws, waiting for them to get back from church, Anna's father's cell kept ringing. It was Anna's grandmother. She wouldn't quit calling, but there was no way on earth we were going to answer. She even tried calling Anna's phone. She did finally leave a voice mail on Anna's phone, and now we have discovered that we are eating dinner at her place on Friday night. Yay. And by 'yay,' I mean 'boo.'
Anna has a substitute teacher meeting tomorrow morning.
I'm getting hungry again.
We had Poop Face at the in-laws' place the other day to burn some energy, and when we let her inside, we found her to be absolutely covered with burs. I think she still has them tangled in her beard and around her paws. She looked ridiculous.
Last week, we took Cade to the in-laws' pool so he could swim. While he was swimming, I killed 27 horse flies with a broom.
The grass is getting very brown.
My right ear canal is starting to itch, but I don't want to remove my headphones to scratch it.
Red.
A new Best Buy opened up here. That's cool. It means I won't have to drive up to Greenwood to find a lot of the CDs I want.
Yes, I do still buy CDs. I want something physical to hold while I listen to an album for the first time. I want to see the artwork. I want to try to figure out the band's intent. I don't want to just download it and add it to another playlist.
I want Chinese food.
My chin itches.
Goodnight, minions.
I had to replace the light fixture in Katie's living room ceiling. The changing of the fixture itself isn't hard, but Katie's apartment makes it torture. Please, recall with me that Katie does nothing but smoke all day long. Then picture that in combination with an apartment in which she refuses to use her air conditioner. I'd be willing to bet the air was 90 degrees near the ceiling. And she sat there the whole time, smoking a cigarette and watching me stifle.
Cade was jumping up and down on the couch on Monday. Anna told him to stop. He did it one more time, landed awkwardly on a pillow, and fell into the couch, slightly twisting his arm. He claimed he broke it. Except, he didn't start crying until after he realized Anna and I weren't going to act concerned about it. Once he did start crying, he stopped every time we looked away from him, but if he caught us glancing his direction, he screwed up his eyes and started making faces like he was dying. When his mother picked him up, he asked to be taken to the doctor. She just told him the doctor's office was closed.
I'm slightly stinky right now.
We've been trying to get the various problems with our car repaired. Today, we were going to have Anna's father replace a part that the auto-parts store suggested we try. Anna's father and I looked for awhile, and we could not figure out where this part was supposed to go. Anna's parents had to go to church, so I went to shut the hood, and it didn't shut all the way. I tried to open it. It wouldn't open. Anna's father tried to pry it with a crowbar. It wouldn't budge. He had to leave for church of course. So I continued on without him. I spent over half an hour pulling and pounding and jerking and prying and screaming and praying at that thing without it moving at all. Finally, I laid my face right on the hood, uttered one last desperation prayer, and pulled again on the release latch. It popped free instantly, and the hood opened right up.
While we were at the in-laws, waiting for them to get back from church, Anna's father's cell kept ringing. It was Anna's grandmother. She wouldn't quit calling, but there was no way on earth we were going to answer. She even tried calling Anna's phone. She did finally leave a voice mail on Anna's phone, and now we have discovered that we are eating dinner at her place on Friday night. Yay. And by 'yay,' I mean 'boo.'
Anna has a substitute teacher meeting tomorrow morning.
I'm getting hungry again.
We had Poop Face at the in-laws' place the other day to burn some energy, and when we let her inside, we found her to be absolutely covered with burs. I think she still has them tangled in her beard and around her paws. She looked ridiculous.
Last week, we took Cade to the in-laws' pool so he could swim. While he was swimming, I killed 27 horse flies with a broom.
The grass is getting very brown.
My right ear canal is starting to itch, but I don't want to remove my headphones to scratch it.
Red.
A new Best Buy opened up here. That's cool. It means I won't have to drive up to Greenwood to find a lot of the CDs I want.
