A couple weeks ago, I was doing laundry. I had to move our clothes from the washers to the dryers. Someone else's clothes were sitting in the dryer already dry. It appeared that their owner had forgotten about them since they had been dry for at least an hour, so I took them out of the dryer and started switching our clothes from the washers. While I was doing this, George came out of his apartment, walked to the doorway of the laundry room, and stared at me the whole time I was loading the dryers. I wondered at first if it was his clothes that had been in the dryer, but it was mostly bras and women's underwear. George didn't say a word. He just stared at me. I finished switching the clothes, started the dryers, and walked back to my apartment. George watched me the whole way.
Maybe twenty minutes later, there was a knock on our door. It was George. He was agitated. I could tell he wanted me to come to his apartment, but I couldn't understand why. I followed him into his apartment to discover one of his floozies sitting at his table with a cigarette in hand and a bottle of liquor in front of her listening to a radio that looked to be at least as old as I am. I recognized her as the floozy that I most often see visiting George. I gathered as George continued to gesticulate and slobber all over the room that he wanted me to make her leave. When she realized what he wanted and why I was there, she threw a fit and started going off on how all George had to do was ask her to leave and that she was just waiting for her clothes to dry and how George was just upset because she wasn't letting him feel her up. I just told her that if he wanted her to leave, she would have to leave. She tried to tell me that she was waiting for her clothes to dry. I assured her that I knew for a fact that they were dry (I hope you paid attention to the first paragraph). I waited around until she quit cussing and insulting George and grabbed her clothes and left. I then went back to my apartment.
Fifteen minutes later there was another knock on the door. It was George. This time he was bleeding from a bump the size and color of a red grape on his right cheek bone. Of course I asked him if he was alright and what happened and so on and so forth, but all I got out of him was that he needed my help to find his glasses. I started following him back to his apartment and saw that there was a police officer there. The Lieutenant from the Salvation Army happened to be there at this time for a pot-luck with the residents. At this point, I didn't know anything more than that George was bleeding and that the police had been called. The Lieutenant was aware already of George's floozies and told me he had just seen one come in and leave almost immediately just a few minutes before. I asked her what this one looked like, and he described a younger goth looking girl. That didn't sound familiar to me, and it certainly didn't sound like the floozy George had just wanted me to kick out. The Lt. went back to the dinner, and I spent the next twenty minutes trying to interpret George's babble to the police. What we did manage to gather was that a floozy had come, taken thirty dollars from George's wallet, and punched him in the face (knocking off his glasses) before leaving. George insisted he did not know her name. He did keep trying to tell the officers that he knew where her uncle lived. In the end, they had him ride along with them so he could point out the house. After that, I don't know what happened. I do know that a detective showed up the next day to talk to George, but that's the last I heard of it.
Patsy came to my office the other day to tell me that the glass on her oven door had broken. She said she had been using the self-cleaning cycle and when it was finished and she opened the door, the glass cracked. This might be true, or she might have just dropped a pan on the glass and didn't want to tell me. Either way, I just switched the door on her oven with the door on Alice's oven because Alice's oven is broken and is being replaced this coming week.
I have a new slave. Her name is Kayley (I'm just guessing at how to spell that). She's a sophomore in high school (meaning she is my oldest slave so far). She likes to skip school, and that is how she ended up in Restart. In fact, the Restart guy had promised me she'd be her two weeks before she ever actually showed up. She spent those two weeks switching between skipping Restart entirely and trying to trick them into thinking she was coming here.
For the moment, the pressure is off of Anna and me to reproduce. Anna's mother has her grandchild. Her name is Benita. She is four. No, Sarah did not magically birth a four year old. But Sarah is now the acting mother to a four year old. The summation of the long, complicated, and troubling story is that Benita is the niece of Jeff (Sarah's boyfriend). Benita's mother is quite literally crazy. Benita has been raised in homeless shelters in Chicago her whole life. Jeff is attempting to rescue Benita. Benita now lives with Jeff and Sarah, and Anna's mother is completely smitten with the girl. In fact, Benita is spending the night with the in-laws as I write this. She spent last weekend with Anna's parents too. Anna's mother has had a ball buying toys and clothes for her. You really have no idea how excited she is to have Benita around. Benita even calls her Grandma. She calls Hank (the dog) LadyBuns, and she knows me as Sally (we figured two uncle Geoff/Jeffs would be confusing).
Anna's father thought he might have to work last Sunday, so he asked me to fill in in the pulpit. I told the congregation that God gave the Law so that people would sin more.
Anna's birthday was also last Sunday. I let her leave the kitchen for a little bit to celebrate. She thought it was the best gift ever.
Project 86 was in the area twice last week. They were in Franklin last Wednesday and Cincinnati that Friday. The complete line-up was Disciple, Project 86, and Write This Down. I convinced Anna to come with me to the show in Franklin. She actually seemed to kind of enjoy herself, though she left with the impression that Project 86's lead singer is a jerk. Anna went bowling with some friends from work on Friday night, while I was at the Cincinnati show. I told her afterwards that she should have come to the Cincinnati show instead. The sound was much better. The crowd was more enthusiastic, and I think Andrew from Project was having a much better day. But in any case, Anna is now a veteran of a true rock show. She's hardcore. She actually took some really cool pictures during the show. I'll try to get them from her and post them on Facebook soon.
Haikus
Sara (the friend, not the resident, as per request)
Spastic Dutch girls rock
Accountants and oranges
Gangster's paradise
#102 Donna
Homemade cigarettes
Oxygen machine on high
My daughter wears sweats
Band: The Famine
Album: The Architects of Guilt
Genre: Death Metal
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
A Haiku
You want poems? I'll give you poems. How about a haiku for each resident?
#101-Velma
Police scanner on.
Hiding away from the world.
Don't slip on the ice.
#101-Velma
Police scanner on.
Hiding away from the world.
Don't slip on the ice.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
It's Jon's fault
He wanted a poem. I promised him a poem. I felt bad posting an entry without first posting the poem, but alas, I take things like poetry too seriously and haven't been able to actually spit one out. But Jon, I promised you a poem, and you will have a poem ... someday.
What have you missed? Snow. Wind. Ice.
Daisy decided she had to go out three times between 4:30 and 6:30 this morning.
Anna had to open every day this past week. She's amazing.
We managed to keep our power during the ice storm on Tuesday, but much of the area did lose electricity.
One of the kids from church participated in the solo and ensemble contest today. She had Anna accompany her. Anna says that the performance went very well.
I itch somewhere unspeakable.
I'm hungry.
I'm guessing that so far the kids from church have had at least a third of their school days cancelled for snow.
If I were to be truly honest with you, I would say that I can see what makes most pop music popular. Some songs are just catchy. But sometimes there are artists with "hits" that just baffle me. And I'm not talking about obvious ones like Justin Bieber (though it would be a lie to say that the first time I heard one of his songs I thought it was a male singer). What I really don't understand is how anyone anytime anywhere could like Kings of Leon.
Daisy keeps farting.
Katie can't figure out how to lock her patio door, so I've had to show her multiple times.
I like hot wings. Aimee, I have you to thank for that.
When I do post in this blog, I do it while listening to music. I've decided I'll start sharing with you just what it is I'm hearing while I share these bits of my soul.
Band: As They Sleep
Album: Dynasty
Style: technical death metal
Goodnight.
What have you missed? Snow. Wind. Ice.
Daisy decided she had to go out three times between 4:30 and 6:30 this morning.
Anna had to open every day this past week. She's amazing.
We managed to keep our power during the ice storm on Tuesday, but much of the area did lose electricity.
One of the kids from church participated in the solo and ensemble contest today. She had Anna accompany her. Anna says that the performance went very well.
I itch somewhere unspeakable.
I'm hungry.
I'm guessing that so far the kids from church have had at least a third of their school days cancelled for snow.
If I were to be truly honest with you, I would say that I can see what makes most pop music popular. Some songs are just catchy. But sometimes there are artists with "hits" that just baffle me. And I'm not talking about obvious ones like Justin Bieber (though it would be a lie to say that the first time I heard one of his songs I thought it was a male singer). What I really don't understand is how anyone anytime anywhere could like Kings of Leon.
Daisy keeps farting.
Katie can't figure out how to lock her patio door, so I've had to show her multiple times.
I like hot wings. Aimee, I have you to thank for that.
When I do post in this blog, I do it while listening to music. I've decided I'll start sharing with you just what it is I'm hearing while I share these bits of my soul.
Band: As They Sleep
Album: Dynasty
Style: technical death metal
Goodnight.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
They Should Be Turned In
I have a headache.
Anna gave piano lessons today because she has to work ten hours tomorrow and didn't feel like giving piano lessons after that.
Daisy shredded a bunch of stuff all over the floor in this room and all over our couch.
I took down the Christmas tree. I think there were more ornaments on the floor than left on the tree.
Jana, you have be severely neglecting your blog, and I will not stand for it (though, I might sit for it).
Today while I was in the office, I was privileged to hear Bobbie rant to Patsy for at least half an hour. The general thesis of Bobbie's argument was that this is the worst place she has ever lived, and she wants her niece to move her down to Louisville. Her supporting points were that George and Katie are disgusting, Katie slams doors at all hours, Katie can actually hear ("She can hear just fine, I tell you. Don't tell me she can't."), the apartments are owned by the Salvation Army, other residents ask her for quarters, people leave old stuff out in the Community Room for other people to take if they want it (and apparently those who take it, keep it to sell in garage sales, and "they should be turned in" for that), and Mildred's grandson eats a lot. Poor Patsy asked Bobbie how she knew it was Katie slamming doors ("Because Whatchamacallit said so"). Patsy was just waiting for a ride from her daughter. You could hear the relief in Patsy's voice as she announced to Bobbie that her daughter had arrived. As she walked out, she turned to me and mouthed "She's crazy."