Yes, I do still buy CDs. I want something physical to hold while I listen to an album for the first time. I want to see the artwork. I want to try to figure out the band's intent. I don't want to just download it and add it to another playlist.
I want Chinese food.
My chin itches.
Goodnight, minions.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Hammer Time!
Cade can spend hours on end screaming. I'm not exaggerating. I sit in the office and listen to him scream the entire time I am there. Poor Anna has to listen to this up close.
Katie gets Meals on Wheels delivered everyday. The other day the guy was handing her her bag in front of the office, and she looked at it and said that it wasn't the right one. The guy asked her if that was her last name on the bag, and she said 'no.' Then she took the bag into the office and showed me. Sure enough, her last name was printed plain as day on the bag. I knew she was illiterate. I did not know that she could only recognize her name if both the first and last name were present.
Last Friday, Anna and I went to Cincinnati to watch the Rockies play the Reds. Before the game started, we heard the public address announcer mention that MC Hammer was there. I didn't really pay attention to what all he said about him, but I thought that that was kind of weird and cool. Anna leaned over to me and said that all she wanted was to hear MC Hammer sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame," and sure enough, when it came time for the seventh inning stretch, Hammer was there leading the stadium in song. We laughed and thought that was pretty cool, and then we heard that not only would there be a fireworks show after the game because it was a Friday night, but MC Hammer would have a concert after the game as well. Yeah, it was that awesome. I had never in my life imagined I'd go to a ball game and get to see "U Can't Touch This" and "Too Legit to Quit" performed live (Sara, I could only think of you as I watched him do his famous dance movies). The fireworks were pretty sweet as well. As Anna said, there were four or five times when we thought "surely this must be the finale" and would have gone away very impressed, but they just kept going.
The problem with me become terrible at updating this blog is that I always forget all the good stuff I have to write about. Now it will never be remembered and is disappearing into nothingness.
I don't know what to tell you, my faithful readers. I fail.
I have started doing the same question answering service as Anna, and I keep wanting to end all of my statements with the sign out phrase I use on there. It bothers me.
Chief is bad.
Howie is good.
Poop Face smells like poop.
I killed 27 horse flies today. I used a broom.
Red.
I picked up the new Haste the Day and Norma Jean albums. I am disappointed with Haste the Day, but I really like the new Norma Jean.
Speaking of music, I occasionally like to do those silly Facebook quizzes where you put your music library on shuffle and click next to answer all the questions. Here are mine from today:
Will I get far in life?
-Embraced, Point of Recognition
How do my friends see me?:
-Breathing Murder, Living Sacrifice
Where will I get married?:
-Under Lock and Key, MxPx
What is the story of my life?:
-Skin Shed, Argyle Park
What is/was high school like?:
-Bring the Heat, Disciple
How can I get ahead in life?:
-On Legendary, Further Seems Forever
What is the best thing about me?:
-Cult of She, He is Legend
How is today going to be?:
-It's Hard Not to Shake With a Gun in Your Mouth, Zao
What is in store for this weekend?:
-Distorted, Living Sacrifice
What song describes my parents?:
-Per Te, Josh Groban
my grandparents?:
-Angry Sunset, Crash Rickshaw
How is my life going?
-Mad World, Gary Jules (Donnie Darko soundtrack)
What song will they play at my funeral?:
-A Mad Russian's Christmas, Trans-Siberian Orchestra
How does the world see me?:
-Trip the Land-mine, Trenches
Will I have a happy life?
-Ambient Diablo, Narcissus
What do my friends really think of me?:
-For you, Staind
How can I make myself happy?:
-Family System, Chevelle
What should I do with my life?:
-Beat the Devil, Rackets & Drapes
Will I ever have children?
-Revolution, P.O.D.
What is some good advice?:
-Bloodsucker Pt. 2, As Cities Burn
What is my signature dancing song?:
-Emerge, Living Sacrifice
What do I think my current theme song is?:
-Forevermore, Spoken
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?:
-Company Car, Switchfoot
NOW! Pick 10 friends and the next ten songs will be for them!
Friend 1: Anna - The Flame that Guides Us Home, Demon Hunter
Friend 2: Jana - Something We Can't Be, Project 86
Friend 3: Sara - Hymn A L'Amour, Josh Groban (weird)
Friend 4: Heather - No Grave Concern, Living Sacrifice
Friend 5: Andi - Oh Lonely Grave, Maylene & the Sons of Disaster
Friend 6: Bob - Pink Maggit, Deftones
Friend 7: Jon - Screams of the Undead, Demon Hunter
Friend 8: Christopher - Get Out, Rod Laver
Friend 9: Jeremy - Police Truck, Dead Kennedys
Friend 10: Kendra - Swarming Spirits, Tourniquet
I know Bob and Christopher and perhaps Jeremy don't read this blog, but they may have seen this on Facebook. Anyway, I know there are two people who read this blog regularly who aren't on Facebook, and I think they deserve songs too.
Friend 11: Joel-The Hand, The Furnace, The Straight Face; Project 86
Friend 12: Aimee-Toreador II, Apocalyptica
I don't have much else to say. Goodnight.
Katie gets Meals on Wheels delivered everyday. The other day the guy was handing her her bag in front of the office, and she looked at it and said that it wasn't the right one. The guy asked her if that was her last name on the bag, and she said 'no.' Then she took the bag into the office and showed me. Sure enough, her last name was printed plain as day on the bag. I knew she was illiterate. I did not know that she could only recognize her name if both the first and last name were present.
Last Friday, Anna and I went to Cincinnati to watch the Rockies play the Reds. Before the game started, we heard the public address announcer mention that MC Hammer was there. I didn't really pay attention to what all he said about him, but I thought that that was kind of weird and cool. Anna leaned over to me and said that all she wanted was to hear MC Hammer sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame," and sure enough, when it came time for the seventh inning stretch, Hammer was there leading the stadium in song. We laughed and thought that was pretty cool, and then we heard that not only would there be a fireworks show after the game because it was a Friday night, but MC Hammer would have a concert after the game as well. Yeah, it was that awesome. I had never in my life imagined I'd go to a ball game and get to see "U Can't Touch This" and "Too Legit to Quit" performed live (Sara, I could only think of you as I watched him do his famous dance movies). The fireworks were pretty sweet as well. As Anna said, there were four or five times when we thought "surely this must be the finale" and would have gone away very impressed, but they just kept going.
The problem with me become terrible at updating this blog is that I always forget all the good stuff I have to write about. Now it will never be remembered and is disappearing into nothingness.
I don't know what to tell you, my faithful readers. I fail.
I have started doing the same question answering service as Anna, and I keep wanting to end all of my statements with the sign out phrase I use on there. It bothers me.
Chief is bad.
Howie is good.
Poop Face smells like poop.
I killed 27 horse flies today. I used a broom.
Red.
I picked up the new Haste the Day and Norma Jean albums. I am disappointed with Haste the Day, but I really like the new Norma Jean.
Speaking of music, I occasionally like to do those silly Facebook quizzes where you put your music library on shuffle and click next to answer all the questions. Here are mine from today:
Will I get far in life?
-Embraced, Point of Recognition
How do my friends see me?:
-Breathing Murder, Living Sacrifice
Where will I get married?:
-Under Lock and Key, MxPx
What is the story of my life?:
-Skin Shed, Argyle Park
What is/was high school like?:
-Bring the Heat, Disciple
How can I get ahead in life?:
-On Legendary, Further Seems Forever
What is the best thing about me?:
-Cult of She, He is Legend
How is today going to be?:
-It's Hard Not to Shake With a Gun in Your Mouth, Zao
What is in store for this weekend?:
-Distorted, Living Sacrifice
What song describes my parents?:
-Per Te, Josh Groban
my grandparents?:
-Angry Sunset, Crash Rickshaw
How is my life going?