Cheef. It's what's for dinner.
I had really crazy dreams the other night, but I can't remember them at the moment. I think I was shot in one of them though.
Getting shot is a relatively common theme in my dreams.
I also dream a lot about being back on the high school wrestling team.
Anna has to be at work at five tomorrow morning. I hope she doesn't die.
I want hot wings.
Did you know that the diagram of the human tongue, you all grew up with, displaying the different regions of taste is a lie? Yes, your text books lied to you. You can taste different tastes on all parts of the tongue, with some areas being more sensitive than others depending on the person.
Textbooks also lie about how wings(as in lift and flight) work.
My right ear canal itches, but I'm wearing headphones. How can I solve this quandary?
My head still hurts. I took Excedrin almost two hours ago.
My right knee itches.
Now everything itches.
Anna gave piano lessons today because she has to work ten hours tomorrow and didn't feel like giving piano lessons after that.
Daisy shredded a bunch of stuff all over the floor in this room and all over our couch.
I took down the Christmas tree. I think there were more ornaments on the floor than left on the tree.
Jana, you have be severely neglecting your blog, and I will not stand for it (though, I might sit for it).
Today while I was in the office, I was privileged to hear Bobbie rant to Patsy for at least half an hour. The general thesis of Bobbie's argument was that this is the worst place she has ever lived, and she wants her niece to move her down to Louisville. Her supporting points were that George and Katie are disgusting, Katie slams doors at all hours, Katie can actually hear ("She can hear just fine, I tell you. Don't tell me she can't."), the apartments are owned by the Salvation Army, other residents ask her for quarters, people leave old stuff out in the Community Room for other people to take if they want it (and apparently those who take it, keep it to sell in garage sales, and "they should be turned in" for that), and Mildred's grandson eats a lot. Poor Patsy asked Bobbie how she knew it was Katie slamming doors ("Because Whatchamacallit said so"). Patsy was just waiting for a ride from her daughter. You could hear the relief in Patsy's voice as she announced to Bobbie that her daughter had arrived. As she walked out, she turned to me and mouthed "She's crazy."
Cheef. It's what's for dinner.
I had really crazy dreams the other night, but I can't remember them at the moment. I think I was shot in one of them though.
Getting shot is a relatively common theme in my dreams.
I also dream a lot about being back on the high school wrestling team.
Anna has to be at work at five tomorrow morning. I hope she doesn't die.
I want hot wings.
Did you know that the diagram of the human tongue, you all grew up with, displaying the different regions of taste is a lie? Yes, your text books lied to you. You can taste different tastes on all parts of the tongue, with some areas being more sensitive than others depending on the person.
Textbooks also lie about how wings(as in lift and flight) work.
My right ear canal itches, but I'm wearing headphones. How can I solve this quandary?
My head still hurts. I took Excedrin almost two hours ago.
My right knee itches.
Now everything itches.
Monday, January 3, 2011
The Second Pick
For Christmas, I gave Anna "Just Dance 2" for Wii. Did I mention that Anna got a Wii from her mother for Christmas (though true to her families' tradition, Anna was allowed to have her present over a month ahead of time)? I think I got her other things that had to do with the Wii as well, but that was so long ago, I forget what was for Christmas and what wasn't.
She got me a good pair of headphones, and she lets me play with the Wii.
Anna's parents gave me a .50 caliber muzzle-loading rifle.
I don't have any AriZona Pomegranate Green Tea.
Yesterday, Anna volunteered us to help transport some rescue dogs to their final destination. The dogs started in Tennessee. Anna and I drove them from Columbus to Lafayette.
Tebow throws an awfully goofy looking football, but he's exciting. I'm just worried that starting Tebow next year will be premature and cost us games Orton could help win.
I hope the Broncos don't hire a huge name like Gruden or Cowher.
Dark blue and white striped boxer briefs.
Anna had to work on New Years Day, so she couldn't stay up that late on New Years Eve. She was sleeping when it hit midnight, so I just kissed her and let her sleep.
You'd think Christmas and New Years would provide more to talk about.
I resolve to break all of my resolutions.
I keep gently tapping my keyboard, hoping it will magically produce something interesting.
Screw this.
Oh yeah. Anna's dad had to work on the Sunday after Christmas, so I filled in preaching. When we woke up that morning to get ready for church, we discovered that Daisy had puked all over the apartment. And I mean all over. I looked at what she had done on the couch and thought "how can this dog have held this much puke?" Then I found all the puke on both her beds and in other random spots. So instead of getting ready for church, I cleaned up puke. When I was done, she puked all over the apartment again. She must have puked her bodyweight. I guess she overindulged on Christmas.
Now, screw this.
She got me a good pair of headphones, and she lets me play with the Wii.
Anna's parents gave me a .50 caliber muzzle-loading rifle.
I don't have any AriZona Pomegranate Green Tea.
Yesterday, Anna volunteered us to help transport some rescue dogs to their final destination. The dogs started in Tennessee. Anna and I drove them from Columbus to Lafayette.
Tebow throws an awfully goofy looking football, but he's exciting. I'm just worried that starting Tebow next year will be premature and cost us games Orton could help win.
I hope the Broncos don't hire a huge name like Gruden or Cowher.
Dark blue and white striped boxer briefs.
Anna had to work on New Years Day, so she couldn't stay up that late on New Years Eve. She was sleeping when it hit midnight, so I just kissed her and let her sleep.
You'd think Christmas and New Years would provide more to talk about.
I resolve to break all of my resolutions.
I keep gently tapping my keyboard, hoping it will magically produce something interesting.
Screw this.
Oh yeah. Anna's dad had to work on the Sunday after Christmas, so I filled in preaching. When we woke up that morning to get ready for church, we discovered that Daisy had puked all over the apartment. And I mean all over. I looked at what she had done on the couch and thought "how can this dog have held this much puke?" Then I found all the puke on both her beds and in other random spots. So instead of getting ready for church, I cleaned up puke. When I was done, she puked all over the apartment again. She must have puked her bodyweight. I guess she overindulged on Christmas.
Now, screw this.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Technical Difficulties
On Tuesday of last week, Daulton was sick. When he came in to work, he told me this. I let him go work on a puzzle in the Community Room. Five minutes later I heard him rush to the bathroom and was then treated to the sound of him vomiting for awhile.
Anna got sick at work on Wednesday, but she said she felt better after she puked. I know I often feel better after puking.
It has snowed a decent amount the past week. Schools were cancelled last Monday. Some were cancelled last Tuesday, and those that weren't had two-hour delays. Snow was cancelled again on Thursday, and if it weren't for finals, I'm sure it would have been cancelled on Friday as well. The kids at church definitely wanted the snow day on Friday. I know at least one of them was indignant that they didn't cancel school on Friday, and thus she went into school completely unprepared for the finals that awaited her.
I had to clear the sidewalks a few times.
Anna's Christmas presents arrived today.
Anna's friend Chelsey decided to have a Christmas concert/fundraiser thing that featured herself. She asked Anna to sing a couple of songs with her. It was Friday night. Anna and Chelsey actually sound very good together, but on her own, I'm tempted to hit Chelsey with a brick (it's impossible to make you understand what she does when she sings without you actually hearing her, so I won't even try). They sang Christmas songs. People were impressed (naturally).
On our way home, the window on the driver's side door got stuck half-way down. It stubbornly refused to shut. I ended up driving it out to Anna's parents so I could borrow their car while we left the Explorer in their garage.
Anna had to work Saturday until one, and at two, we had one last practice scheduled for the Christmas program. While Anna was at work, I went in search of fog machine liquid to use as an effect in the program. I figured my best bet was checking party stores. Google Maps told me there was a Party City in the outlets in Edinburgh, but it lied. I wasted quite awhile circling the building, making sure I hadn't missed it. By the time I realized Google maps had lied to me, I also realized I had an hour and a half to find fog liquid before I had to be back to pick up Anna from work. The next closest party stores were in Greenwood, which is a 40 minute drive. I floored it. Except, I was driving an thirty year old diesel BMW, and it had a horrible time trying to reach highway speed. When I reached Greenwood, I realized every person in Indiana and all of their out-of-state relatives were Christmas shopping, and the roads were insane. I finally made my way into Party City. I located the fog machines. I located the empty space above the fog machine liquid label. I looked at the clock and figured that if I headed back to Columbus at that moment, I would be on time to pick up Anna. I checked Google Maps, and it told me there was a USA Party Supply up the road a couple miles. I hopped in the car, cussed at traffic, and finally made it. Fortunately, they did have the liquid I needed. I floored it all the way back to Columbus, and I ended up getting Anna fifteen minutes late. She didn't kill me though, so that was good.
Cade kept doing jigs and yelling the songs during practice. He didn't know his lines, and he gave Anna a constant narration of his train-of-thought even while she was trying to have everyone act like it was the actually performance. We were terrified of what would happen on Sunday. (Remember, this is the same kid who threw a bell during a song at Easter)
Anna promised the kids pizza after play practice. Cade had been told by his father that he couldn't have any pizza since he was going to a party afterwards and shouldn't ruin his appetite. Anna knew this, so she didn't give Cade any pizza. Cade sat and cried. One of the other adults didn't know about the party and gave Cade some pizza. Cade was happy again. I felt bad when Cade wasn't eating pizza. I know I would have probably cried too when I was his age. Heck, I probably would have punched someone.