-Mad World, Gary Jules (Donnie Darko soundtrack)
What song will they play at my funeral?:
-A Mad Russian's Christmas, Trans-Siberian Orchestra
How does the world see me?:
-Trip the Land-mine, Trenches
Will I have a happy life?
-Ambient Diablo, Narcissus
What do my friends really think of me?:
-For you, Staind
How can I make myself happy?:
-Family System, Chevelle
What should I do with my life?:
-Beat the Devil, Rackets & Drapes
Will I ever have children?
-Revolution, P.O.D.
What is some good advice?:
-Bloodsucker Pt. 2, As Cities Burn
What is my signature dancing song?:
-Emerge, Living Sacrifice
What do I think my current theme song is?:
-Forevermore, Spoken
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?:
-Company Car, Switchfoot
NOW! Pick 10 friends and the next ten songs will be for them!
Friend 1: Anna - The Flame that Guides Us Home, Demon Hunter
Friend 2: Jana - Something We Can't Be, Project 86
Friend 3: Sara - Hymn A L'Amour, Josh Groban (weird)
Friend 4: Heather - No Grave Concern, Living Sacrifice
Friend 5: Andi - Oh Lonely Grave, Maylene & the Sons of Disaster
Friend 6: Bob - Pink Maggit, Deftones
Friend 7: Jon - Screams of the Undead, Demon Hunter
Friend 8: Christopher - Get Out, Rod Laver
Friend 9: Jeremy - Police Truck, Dead Kennedys
Friend 10: Kendra - Swarming Spirits, Tourniquet
I know Bob and Christopher and perhaps Jeremy don't read this blog, but they may have seen this on Facebook. Anyway, I know there are two people who read this blog regularly who aren't on Facebook, and I think they deserve songs too.
Friend 11: Joel-The Hand, The Furnace, The Straight Face; Project 86
Friend 12: Aimee-Toreador II, Apocalyptica
I don't have much else to say. Goodnight.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
July 5th and 6th
I made pretzels again last night. I guess they were a sort of anniversary present thing to me. I don't know what Anna got.
My mom was here for a little over a week. Her brother (who lives two hours from here, in Dayton, OH) had surgery a couple months ago and hasn't been doing well. My mom went back and forth a few times. Unfortunately, she decided she should be here for the 4th of July, so she could hear my sermon. She actually videotaped it without my knowledge. Then she had the audacity to burn dvd copies for my my uncle, grandfather, and father-in-law. I am ashamed.
Poop Face stinks again.
Anna and I saw Toy Story 3 this afternoon. It was very enjoyable. We also discovered that the local theater now has five dollar tickets all day, Mon-Thurs. We will certainly take advantage of this fact.
We set off our fireworks on Monday night after the fireworks stands started dropping prices on all their inventory.
Anna got me a subscription to HM magazine for my birthday. Conveniently enough, my first issue happens to have been the 25th anniversary issue for the magazine. It came complete with a "Top 100 Christian Rock Albums" list. The thing about such lists is that they are guaranteed to upset people. I understand that. But I will still allow myself to be upset by the inclusion of bands such as Flyleaf, Family Force 5, and Pax217. These are low points in Christian music, not high points.
For our anniversary, Anna got a me a Colorado Rockies shirt. I have decided it is lucky. I was wearing it on Tuesday night, when the Rockies won after being down six runs in the bottom of the 9th. I about pooped myself.
Why do you people still read this thing? I've been terrible at updating? You sicken me with your sick fascination with my sick sense of humor. I think I'm going to be sick.
Blue.
My wrist hurts.
People who live here: #117 Patsy
Patsy just moved in last week. Somehow she managed to lose her apartment keys between signing the lease and actually trying to get moved in to her apartment. She still hasn't found them. Patsy is missing half of her teeth. And by "half of her teeth," I mean that Patsy appears to only have teeth on the left side of her mouth. Patsy is a talker. She gives fifteen minute stories to answer a "yes or no" question. I can tell that her family and friends are well aware of this because when they have been around I have noticed them attempting to give quick answers before her and head her off before she gets going. It never works. She has to say was she started saying. There is no way around it.
My mom was here for a little over a week. Her brother (who lives two hours from here, in Dayton, OH) had surgery a couple months ago and hasn't been doing well. My mom went back and forth a few times. Unfortunately, she decided she should be here for the 4th of July, so she could hear my sermon. She actually videotaped it without my knowledge. Then she had the audacity to burn dvd copies for my my uncle, grandfather, and father-in-law. I am ashamed.
Poop Face stinks again.
Anna and I saw Toy Story 3 this afternoon. It was very enjoyable. We also discovered that the local theater now has five dollar tickets all day, Mon-Thurs. We will certainly take advantage of this fact.
We set off our fireworks on Monday night after the fireworks stands started dropping prices on all their inventory.
Anna got me a subscription to HM magazine for my birthday. Conveniently enough, my first issue happens to have been the 25th anniversary issue for the magazine. It came complete with a "Top 100 Christian Rock Albums" list. The thing about such lists is that they are guaranteed to upset people. I understand that. But I will still allow myself to be upset by the inclusion of bands such as Flyleaf, Family Force 5, and Pax217. These are low points in Christian music, not high points.
For our anniversary, Anna got a me a Colorado Rockies shirt. I have decided it is lucky. I was wearing it on Tuesday night, when the Rockies won after being down six runs in the bottom of the 9th. I about pooped myself.
Why do you people still read this thing? I've been terrible at updating? You sicken me with your sick fascination with my sick sense of humor. I think I'm going to be sick.
Blue.
My wrist hurts.
People who live here: #117 Patsy
Patsy just moved in last week. Somehow she managed to lose her apartment keys between signing the lease and actually trying to get moved in to her apartment. She still hasn't found them. Patsy is missing half of her teeth. And by "half of her teeth," I mean that Patsy appears to only have teeth on the left side of her mouth. Patsy is a talker. She gives fifteen minute stories to answer a "yes or no" question. I can tell that her family and friends are well aware of this because when they have been around I have noticed them attempting to give quick answers before her and head her off before she gets going. It never works. She has to say was she started saying. There is no way around it.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Pretzels
I'm blogging while I wait for the pretzel dough I'm making to finish rising.
I am blogging in clothes for once.
Camouflage Taz boxers.
I don't even remember the last time I updated you, my faithful readers, on anythings. I'm also too lazy to go read my last post. So instead of trying to fill you all in on these last couple chaotic and painful weeks, I will just pretend like they never happened, and they will forever be a void in history.
Troy Tulowitzki broke his wrist. That sucks. He had finally started hitting for power, and now we are having to fill his spot with Jonathan Herrera, who hasn't shown much in the way of hitting prowess.
I like Starburst candy.
Cade came over yesterday. He took a nap from 7-11, woke up, and promptly announced to Anna that it might be time for his morning nap. As you can probably guess, he did not go back to sleep. Instead, he spent most of the rest of the day terrorizing Daisy (or Poop Face, as I like to call her).
I need to stop eating these Starbursts.
Anna's father is about to enter into "shutdown" at his place of employment, which means he'll be working seven twelve hour days for a month or two. The first Sunday that he will miss for this happens to be July 4th, and he has asked if I would be willing to give the sermon that morning. I said I would. I don't really care that that day happens to be my birthday, but what I am worried about is it being the 4th and not knowing what expectations the congregation has for a patriotic sermon.
That reminds me. I need to dig out my trumpet. I said I'd play the National Anthem on the 4th.
Anna signed up to answer questions for a text message and phone based question answering service. She gets paid $.02 per question she answers, but on a good night, she can answer a thousand questions. Sometimes I sit with her while she does it, and we laugh at the ridiculous things people ask.
Bobbie likes to lean against the door at the end of the hallway and watch the vegetable stand across the road.
I still feel like Poop Face is a completely different dog now that she has gotten a haircut.