Sunday was the day of the program. To sum it up, everything we thought would go wrong didn't, and everything we were sure about went wrong, or I could shorten that to "technical difficulties." In the space between the first and the second songs, some of the kids were supposed to be changing while others continued to act. When the time for the second song came, I called the kids who had changed back onto the stage. During the song, I heard a noise behind me and turned to find three of the kids who were supposed to be out on stage singing telling me they hadn't realized they were supposed to be out there yet. I just had them sit still. The fog machine didn't work when the time came to use it (that was especially painful to me, considering my adventure to get the fog liquid). For one scene, we wanted to project a video depicting the manger scene. When the time came for that, I went to hit "Play" and realized someone had unplugged the projector. It took a couple minutes for the thing to heat up and be ready to play. Anna actually got to announce to the congregation that we were having technical difficulties. Perhaps the most annoying incident though was during out black-light hands performance (We had on white gloves, had the sanctuary dark, and made shapes with our hands in front of black-lights. I think it was pretty cool.) Partway through the song, the speakers started cutting in and out and crackling badly. We were using a stereo connected to the bigger sound system. Sometimes the sound would come out of the system, sometimes it would come out of half the system, sometimes it only came out of the smaller stereo speakers, and sometimes it even cut out completely. We still aren't sure what happened to cause it, but it was super distracting. The kids held it together though. Then when it was all said and done, we found out that the video camera we had purchased for the purpose of being able to record this program had quit shortly into the performance.
Technical difficulties.
Tebow didn't get killed on Sunday. I was wrong. Now they are saying he will start the last two games. At least the stands won't be empty.
I think the Broncos best bet is to trade their top five draft pick for some second round picks in the draft and build up their defense. Oh enver Broncos, you've taken the "D" out of Denver.
Sunday night was the family Christmas for Anna's mother's side. Anna's mother has something like 10 siblings (I'm really not sure), and there were at least thirty people at Anna's parent's house for this party. Anna and I tried to hide downstairs with her cousins, Scott and Rachel and play Wii. Unfortunately, Daulton showed up, along with a couple other midget relatives, so we had to pretend we would rather watch Christmas movies on TV in order to keep them from playing with the Wii. Even so, Daulton kept asking if he could play Wii.
Toward the end of the evening, everyone was forced together for a family picture. When it was done, Daulton kept saying that he wanted "a photo of that picture." He, honest to goodness, used that exact phrase multiple times. I told Anna and Rachel, I would like to make sure he does get a photo of that picture. I'll just make sure it's taken from far far away.
A little girl kept following Daulton around and calling him Justin Bieber. This was hilarious. But you know, if you put freckles on Justin Bieber and gave her darker hair, she might look an awful lot like Daulton. Poor Daulton, as a pre-pubescent boy, he looks like a pre-pubescent girl.
Yesterday morning, I took Anna to work and then picked up the Explorer and took it into the shop. The shop is a mile from our apartment, so I figured I'd just walk back after I dropped off the car, but when one of the employees at the shop saw me walking they hopped in a car and offered to drive me. When the car was finished though, I didn't have someone to take to get it, so I walked. This would be fine normally, except it turns out I had to walk the majority of the way through very dense snow that was beginning to crust over. I definitely rolled my ankle a little. And my shoes, which were finally starting to dry out from clearing all the snow last week, are still wet as I write this. But the window is no longer stuck.
Daulton's last day was today. It is now Christmas break of the kids. Maybe this time Daulton will stay out of trouble, and I won't ever have to see him again. Except I'll probably have to see him on Christmas day when we go to Anna's grandmother's (the nice one) Christmas party. And then of course, I'll have to see him next Christmas as well. That is providing he doesn't actually end up in jail by that time.
Now that I think about it, I think we do have some wrapping paper here. This means I can wrap Anna's present without having to worry about sneaking it over to her parent's without her seeing it.
People who read this blog: Jana
You all knew Jana read this blog, but this time she is doing it from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. This is exciting because it adds another country to those that have visited this blog. Have fun riding elephants and eating monkey brains, Jana.
Happy Kwanzaa, everyone.
Anna got sick at work on Wednesday, but she said she felt better after she puked. I know I often feel better after puking.
It has snowed a decent amount the past week. Schools were cancelled last Monday. Some were cancelled last Tuesday, and those that weren't had two-hour delays. Snow was cancelled again on Thursday, and if it weren't for finals, I'm sure it would have been cancelled on Friday as well. The kids at church definitely wanted the snow day on Friday. I know at least one of them was indignant that they didn't cancel school on Friday, and thus she went into school completely unprepared for the finals that awaited her.
I had to clear the sidewalks a few times.
Anna's Christmas presents arrived today.
Anna's friend Chelsey decided to have a Christmas concert/fundraiser thing that featured herself. She asked Anna to sing a couple of songs with her. It was Friday night. Anna and Chelsey actually sound very good together, but on her own, I'm tempted to hit Chelsey with a brick (it's impossible to make you understand what she does when she sings without you actually hearing her, so I won't even try). They sang Christmas songs. People were impressed (naturally).
On our way home, the window on the driver's side door got stuck half-way down. It stubbornly refused to shut. I ended up driving it out to Anna's parents so I could borrow their car while we left the Explorer in their garage.
Anna had to work Saturday until one, and at two, we had one last practice scheduled for the Christmas program. While Anna was at work, I went in search of fog machine liquid to use as an effect in the program. I figured my best bet was checking party stores. Google Maps told me there was a Party City in the outlets in Edinburgh, but it lied. I wasted quite awhile circling the building, making sure I hadn't missed it. By the time I realized Google maps had lied to me, I also realized I had an hour and a half to find fog liquid before I had to be back to pick up Anna from work. The next closest party stores were in Greenwood, which is a 40 minute drive. I floored it. Except, I was driving an thirty year old diesel BMW, and it had a horrible time trying to reach highway speed. When I reached Greenwood, I realized every person in Indiana and all of their out-of-state relatives were Christmas shopping, and the roads were insane. I finally made my way into Party City. I located the fog machines. I located the empty space above the fog machine liquid label. I looked at the clock and figured that if I headed back to Columbus at that moment, I would be on time to pick up Anna. I checked Google Maps, and it told me there was a USA Party Supply up the road a couple miles. I hopped in the car, cussed at traffic, and finally made it. Fortunately, they did have the liquid I needed. I floored it all the way back to Columbus, and I ended up getting Anna fifteen minutes late. She didn't kill me though, so that was good.
Cade kept doing jigs and yelling the songs during practice. He didn't know his lines, and he gave Anna a constant narration of his train-of-thought even while she was trying to have everyone act like it was the actually performance. We were terrified of what would happen on Sunday. (Remember, this is the same kid who threw a bell during a song at Easter)
Anna promised the kids pizza after play practice. Cade had been told by his father that he couldn't have any pizza since he was going to a party afterwards and shouldn't ruin his appetite. Anna knew this, so she didn't give Cade any pizza. Cade sat and cried. One of the other adults didn't know about the party and gave Cade some pizza. Cade was happy again. I felt bad when Cade wasn't eating pizza. I know I would have probably cried too when I was his age. Heck, I probably would have punched someone.
Sunday was the day of the program. To sum it up, everything we thought would go wrong didn't, and everything we were sure about went wrong, or I could shorten that to "technical difficulties." In the space between the first and the second songs, some of the kids were supposed to be changing while others continued to act. When the time for the second song came, I called the kids who had changed back onto the stage. During the song, I heard a noise behind me and turned to find three of the kids who were supposed to be out on stage singing telling me they hadn't realized they were supposed to be out there yet. I just had them sit still. The fog machine didn't work when the time came to use it (that was especially painful to me, considering my adventure to get the fog liquid). For one scene, we wanted to project a video depicting the manger scene. When the time came for that, I went to hit "Play" and realized someone had unplugged the projector. It took a couple minutes for the thing to heat up and be ready to play. Anna actually got to announce to the congregation that we were having technical difficulties. Perhaps the most annoying incident though was during out black-light hands performance (We had on white gloves, had the sanctuary dark, and made shapes with our hands in front of black-lights. I think it was pretty cool.) Partway through the song, the speakers started cutting in and out and crackling badly. We were using a stereo connected to the bigger sound system. Sometimes the sound would come out of the system, sometimes it would come out of half the system, sometimes it only came out of the smaller stereo speakers, and sometimes it even cut out completely. We still aren't sure what happened to cause it, but it was super distracting. The kids held it together though. Then when it was all said and done, we found out that the video camera we had purchased for the purpose of being able to record this program had quit shortly into the performance.
Technical difficulties.
Tebow didn't get killed on Sunday. I was wrong. Now they are saying he will start the last two games. At least the stands won't be empty.
I think the Broncos best bet is to trade their top five draft pick for some second round picks in the draft and build up their defense. Oh enver Broncos, you've taken the "D" out of Denver.
Sunday night was the family Christmas for Anna's mother's side. Anna's mother has something like 10 siblings (I'm really not sure), and there were at least thirty people at Anna's parent's house for this party. Anna and I tried to hide downstairs with her cousins, Scott and Rachel and play Wii. Unfortunately, Daulton showed up, along with a couple other midget relatives, so we had to pretend we would rather watch Christmas movies on TV in order to keep them from playing with the Wii. Even so, Daulton kept asking if he could play Wii.
Toward the end of the evening, everyone was forced together for a family picture. When it was done, Daulton kept saying that he wanted "a photo of that picture." He, honest to goodness, used that exact phrase multiple times. I told Anna and Rachel, I would like to make sure he does get a photo of that picture. I'll just make sure it's taken from far far away.
A little girl kept following Daulton around and calling him Justin Bieber. This was hilarious. But you know, if you put freckles on Justin Bieber and gave her darker hair, she might look an awful lot like Daulton. Poor Daulton, as a pre-pubescent boy, he looks like a pre-pubescent girl.