I think we'll go over to Anna's parents' tonight and bring some of these pretzels that I'm making. Anna wants to go swimming. I'm allergic to swimming and water in general.
The latest forecast says it's supposed to reach 97 degrees tomorrow. We'll probably take Cade over to Anna's parents' to swim. Remind me to put sunscreen on the little bugger (though to look at him after his vacation to South Carolina, I doubt his parents worried too much about sunscreen themselves).
People who read this blog: Someone near Florrisant, CO.
I'm seeing a few hits from a wireless connection out of Florrisant, Colorado. I've been through Florrisant. Quite frankly, I'm surprised it's capable of having wireless internet, but in any case, I have a sneaking suspicion this might actually be our friend Kendra, who is currently vacationing in Colorado. Kendra, if that's you, I'd like to say howdy. And then you die.
I am blogging in clothes for once.
Camouflage Taz boxers.
I don't even remember the last time I updated you, my faithful readers, on anythings. I'm also too lazy to go read my last post. So instead of trying to fill you all in on these last couple chaotic and painful weeks, I will just pretend like they never happened, and they will forever be a void in history.
Troy Tulowitzki broke his wrist. That sucks. He had finally started hitting for power, and now we are having to fill his spot with Jonathan Herrera, who hasn't shown much in the way of hitting prowess.
I like Starburst candy.
Cade came over yesterday. He took a nap from 7-11, woke up, and promptly announced to Anna that it might be time for his morning nap. As you can probably guess, he did not go back to sleep. Instead, he spent most of the rest of the day terrorizing Daisy (or Poop Face, as I like to call her).
I need to stop eating these Starbursts.
Anna's father is about to enter into "shutdown" at his place of employment, which means he'll be working seven twelve hour days for a month or two. The first Sunday that he will miss for this happens to be July 4th, and he has asked if I would be willing to give the sermon that morning. I said I would. I don't really care that that day happens to be my birthday, but what I am worried about is it being the 4th and not knowing what expectations the congregation has for a patriotic sermon.
That reminds me. I need to dig out my trumpet. I said I'd play the National Anthem on the 4th.
Anna signed up to answer questions for a text message and phone based question answering service. She gets paid $.02 per question she answers, but on a good night, she can answer a thousand questions. Sometimes I sit with her while she does it, and we laugh at the ridiculous things people ask.
Bobbie likes to lean against the door at the end of the hallway and watch the vegetable stand across the road.
I still feel like Poop Face is a completely different dog now that she has gotten a haircut.
I think we'll go over to Anna's parents' tonight and bring some of these pretzels that I'm making. Anna wants to go swimming. I'm allergic to swimming and water in general.
The latest forecast says it's supposed to reach 97 degrees tomorrow. We'll probably take Cade over to Anna's parents' to swim. Remind me to put sunscreen on the little bugger (though to look at him after his vacation to South Carolina, I doubt his parents worried too much about sunscreen themselves).
People who read this blog: Someone near Florrisant, CO.
I'm seeing a few hits from a wireless connection out of Florrisant, Colorado. I've been through Florrisant. Quite frankly, I'm surprised it's capable of having wireless internet, but in any case, I have a sneaking suspicion this might actually be our friend Kendra, who is currently vacationing in Colorado. Kendra, if that's you, I'd like to say howdy. And then you die.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
One Year
It has been one year since I took this job.
I have a cold.
Anna hurt her back.
Chief Moses Puddington Chestertonfieldvillefordburg is still rotten.
Howie is still awesome.
Daisy smells.
The Rockies have a better record right now than they did a year ago.
No one has died at the apartment since I took this job. I hope that trend continues.
George told me Katie needed something today, but I couldn't understand what. I went to see Katie. Her garbage disposal wasn't working. I hit the reset button and turned it on. It made a terrible noise. I got a flashlight. I found a piece of what appears to be porcelain in the disposal. At first, I was afraid it was a tooth (did I ever mention that when Pearl moved out of her apartment last summer, I found a tooth in one of the kitchen drawers?).