Yesterday morning, I took Anna to work and then picked up the Explorer and took it into the shop. The shop is a mile from our apartment, so I figured I'd just walk back after I dropped off the car, but when one of the employees at the shop saw me walking they hopped in a car and offered to drive me. When the car was finished though, I didn't have someone to take to get it, so I walked. This would be fine normally, except it turns out I had to walk the majority of the way through very dense snow that was beginning to crust over. I definitely rolled my ankle a little. And my shoes, which were finally starting to dry out from clearing all the snow last week, are still wet as I write this. But the window is no longer stuck.
Daulton's last day was today. It is now Christmas break of the kids. Maybe this time Daulton will stay out of trouble, and I won't ever have to see him again. Except I'll probably have to see him on Christmas day when we go to Anna's grandmother's (the nice one) Christmas party. And then of course, I'll have to see him next Christmas as well. That is providing he doesn't actually end up in jail by that time.
Now that I think about it, I think we do have some wrapping paper here. This means I can wrap Anna's present without having to worry about sneaking it over to her parent's without her seeing it.
People who read this blog: Jana
You all knew Jana read this blog, but this time she is doing it from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. This is exciting because it adds another country to those that have visited this blog. Have fun riding elephants and eating monkey brains, Jana.
Happy Kwanzaa, everyone.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Daulton Again
Daulton is 16. He still hasn't hit puberty. In fact, he still talks with that hard to understand little kid voice that most five year olds have. Sometimes I really do struggle to figure out what he's saying.
I was checking the mailbox last Tuesday before I opened up the office, and I glanced out into the parking lot. A small child was exiting a car. I was confused. Why wasn't this small child in school. This small child approached. Yeah, you know who it was.
I'm pretty sure the first thing out of Daulton's mouth was "Are you mad at me, Geoff? Are you mad at me for getting in trouble again? It wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything." But of course, it might also have been, "I murdered several people and have been trafficking drugs for the Mafia." I couldn't really say.
As near as I can tell, this is Daulton's explanation for how he ended up back with me (I can't be positive about all of this because I was serious about him talking like a five year old kid). According to Daulton, it all started at a party. Apparently Daulton is cool enough and mature enough to hang out at parties with people his age. But he promised me there were no drugs or alcohol at this party. So Daulton and the other party-goers were minding their own business when a couple of punks showed up with guns and such and crashed the party. Daulton, of course, ran for his life. These punks decided he was a good target, so they hit him with a car. This car then caused enough damage that Daulton was hospitalized and prescribed hydrocodone for his pain. When Daulton went back to school something (he won't tell me what, he says he doesn't remember) made him so angry that the hydrocodone interacted with his ADHD medication , and he passed out. (This is the part that is especially unclear to me) I think he implied that he did some crazy stuff before he passed out, but again, he says he doesn't remember. In any case, he claims he woke up in the hospital and was informed that he was kicked out of school again.
As for Macy, I hadn't seen her for a week prior to Daulton showing up. If I had to guess, I would say that she quit coming to school altogether, was officially dumped from the program, and is now spending a month in juvenile detention.
Anna's sick.
Church was snowed out last night. This cost us one of our last practices before the children's Christmas program. I think they'll be alright though. They've worked hard.
George and Katie receive "meals-on-wheels" dinners. There's a cycle of at least five different people who deliver these meals. One particular lady is always accompanied by a young man with obvious mental and physical issues. From the little contact I've had with him, I would guess he has the mental competency of a toddler. He can talk, but it's never more than a repeated "hi" like you would get from a friendly four year old. On Wednesday, they were here to deliver meals. After they left, Daulton tells me "Hey Geoff, that guy just called me an "n" word. I should have punched him in his face, shouldn't I?" I tried to tell Daulton that I doubted that guy said any such thing and that he was mentally challenged. Daulton insisted that he should still have punched the guy in the face. I tried to convince him that he just misunderstood the guy, but I don't think Daulton bought it.
An old friend of Anna's parents, who attends church with us, invited Anna, her parents, and me over for dinner on Friday night. I'm pretty sure it's a Christmas tradition that she and Anna's parents have dinner together, and now that we live in the area, Anna and I are involved in the tradition too. It was nice. She had some homemade jelly. I ate way too many biscuits.
It snowed a few inches yesterday. There really wasn't that much snow, but it drifted badly. I couldn't open the porch door to take Daisy outside.
Anna's supposed to work in the morning. I don't know if she's going to be well enough to go. Unfortunately, she's supposed to call in two hours in advance if she's going to miss work. Thus, I think she's going to wake up at 5 a.m. tomorrow to see how she feels. No one feels well at 5 a.m.
Someone take this box of Mike and Ike's away from me.
I bought Anna some pseudoephedrine yesterday. As I'm sure you know, you have to sell your soul to the devil to be able to purchase the stuff. It always makes me feel like a criminal when they ask to see my driver's license in order to buy something.
I'm not looking forward to the Broncos' rebuilding process. This isn't going to be pretty.
McDaniels took a team that hadn't gone worse than 7-9 (except for the year following Elway's retirement) since 1990 and turned it into one of the worst in the NFL. Right now, I contend that they are the worst team in the NFL. I think the Panthers would beat us like a redheaded step-child. We won't win another game this year. Poor Studesville. This isn't his fault. He never had a chance.
It is times like these when I am grateful that there is hope to be found in the Rockies.
I was checking the mailbox last Tuesday before I opened up the office, and I glanced out into the parking lot. A small child was exiting a car. I was confused. Why wasn't this small child in school. This small child approached. Yeah, you know who it was.
I'm pretty sure the first thing out of Daulton's mouth was "Are you mad at me, Geoff? Are you mad at me for getting in trouble again? It wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything." But of course, it might also have been, "I murdered several people and have been trafficking drugs for the Mafia." I couldn't really say.
As near as I can tell, this is Daulton's explanation for how he ended up back with me (I can't be positive about all of this because I was serious about him talking like a five year old kid). According to Daulton, it all started at a party. Apparently Daulton is cool enough and mature enough to hang out at parties with people his age. But he promised me there were no drugs or alcohol at this party. So Daulton and the other party-goers were minding their own business when a couple of punks showed up with guns and such and crashed the party. Daulton, of course, ran for his life. These punks decided he was a good target, so they hit him with a car. This car then caused enough damage that Daulton was hospitalized and prescribed hydrocodone for his pain. When Daulton went back to school something (he won't tell me what, he says he doesn't remember) made him so angry that the hydrocodone interacted with his ADHD medication , and he passed out. (This is the part that is especially unclear to me) I think he implied that he did some crazy stuff before he passed out, but again, he says he doesn't remember. In any case, he claims he woke up in the hospital and was informed that he was kicked out of school again.
As for Macy, I hadn't seen her for a week prior to Daulton showing up. If I had to guess, I would say that she quit coming to school altogether, was officially dumped from the program, and is now spending a month in juvenile detention.
Anna's sick.
Church was snowed out last night. This cost us one of our last practices before the children's Christmas program. I think they'll be alright though. They've worked hard.
George and Katie receive "meals-on-wheels" dinners. There's a cycle of at least five different people who deliver these meals. One particular lady is always accompanied by a young man with obvious mental and physical issues. From the little contact I've had with him, I would guess he has the mental competency of a toddler. He can talk, but it's never more than a repeated "hi" like you would get from a friendly four year old. On Wednesday, they were here to deliver meals. After they left, Daulton tells me "Hey Geoff, that guy just called me an "n" word. I should have punched him in his face, shouldn't I?" I tried to tell Daulton that I doubted that guy said any such thing and that he was mentally challenged. Daulton insisted that he should still have punched the guy in the face. I tried to convince him that he just misunderstood the guy, but I don't think Daulton bought it.
An old friend of Anna's parents, who attends church with us, invited Anna, her parents, and me over for dinner on Friday night. I'm pretty sure it's a Christmas tradition that she and Anna's parents have dinner together, and now that we live in the area, Anna and I are involved in the tradition too. It was nice. She had some homemade jelly. I ate way too many biscuits.
It snowed a few inches yesterday. There really wasn't that much snow, but it drifted badly. I couldn't open the porch door to take Daisy outside.
Anna's supposed to work in the morning. I don't know if she's going to be well enough to go. Unfortunately, she's supposed to call in two hours in advance if she's going to miss work. Thus, I think she's going to wake up at 5 a.m. tomorrow to see how she feels. No one feels well at 5 a.m.
Someone take this box of Mike and Ike's away from me.
I bought Anna some pseudoephedrine yesterday. As I'm sure you know, you have to sell your soul to the devil to be able to purchase the stuff. It always makes me feel like a criminal when they ask to see my driver's license in order to buy something.
I'm not looking forward to the Broncos' rebuilding process. This isn't going to be pretty.
McDaniels took a team that hadn't gone worse than 7-9 (except for the year following Elway's retirement) since 1990 and turned it into one of the worst in the NFL. Right now, I contend that they are the worst team in the NFL. I think the Panthers would beat us like a redheaded step-child. We won't win another game this year. Poor Studesville. This isn't his fault. He never had a chance.
It is times like these when I am grateful that there is hope to be found in the Rockies.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
I'm Conflicted
Jon, I dedicate this post to you. Your griping has given me the motivation to do this.
The Broncos just fired the best coach they ever had. I can't believe they would let a gem like McDaniels get away.
I fixed most of Thanksgiving dinner. I made the turkey. I made the dressing. I made the potatoes. I made the gravy. I made an asiago strata. No one dead. It was a minor miracle.
I was shooting to have everything ready to eat at 1 p.m. At 12:45 I was on schedule but then my phone rang. Bobbie had locked herself out. Anna and her mom volunteered to go let Bobbie in so I could finish the cooking. That was very kind of them. They will be sainted by the Catholic church for their goodness. I wanted to murder Bobbie. I am not kind. I might have throttled her if I had gone to let her in. Her carelessness delayed our Thanksgiving dinner by over half an hour. There is a special place in Hell for people who delay Thanksgiving dinner.
Anna had to work at 6 a.m. on one of the week days following Thanksgiving. At three that morning, the emergency pull cord alarm started going off. I bolted out of bed, threw some clothes on, grabbed my keys, and rushed into the hallway. In the hallway, I found Beulah standing outside of her apartment and the emergency light blinking over her door. So had she set her bed on fire? Had she just subdued a cat-burglar? Had her cable stopped working? No. She "heard" Katie fall out of bed (Beulah lives in the apartment next to Katie). Like heck she heard Katie fall out of bed. Beulah is nearly as deaf as Katie. Beulah can't hear it if you bang on her door. And of course, Katie can't hear it if you knock on her door. So there was no way of actually verifying that Katie was alright without entering her apartment at three in the morning to see if she was in bed or not. Apparently Beulah had been trying to knock on Katie's door, and obviously, the best thing to do when she didn't get a response was to pull her own emergency alarm to wake me up. So I stood there at three in the morning wondering how on earth to make Beulah go to bed and turn the stupid alarm off. I knew the Katie had her own emergency pull cord. I also knew that Katie wears a "help! I've fallen, and I can't get up" alarm around her neck. If she fell out of bed and couldn't get up, she'd be able to use those herself. If she fell out of bed and was dead, well, then she was dead. There was no reason for me to go into her apartment to check on her, even if Beulah thought she heard something. This was my solution: I walked outside, waited a second, came back in and informed Beulah that I could see nothing wrong through Katie's windows and told her to go to bed and shut off the freaking alarm.
I can't tell of all these people are getting crazier all at once or if I am just getting really sick of them.
Bobbie regularly just walks into other people's apartments.
The other day she was walking around the building for at least an hour, muttering about how she'd be ashamed to live in such filth (referring to Katie and George and Alice and who knows who else she thinks is filthy).
I quoted this on Facebook, but it's worth repeating. The other day, Bobbie came into the office and was talking to me about who knows what. In middle of the conversation, she announced that "Columbus wants to name that school over there (there's an elementary a block away) after me. I've worked my whole life. Dr. Shed says there's nothing wrong with my mind. I'm just stressed."
I keep listening to this new song "Waiting for the End" by Linkin Park, on repeat. I'm not a big Linkin Park fan, but this might be the best thing I've heard out of mainstream music in.....ever.
We keep practicing for the Christmas program. Sometimes I'm afraid Anna's head will explode from stress.
Gray.
I put up the Christmas tree the other day. Chief promptly made it look like poop. I'm not sure if it's even worth trying to put the ornaments back on it that he's torn off. Maybe if he knocks more than half of them off, I will put half of the ones he has knocked off back on. If I keep doing that, I can at least make sure there is always one ornament on the tree.
My ear itches.
The furnace for the common areas of the building is broken. It's rather chilly on the hallway.
I guess this is the point where I talk about what you really want to know. Just what is my reaction to the Donkeys firing McDummy (I know that's lame, but the better ones are also filled with expletives)?
There are pros and cons to this move. The biggest pro to me is that McDaniels can't do anymore personnel damage. He won't be able to jack up another draft, and he won't be able to trade away talent for people who will ride the bench. This also is a sign that the Denver ownership honestly does care that the Broncos club at least appears to have integrity. There's a reason the Patriots are thought of as an evil empire. This was one of my biggest reasons for not wanting McDaniels hired in the first place, and I am glad that it was a factor in his removal. This will also mean that McDaniels won't be poking around in the defense anymore. He took an above average defense last year and turned it epically bad by deciding the defensive coordinator was too competent (or something). Hopefully, this will also teach ownership a lesson and prevent them from giving the power of the general manager to the head coach.
There are other pros, but those are the major ones. Unfortunately there are also cons.
Instead of McDaniels getting a chance to prove himself in a third year, we are going to have to watch another coach rebuild the team that he decimated. Remember, McDaniels was supposed to be an instant success. The Broncos were supposed to be a playoff team last year. Except that instead of sticking with the team he was handed, McDaniels shipped out nearly 80% of that roster in the past two years. Now we have one of the worst teams in football, and it's much harder to bring in talent than it is to ship it out. And even when we do get the talent in, it is going to take time for it all to gel. Also, what happens to Tebow? What happens to Orton? What happens to Quinn? Is Tebow going to get a fair chance with another coach? But it's possible that they might just play Tebow to put butts in the seats. If that's the case, will Orton get shoved aside for someone who isn't ready to play?
The bottom line is that I am glad McDaniels is gone. I think that it's the right move. I don't care that the Broncos have to pay three coaches next year. I'm just not looking forward to the rebuilding process that the Broncos have coming.
I would like to point out something I said last year before the season even started. I wondered then, and I am almost certain now that McDaniels was just a plant by Belichick to destroy an opponent from the inside out. That seems to be the common thread to all the coaches that have emerged from his coaching tree.
So yeah, that's it.
Oh, and Daulton is back.
The Broncos just fired the best coach they ever had. I can't believe they would let a gem like McDaniels get away.
I fixed most of Thanksgiving dinner. I made the turkey. I made the dressing. I made the potatoes. I made the gravy. I made an asiago strata. No one dead. It was a minor miracle.
I was shooting to have everything ready to eat at 1 p.m. At 12:45 I was on schedule but then my phone rang. Bobbie had locked herself out. Anna and her mom volunteered to go let Bobbie in so I could finish the cooking. That was very kind of them. They will be sainted by the Catholic church for their goodness. I wanted to murder Bobbie. I am not kind. I might have throttled her if I had gone to let her in. Her carelessness delayed our Thanksgiving dinner by over half an hour. There is a special place in Hell for people who delay Thanksgiving dinner.
Anna had to work at 6 a.m. on one of the week days following Thanksgiving. At three that morning, the emergency pull cord alarm started going off. I bolted out of bed, threw some clothes on, grabbed my keys, and rushed into the hallway. In the hallway, I found Beulah standing outside of her apartment and the emergency light blinking over her door. So had she set her bed on fire? Had she just subdued a cat-burglar? Had her cable stopped working? No. She "heard" Katie fall out of bed (Beulah lives in the apartment next to Katie). Like heck she heard Katie fall out of bed. Beulah is nearly as deaf as Katie. Beulah can't hear it if you bang on her door. And of course, Katie can't hear it if you knock on her door. So there was no way of actually verifying that Katie was alright without entering her apartment at three in the morning to see if she was in bed or not. Apparently Beulah had been trying to knock on Katie's door, and obviously, the best thing to do when she didn't get a response was to pull her own emergency alarm to wake me up. So I stood there at three in the morning wondering how on earth to make Beulah go to bed and turn the stupid alarm off. I knew the Katie had her own emergency pull cord. I also knew that Katie wears a "help! I've fallen, and I can't get up" alarm around her neck. If she fell out of bed and couldn't get up, she'd be able to use those herself. If she fell out of bed and was dead, well, then she was dead. There was no reason for me to go into her apartment to check on her, even if Beulah thought she heard something. This was my solution: I walked outside, waited a second, came back in and informed Beulah that I could see nothing wrong through Katie's windows and told her to go to bed and shut off the freaking alarm.
I can't tell of all these people are getting crazier all at once or if I am just getting really sick of them.
Bobbie regularly just walks into other people's apartments.
The other day she was walking around the building for at least an hour, muttering about how she'd be ashamed to live in such filth (referring to Katie and George and Alice and who knows who else she thinks is filthy).
I quoted this on Facebook, but it's worth repeating. The other day, Bobbie came into the office and was talking to me about who knows what. In middle of the conversation, she announced that "Columbus wants to name that school over there (there's an elementary a block away) after me. I've worked my whole life. Dr. Shed says there's nothing wrong with my mind. I'm just stressed."
I keep listening to this new song "Waiting for the End" by Linkin Park, on repeat. I'm not a big Linkin Park fan, but this might be the best thing I've heard out of mainstream music in.....ever.
We keep practicing for the Christmas program. Sometimes I'm afraid Anna's head will explode from stress.
Gray.
I put up the Christmas tree the other day. Chief promptly made it look like poop. I'm not sure if it's even worth trying to put the ornaments back on it that he's torn off. Maybe if he knocks more than half of them off, I will put half of the ones he has knocked off back on. If I keep doing that, I can at least make sure there is always one ornament on the tree.
My ear itches.
The furnace for the common areas of the building is broken. It's rather chilly on the hallway.
I guess this is the point where I talk about what you really want to know. Just what is my reaction to the Donkeys firing McDummy (I know that's lame, but the better ones are also filled with expletives)?
There are pros and cons to this move. The biggest pro to me is that McDaniels can't do anymore personnel damage. He won't be able to jack up another draft, and he won't be able to trade away talent for people who will ride the bench. This also is a sign that the Denver ownership honestly does care that the Broncos club at least appears to have integrity. There's a reason the Patriots are thought of as an evil empire. This was one of my biggest reasons for not wanting McDaniels hired in the first place, and I am glad that it was a factor in his removal. This will also mean that McDaniels won't be poking around in the defense anymore. He took an above average defense last year and turned it epically bad by deciding the defensive coordinator was too competent (or something). Hopefully, this will also teach ownership a lesson and prevent them from giving the power of the general manager to the head coach.
There are other pros, but those are the major ones. Unfortunately there are also cons.
Instead of McDaniels getting a chance to prove himself in a third year, we are going to have to watch another coach rebuild the team that he decimated. Remember, McDaniels was supposed to be an instant success. The Broncos were supposed to be a playoff team last year. Except that instead of sticking with the team he was handed, McDaniels shipped out nearly 80% of that roster in the past two years. Now we have one of the worst teams in football, and it's much harder to bring in talent than it is to ship it out. And even when we do get the talent in, it is going to take time for it all to gel. Also, what happens to Tebow? What happens to Orton? What happens to Quinn? Is Tebow going to get a fair chance with another coach? But it's possible that they might just play Tebow to put butts in the seats. If that's the case, will Orton get shoved aside for someone who isn't ready to play?