Darbie is done for the summer. In the fall, she will go back to regular school.
On Friday, Phyllis introduced us (Anna, Darbie, and me) to her brand new great-great-grandchild. Yes, you read that right. I said great-great-grandchild. Phyllis is 69.
I'm watching "Deadliest Catch" at the moment, and I can't decide if I'm reading significance into the editing of the show because I know that Captain Phil died or if the show was edited with his imminent demise in mind.
I'm moving towards the snotty portion of my cold. My eyes are starting to water as the snot leaks out of my nose.
I made chicken fingers tonight.
Memorial Day weekend was awesome because I got to watch not one but two Rockies games on the MLB network (including Jimenez' complete game shutout of the Giants).
The church held a fish fry on Sunday night. The fish was tasty. People brought tasty side dishes. The kids are funny. I enjoyed myself (as much as I could due to the cold I could feel coming).
Since I mentioned "Deadliest Catch," I feel I should assure my faithful readers that I am not one to delude myself into thinking I could do that job. I know I couldn't. I value sleep way too much and function way too poorly without it.
Anna's parents went horseback riding yesterday. I think they had a good time. Unfortunately, when they were finished riding and ready to head home, they made the sad discovery that their truck had broken down. This led to Anna's father spending the night in the park with the horses and spending all day today fixing his truck.
Bobbie knocked on the door this afternoon wanting $25 in quarters. I told her I would give them to her tomorrow.
I'm kind of thirsty. Fortunately, I replenished my supply of AriZona Pomegranate Green Tea. Unfortunately, I don't have a mini-fridge by my computer.
Good night, faithful readers.
I have a cold.
Anna hurt her back.
Chief Moses Puddington Chestertonfieldvillefordburg is still rotten.
Howie is still awesome.
Daisy smells.
The Rockies have a better record right now than they did a year ago.
No one has died at the apartment since I took this job. I hope that trend continues.
George told me Katie needed something today, but I couldn't understand what. I went to see Katie. Her garbage disposal wasn't working. I hit the reset button and turned it on. It made a terrible noise. I got a flashlight. I found a piece of what appears to be porcelain in the disposal. At first, I was afraid it was a tooth (did I ever mention that when Pearl moved out of her apartment last summer, I found a tooth in one of the kitchen drawers?).
Darbie is done for the summer. In the fall, she will go back to regular school.
On Friday, Phyllis introduced us (Anna, Darbie, and me) to her brand new great-great-grandchild. Yes, you read that right. I said great-great-grandchild. Phyllis is 69.
I'm watching "Deadliest Catch" at the moment, and I can't decide if I'm reading significance into the editing of the show because I know that Captain Phil died or if the show was edited with his imminent demise in mind.
I'm moving towards the snotty portion of my cold. My eyes are starting to water as the snot leaks out of my nose.
I made chicken fingers tonight.
Memorial Day weekend was awesome because I got to watch not one but two Rockies games on the MLB network (including Jimenez' complete game shutout of the Giants).
The church held a fish fry on Sunday night. The fish was tasty. People brought tasty side dishes. The kids are funny. I enjoyed myself (as much as I could due to the cold I could feel coming).
Since I mentioned "Deadliest Catch," I feel I should assure my faithful readers that I am not one to delude myself into thinking I could do that job. I know I couldn't. I value sleep way too much and function way too poorly without it.
Anna's parents went horseback riding yesterday. I think they had a good time. Unfortunately, when they were finished riding and ready to head home, they made the sad discovery that their truck had broken down. This led to Anna's father spending the night in the park with the horses and spending all day today fixing his truck.
Bobbie knocked on the door this afternoon wanting $25 in quarters. I told her I would give them to her tomorrow.
I'm kind of thirsty. Fortunately, I replenished my supply of AriZona Pomegranate Green Tea. Unfortunately, I don't have a mini-fridge by my computer.
Good night, faithful readers.
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