The bottom line is that I am glad McDaniels is gone. I think that it's the right move. I don't care that the Broncos have to pay three coaches next year. I'm just not looking forward to the rebuilding process that the Broncos have coming.
I would like to point out something I said last year before the season even started. I wondered then, and I am almost certain now that McDaniels was just a plant by Belichick to destroy an opponent from the inside out. That seems to be the common thread to all the coaches that have emerged from his coaching tree.
So yeah, that's it.
Oh, and Daulton is back.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Out of Order
Anna and I were jolted out of sleep at about 6 a.m. on Tuesday morning by the sound of frantic violent knocking on our door. I scrambled for some clothes and rushed to the door. I glanced through the peephole and saw nothing, so I opened the door and stepped into the hall. I still saw nothing. I started to check down the other hall when I heard the same knocking, this time on someone else's door. It was George. He was beating on Pat's door with his cane. I asked him what was wrong. He needed a quarter. I was ready to commit murder. I did give George a quarter because I did not want George to keep going down the hallway banging on people's doors with his cane.
One of our dryers is broken. I have it clearly labeled as "Out of Order." But apparently having a sign posted on a dryer over-top the coin slot and control panel isn't enough to tell an illiterate person you might not want to use this dryer. Apparently it's also not enough of a clue that the dryer's display lights are not on. You know how I know this? George needed a quarter because Katie put all of her quarters into the broken dryer. I was ready to commit double homicide.
One of the washing machines has been leaking onto the laundry room floor. I had the repairman out today to fix it. When we entered the laundry room, we discovered George and Katie in there up to their old tricks. And what do you know? Katie put all of her quarters into the still broken dryer. I was regretting not committing those murders.
Macy faked illness on Monday and Thursday to get out of going to Restart. I was talking to Anna about her, and how much she depresses me. I don't see how she has any hope for a decent life. I cannot imagine she actually graduates high school. I can't even picture her making it out of her freshman year. How can people have the ability to make such life changing decisions before they understand the consequences?
UnderOath just released a new album. I was never really a huge fan of them, but I think I really like this new album. Dispensing with their drummer/clean vocalist has done them a world of good.
I'm thirsty. I have a bunch of AriZona Pomegranate Green Tea in the car. I don't have it sitting in a gold plated person refrigerator next to my computer. My life is fail.
When I do get ridiculously wealthy, Jana I am going to buy your soul and make you my slave. That way you can spend the rest of your life in misery under my capitalist pig reign.
Daisy smells like a swamp monster's anal glands.
We got a new bookshelf. It is located conveniently so that it makes a good place to drop off any mail or bills that we get and need to keep within easy reach. Unfortunately, Howie decided this bookshelf makes a good perch. He now intentionally shoves everything off the top so that he can lay down comfortably.
Anna works too hard. Someone should give her a billion dollars so that she can retire.
Bobbie told me today that Alice shoved her and shook her. I don't know if this is true or not. If it is true then Bobbie deserved it.
Goodnight people. Hugs not drugs.
One of our dryers is broken. I have it clearly labeled as "Out of Order." But apparently having a sign posted on a dryer over-top the coin slot and control panel isn't enough to tell an illiterate person you might not want to use this dryer. Apparently it's also not enough of a clue that the dryer's display lights are not on. You know how I know this? George needed a quarter because Katie put all of her quarters into the broken dryer. I was ready to commit double homicide.
One of the washing machines has been leaking onto the laundry room floor. I had the repairman out today to fix it. When we entered the laundry room, we discovered George and Katie in there up to their old tricks. And what do you know? Katie put all of her quarters into the still broken dryer. I was regretting not committing those murders.
Macy faked illness on Monday and Thursday to get out of going to Restart. I was talking to Anna about her, and how much she depresses me. I don't see how she has any hope for a decent life. I cannot imagine she actually graduates high school. I can't even picture her making it out of her freshman year. How can people have the ability to make such life changing decisions before they understand the consequences?
UnderOath just released a new album. I was never really a huge fan of them, but I think I really like this new album. Dispensing with their drummer/clean vocalist has done them a world of good.
I'm thirsty. I have a bunch of AriZona Pomegranate Green Tea in the car. I don't have it sitting in a gold plated person refrigerator next to my computer. My life is fail.
When I do get ridiculously wealthy, Jana I am going to buy your soul and make you my slave. That way you can spend the rest of your life in misery under my capitalist pig reign.
Daisy smells like a swamp monster's anal glands.
We got a new bookshelf. It is located conveniently so that it makes a good place to drop off any mail or bills that we get and need to keep within easy reach. Unfortunately, Howie decided this bookshelf makes a good perch. He now intentionally shoves everything off the top so that he can lay down comfortably.
Anna works too hard. Someone should give her a billion dollars so that she can retire.
Bobbie told me today that Alice shoved her and shook her. I don't know if this is true or not. If it is true then Bobbie deserved it.
Goodnight people. Hugs not drugs.
Monday, November 1, 2010
John had a girlfriend
Last week apparently, the police pulled a dead body out of a shack across the street. Anna and I were on our way out to the car when we ran into Mike. He informed us of this. When we walked outside, sure enough, there were a bunch of cops surrounding a shack across the street with a bunch of onlookers. According to Mike, the person had been dead for several days.
Macy quit Restart on Wednesday. Don't worry. Her probation officer intervened, and she was back on Thursday. According to Macy, she just got sick of the whole school thing on Wednesday and decided the best course of action was to simply walk out of the program. I guess her probation officer managed to convince her that three hours at restart for another month and a half was better than juvenile detention for a month, with no chance to ever go back to school again.
We gave Daisy a bath the other day, but she stinks again.
I'm out of AriZona Pomegranate Green Tea again. No one has ever suffered more.
On Thursday, John came in to the office with a woman I hadn't seen before. She announced that she was his girlfriend and that she wanted to move in with him. I told her that I would have to contact my boss about it since I didn't know if non-relations could be added to a lease. She then spent fifteen minutes acting like it was up to me and repeating these phrases: "I'm a trustworthy person" "Me and John are in love" "I will always pay my rent on time" "We're going to get married." It didn't matter how many times I told her that it was not up to me. She wouldn't shut up. I assured her I would contact my boss right away, and I would tell her what my boss had to say about the situation. Finally, they left. Except, they came back again later that day. This time she wanted to know what exactly I said in my email to my boss. I told her. I was then treated to fifteen more minutes of her repeating the same phrases as before.
On Friday, I was treated to the same thing. It was worse though because I had to start explaining that I really had not heard from my boss yet, and that it really wasn't up to me. So she added another phrase to her repertoire: "I understand that." The problem with that phrase is that it was always followed by a "but." And I got to hear fifteen more minutes of about how she and John will get married and how she will pay her rent. Once she repeated herself enough, she decided she would also inform me that John had no hot water. I went with them to check. I turned on the kitchen sink. It was plenty hot. I had her feel it. She told me it was lukewarm. I turned on the shower. It was plenty hot. She told me it was lukewarm. She asked if I could turn up the water heater. I explained that there were only two water heaters for the whole building, and if I turned them up any higher, I'd risk the old people burning themselves. She looked at me like I was crazy. I just wanted to grab her head and scream "I'm sorry that you think the waters cold, but if I turn it up any higher, you will melt!"
Today, they did not come to the office, but I learned this was simply because they were not on the premises. I was loading dishes into the community dishwasher when they came in. You know what happened next. When she finally shut up, I went back to the apartment. Then comes a knock on the door. There she is again, laughing at my misery. Well maybe she wasn't laughing, but she was telling me that they had locked themselves out of John's bathroom. So I got to listen to her whole spiel while I manipulated the lock with a tiny screwdriver. This time I was treated to another new phrase: "we can't let this happen again."
Tonight, Anna and I pulled up to the apartment. As soon as we stepped out of the car, John opened up his door and tells me, "Don't worry about her anymore. We got into it over my kids. She was talking down about them, so I told her to get the Hell out." I assured him that I was sorry to hear that. But I couldn't help laughing a little as Anna and I walked away.
We held a Reformation Day party on Saturday for the church kids. We helped them carve pumpkins (which really meant that I ended up carving most of the pumpkins), we fed them lots of candy, and we went on a hayride. My butt may never be the same after that hayride. There wasn't room in the hay-cart, so Anna and I sat in the bed of the pickup. I couldn't feel my man-bits.
Yes, in case you were wondering, I have been doing some deer hunting. No, I haven't killed anything. I've passed up a few shots on does. I actually would have shot two of them, except there was an even bigger doe behind them, but she winded me before I got a shot at her. On Saturday morning, I did see a rather nice buck, but he chose not to actually walk by my stand.
I should shower.
My butt is still seriously sore.
Sky blue boxer-briefs with black and white horizontal stripes.
It's bedtime. Anna has to get up early to continue her national chain of bakery/cafe restaurants training.
Macy quit Restart on Wednesday. Don't worry. Her probation officer intervened, and she was back on Thursday. According to Macy, she just got sick of the whole school thing on Wednesday and decided the best course of action was to simply walk out of the program. I guess her probation officer managed to convince her that three hours at restart for another month and a half was better than juvenile detention for a month, with no chance to ever go back to school again.
We gave Daisy a bath the other day, but she stinks again.
I'm out of AriZona Pomegranate Green Tea again. No one has ever suffered more.
On Thursday, John came in to the office with a woman I hadn't seen before. She announced that she was his girlfriend and that she wanted to move in with him. I told her that I would have to contact my boss about it since I didn't know if non-relations could be added to a lease. She then spent fifteen minutes acting like it was up to me and repeating these phrases: "I'm a trustworthy person" "Me and John are in love" "I will always pay my rent on time" "We're going to get married." It didn't matter how many times I told her that it was not up to me. She wouldn't shut up. I assured her I would contact my boss right away, and I would tell her what my boss had to say about the situation. Finally, they left. Except, they came back again later that day. This time she wanted to know what exactly I said in my email to my boss. I told her. I was then treated to fifteen more minutes of her repeating the same phrases as before.
On Friday, I was treated to the same thing. It was worse though because I had to start explaining that I really had not heard from my boss yet, and that it really wasn't up to me. So she added another phrase to her repertoire: "I understand that." The problem with that phrase is that it was always followed by a "but." And I got to hear fifteen more minutes of about how she and John will get married and how she will pay her rent. Once she repeated herself enough, she decided she would also inform me that John had no hot water. I went with them to check. I turned on the kitchen sink. It was plenty hot. I had her feel it. She told me it was lukewarm. I turned on the shower. It was plenty hot. She told me it was lukewarm. She asked if I could turn up the water heater. I explained that there were only two water heaters for the whole building, and if I turned them up any higher, I'd risk the old people burning themselves. She looked at me like I was crazy. I just wanted to grab her head and scream "I'm sorry that you think the waters cold, but if I turn it up any higher, you will melt!"
Today, they did not come to the office, but I learned this was simply because they were not on the premises. I was loading dishes into the community dishwasher when they came in. You know what happened next. When she finally shut up, I went back to the apartment. Then comes a knock on the door. There she is again, laughing at my misery. Well maybe she wasn't laughing, but she was telling me that they had locked themselves out of John's bathroom. So I got to listen to her whole spiel while I manipulated the lock with a tiny screwdriver. This time I was treated to another new phrase: "we can't let this happen again."
Tonight, Anna and I pulled up to the apartment. As soon as we stepped out of the car, John opened up his door and tells me, "Don't worry about her anymore. We got into it over my kids. She was talking down about them, so I told her to get the Hell out." I assured him that I was sorry to hear that. But I couldn't help laughing a little as Anna and I walked away.
We held a Reformation Day party on Saturday for the church kids. We helped them carve pumpkins (which really meant that I ended up carving most of the pumpkins), we fed them lots of candy, and we went on a hayride. My butt may never be the same after that hayride. There wasn't room in the hay-cart, so Anna and I sat in the bed of the pickup. I couldn't feel my man-bits.
Yes, in case you were wondering, I have been doing some deer hunting. No, I haven't killed anything. I've passed up a few shots on does. I actually would have shot two of them, except there was an even bigger doe behind them, but she winded me before I got a shot at her. On Saturday morning, I did see a rather nice buck, but he chose not to actually walk by my stand.
I should shower.
My butt is still seriously sore.
Sky blue boxer-briefs with black and white horizontal stripes.
It's bedtime. Anna has to get up early to continue her national chain of bakery/cafe restaurants training.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
I would like to take this opportunity to point at that even when the Donkeys were 6-0 last year I never wavered in my hatred of Josh McDaniels.
So now we send London two of the worst teams in the NFL for their viewing pleasure.
You have no idea how depressed I am that the NBA season has started.
I honestly wonder if the only reason Josh McDaniels is still in Denver is because Jay Cutler has been so bad in Chicago.
And, as someone so astutely pointed out, why was Kyle Orton still playing in the second half of that game on Sunday? Did McDaniels have him on his fantasy team and needed the points?
Anna got a new job. She has been hired by a national cafe/bakery place that is opening a store in Columbus. She is currently doing her training in Greenwood while the construction is being finished on the new store here. According to Anna, every single one of the employees in Greenwood either has their degree or is working towards it. I think Anna likes the job. I'm going to enjoy the food.
Macy can't pronounce her 'L's. They come out as 'W's.
I'm hungry.
It stormed pretty violently this morning. I heard the tornado sirens going off several times. I was actually surprised that none of the old people were pounding on my door in terror. I guess they were too deaf to hear it. I debated whether or not I should tell them of a coming tornado if one actually seemed imminent. I don't think it would do any good. There isn't any basement to this place. There isn't a safer place to go. It would just scare them.
We're having a 'Reformation Day' party on Saturday night with the kids from church. We'll carve pumpkins. I'm going to make my pumpkin epically awesome. You will be jealous. By the way, it's not really a 'Reformation Day' party, but at this church, we can't call it a Halloween party either.
The hunger pangs are overpowering my will to continue writing.
Gray.
People who read this blog: No one. Ever.
I'm lying. I don't know why you silly people keep coming here, though.
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
59-14
I would like to take this opportunity to point at that even when the Donkeys were 6-0 last year I never wavered in my hatred of Josh McDaniels.
So now we send London two of the worst teams in the NFL for their viewing pleasure.
You have no idea how depressed I am that the NBA season has started.
I honestly wonder if the only reason Josh McDaniels is still in Denver is because Jay Cutler has been so bad in Chicago.
And, as someone so astutely pointed out, why was Kyle Orton still playing in the second half of that game on Sunday? Did McDaniels have him on his fantasy team and needed the points?
Anna got a new job. She has been hired by a national cafe/bakery place that is opening a store in Columbus. She is currently doing her training in Greenwood while the construction is being finished on the new store here. According to Anna, every single one of the employees in Greenwood either has their degree or is working towards it. I think Anna likes the job. I'm going to enjoy the food.
Macy can't pronounce her 'L's. They come out as 'W's.
I'm hungry.
It stormed pretty violently this morning. I heard the tornado sirens going off several times. I was actually surprised that none of the old people were pounding on my door in terror. I guess they were too deaf to hear it. I debated whether or not I should tell them of a coming tornado if one actually seemed imminent. I don't think it would do any good. There isn't any basement to this place. There isn't a safer place to go. It would just scare them.
We're having a 'Reformation Day' party on Saturday night with the kids from church. We'll carve pumpkins. I'm going to make my pumpkin epically awesome. You will be jealous. By the way, it's not really a 'Reformation Day' party, but at this church, we can't call it a Halloween party either.
The hunger pangs are overpowering my will to continue writing.
Gray.
People who read this blog: No one. Ever.
I'm lying. I don't know why you silly people keep coming here, though.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Not with a bang but a whimper
I feel bad for the exterminator. You need a hazmat suit (or at the very least, a gas mask) to enter George and Katie's apartments. When he was here on Wednesday, Katie's apartment was as bad as it has ever been. When she opened the door, I literally had to suppress a gag. I heard the exterminator take a huge breath behind me and then watched his face turn red as he held his breath while spraying Katie's apartment. You cannot understand how bad it is. George was in there with here, and they had obviously been smoking all day. It must have been 80 degrees in there, and the apartment looked like it was in a fog. Our exterminator deserves an award for valor or something.
The Broncos are awful. They make me cry.
Sunday's game is "Orange Sunday," which I suppose might help the fans at the game be more enthusiastic about watching their team flail around like a dying chimpanzee on hallucinogenic drugs. They play the Jets. The "experts" seem to be arguing whether the Jets, Ravens, or Steelers are the NFL's best team. I, however, am not sold on the Jets. I think they are a fluke. Therefore, I give the Broncos a small chance in this game, but this does not mean I think they will win. I'm going to go with a final of 27-20.
I should have posted a prediction for last weeks game. It would have looked awfully close to the final score.
Someone, please kill McDaniels.
I've seen a few deer so far this season. I've passed up three different does so far. They were all on the small side.
Anna is not so secretly delighted each time I come back and report that I have yet to shoot a deer.
I think Chief might have brain damage. He keeps looking at me with his left eye half closed.
Anna has gotten the chance to sub for several different music teachers. She always seems to enjoy it. Sadly though, she hasn't had any awesome stories about horrible children burning down the schools.
George now has a "representative payee" to control his money. He has to have this because all his money somehow ends up in the hands of hookers. He says they steal from him, and yet he lets them come back every month. I think he gives them the money and then won't admit to it. Regardless, he has been appointed a woman to keep his finances in order so that there is money to pay for food and rent. She is mad at me because I told her we couldn't set up an electronic transfer for George's rent.
Last Sunday was pastor appreciation Sunday. They gave us a bunch of candy and a gift card. I didn't realize they thought of us as pastors.
We're trying to write a Christmas program. We're going to have one of the little girls dress up as a young version of one of the guys in the congregation. This will mean full cowboy getup, and I am pushing for her to grow a full beard and a handlebar mustache as well.
I actually showered earlier, so I don't need to shower right now.
Gray.
Howie is rubbing up against my leg. He is plotting my demise.
Anna isn't feeling well tonight. I hope she isn't getting sick.
Anna found some videos on youtube with instructions for do-it-yourself silk-screening, and we are going to make shirts for the kids. We made a couple practice ones. They look pretty decent. We think the kids will like them.
Anna's aunt feel and broke her hip a week ago. She's only a couple years older than my parents. She seems too young to have broken a hip. I can't imagine my parents with broken hips.
Anna likes to point it out when she sees gray hairs in my beard or hair.
The inside of my right ear itches.
Hey guys, that reunion we had the other day was awesome. Jana, I can't believe you did that thing with Bob. I'm so glad we didn't invite Sara. She smells funny.
There were two ladies here the other day to see George. I think they might have been daytime hookers. They were asking him if he wanted to go to a Halloween party. They wanted to dress him up as a pimp.
We went to a high school football game on Friday night. One of the girls from church is in marching band, and we wanted to show our support. It happened to be Anna's alma mater, and we had to make every effort to avoid eye contact with anyone for fear that they would remember her and we'd be caught talking with them awkwardly for hours. On the plus side, the football team actually won which, as I understand it, is a minor miracle.
People who hate on Columbus Day should go die.
Anna came up with this really cool (and slightly creepy) sounding piano line, and she is currently recording it, so she doesn't forget it. Sometimes Howie likes to play along on the piano with her.
Anna is the most metal person I know.
Project 86 is releasing a live album this year. I think that's rather awesome. You should all buy it because you need to spend your money on music you won't like.
Speaking of music you won't like, you should all listen to Norma Jean's album "Meridional." I can't stop.
People who read this blog: Aussie's
Someone from Queensland, Australia found our blog by googling "Hoff's Adventures." I wonder if they were looking for David Hasselhoff. That's creepy. I despise my nickname.
The Broncos are awful. They make me cry.
Sunday's game is "Orange Sunday," which I suppose might help the fans at the game be more enthusiastic about watching their team flail around like a dying chimpanzee on hallucinogenic drugs. They play the Jets. The "experts" seem to be arguing whether the Jets, Ravens, or Steelers are the NFL's best team. I, however, am not sold on the Jets. I think they are a fluke. Therefore, I give the Broncos a small chance in this game, but this does not mean I think they will win. I'm going to go with a final of 27-20.
I should have posted a prediction for last weeks game. It would have looked awfully close to the final score.
Someone, please kill McDaniels.
I've seen a few deer so far this season. I've passed up three different does so far. They were all on the small side.
Anna is not so secretly delighted each time I come back and report that I have yet to shoot a deer.
I think Chief might have brain damage. He keeps looking at me with his left eye half closed.
Anna has gotten the chance to sub for several different music teachers. She always seems to enjoy it. Sadly though, she hasn't had any awesome stories about horrible children burning down the schools.
George now has a "representative payee" to control his money. He has to have this because all his money somehow ends up in the hands of hookers. He says they steal from him, and yet he lets them come back every month. I think he gives them the money and then won't admit to it. Regardless, he has been appointed a woman to keep his finances in order so that there is money to pay for food and rent. She is mad at me because I told her we couldn't set up an electronic transfer for George's rent.
Last Sunday was pastor appreciation Sunday. They gave us a bunch of candy and a gift card. I didn't realize they thought of us as pastors.
We're trying to write a Christmas program. We're going to have one of the little girls dress up as a young version of one of the guys in the congregation. This will mean full cowboy getup, and I am pushing for her to grow a full beard and a handlebar mustache as well.
I actually showered earlier, so I don't need to shower right now.
Gray.
Howie is rubbing up against my leg. He is plotting my demise.
Anna isn't feeling well tonight. I hope she isn't getting sick.
Anna found some videos on youtube with instructions for do-it-yourself silk-screening, and we are going to make shirts for the kids. We made a couple practice ones. They look pretty decent. We think the kids will like them.
Anna's aunt feel and broke her hip a week ago. She's only a couple years older than my parents. She seems too young to have broken a hip. I can't imagine my parents with broken hips.
Anna likes to point it out when she sees gray hairs in my beard or hair.
The inside of my right ear itches.
Hey guys, that reunion we had the other day was awesome. Jana, I can't believe you did that thing with Bob. I'm so glad we didn't invite Sara. She smells funny.
There were two ladies here the other day to see George. I think they might have been daytime hookers. They were asking him if he wanted to go to a Halloween party. They wanted to dress him up as a pimp.
We went to a high school football game on Friday night. One of the girls from church is in marching band, and we wanted to show our support. It happened to be Anna's alma mater, and we had to make every effort to avoid eye contact with anyone for fear that they would remember her and we'd be caught talking with them awkwardly for hours. On the plus side, the football team actually won which, as I understand it, is a minor miracle.
People who hate on Columbus Day should go die.
Anna came up with this really cool (and slightly creepy) sounding piano line, and she is currently recording it, so she doesn't forget it. Sometimes Howie likes to play along on the piano with her.
Anna is the most metal person I know.
Project 86 is releasing a live album this year. I think that's rather awesome. You should all buy it because you need to spend your money on music you won't like.
Speaking of music you won't like, you should all listen to Norma Jean's album "Meridional." I can't stop.
People who read this blog: Aussie's
Someone from Queensland, Australia found our blog by googling "Hoff's Adventures." I wonder if they were looking for David Hasselhoff. That's creepy. I despise my nickname.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
DuhduhduhDEER Season
I mentioned in my last post that I didn't really expect Macy to return (I said this on Tuesday). Well guess what, she was there on Wednesday. She walked in with a lady I didn't recognize, and Macy introduced her to me as her sister. The lady clarified for me that she is Macy's "sister" from Big Brother/Big Sister. She will be having lunch with Macy every Wednesday and walking her over to the apartments after. I now expect that I'll have Macy approximately once a week, on Wednesdays.
Marilyn called me yesterday morning to tell me that I needed to get a repairman for one of the washing machines. She said it was full off suds after she tried to wash her cat bed. I checked on it, and it was indeed full of suds. I figured the best thing to do was to try to wash something else in it to see what happened, so I stuck a dirty blanket in it. It worked just fine. Marilyn must have just gone crazy with her laundry detergent.
Deer season opened yesterday. I saw seven, five does and two bucks. I didn't have a shot at any of them. I didn't see any this morning, but a front was coming in and that often means the deer don't move.
The Rockies have thoroughly demonstrated how much they hate Ubaldo Jimenez. In what could have been the final bright spot in a very disappointing season, they flushed his eight scoreless innings of work today down the drain and said, "we don't want you to win 20 games this year."
I still can't get enough of Norma Jeans' new album "Meridional." It's definitely their best album, and it's the best album I've heard in awhile, period.
Anna wants me to come up with a memory verse for the kids for tomorrow. I'm thinking that Leviticus 11:19, Deuteronomy 25:11-12, or Genesis 38:9-10 would be good options.
I should shower tonight.
Now that it is fall, the beard is making its epic return. My chin is awfully itchy.
Marilyn told me her screen door wasn't closing fast enough. I checked it. It closed fine. She wanted me to fix it. I replaced the hydraulic closer on the door. It closed the exact same way as the old one.
My Bejeweled Blitz score is pretty epic this week. Sara, make sure that Kevin understands that, though he might get the occasional decent score, he will never be as awesome as Anna or I are.
I think Bejeweled Blitz will give me carpal tunnel syndrome.
I'm getting thirsty.
Camouflage Taz.
There's nothing like a technical death metal rendition of "How Great Thou Art" to brighten your evening.
The Donkeys play the Titans on Sunday, in Nashville. If the Donkeys were at home I would give them the edge. If the game was at 4 o'clock, I would give them the edge. But historically western teams do not do well in 1 o'clock games. I honestly think that it's a matter of bio-rhythms. Therefore, I'm going to say that the Donkeys lose 20-17. I don't think they get stomped on. I think they can keep Chris Johnson from doing enough damage to turn it into the blowout some experts are predicting, but there is no way they can get it in the end zone enough against the Titans' defense.
People who read this blog: a Marshall Islander
I have no idea how they found our blog. There wasn't any evidence of them googling anything. They just appeared out of nowhere. Creepy.
Marilyn called me yesterday morning to tell me that I needed to get a repairman for one of the washing machines. She said it was full off suds after she tried to wash her cat bed. I checked on it, and it was indeed full of suds. I figured the best thing to do was to try to wash something else in it to see what happened, so I stuck a dirty blanket in it. It worked just fine. Marilyn must have just gone crazy with her laundry detergent.
Deer season opened yesterday. I saw seven, five does and two bucks. I didn't have a shot at any of them. I didn't see any this morning, but a front was coming in and that often means the deer don't move.
The Rockies have thoroughly demonstrated how much they hate Ubaldo Jimenez. In what could have been the final bright spot in a very disappointing season, they flushed his eight scoreless innings of work today down the drain and said, "we don't want you to win 20 games this year."
I still can't get enough of Norma Jeans' new album "Meridional." It's definitely their best album, and it's the best album I've heard in awhile, period.
Anna wants me to come up with a memory verse for the kids for tomorrow. I'm thinking that Leviticus 11:19, Deuteronomy 25:11-12, or Genesis 38:9-10 would be good options.
I should shower tonight.
Now that it is fall, the beard is making its epic return. My chin is awfully itchy.
Marilyn told me her screen door wasn't closing fast enough. I checked it. It closed fine. She wanted me to fix it. I replaced the hydraulic closer on the door. It closed the exact same way as the old one.
My Bejeweled Blitz score is pretty epic this week. Sara, make sure that Kevin understands that, though he might get the occasional decent score, he will never be as awesome as Anna or I are.
I think Bejeweled Blitz will give me carpal tunnel syndrome.
I'm getting thirsty.
Camouflage Taz.
There's nothing like a technical death metal rendition of "How Great Thou Art" to brighten your evening.
The Donkeys play the Titans on Sunday, in Nashville. If the Donkeys were at home I would give them the edge. If the game was at 4 o'clock, I would give them the edge. But historically western teams do not do well in 1 o'clock games. I honestly think that it's a matter of bio-rhythms. Therefore, I'm going to say that the Donkeys lose 20-17. I don't think they get stomped on. I think they can keep Chris Johnson from doing enough damage to turn it into the blowout some experts are predicting, but there is no way they can get it in the end zone enough against the Titans' defense.
People who read this blog: a Marshall Islander
I have no idea how they found our blog. There wasn't any evidence of them googling anything. They just appeared out of nowhere. Creepy.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Please don't drool on our food
!@#$
We now return to your regularly scheduled blog wishing that Josh McDaniels would die and leave us in peace.
It's a depressing time for Colorado sports fans.
I removed a wash cloth from James' garbage disposal today.
In theory, I am supposed to have a new slave. Her name is Macy. I say "in theory" because she has officially been my slave for two weeks, but I have only seen her three times. In fact, I haven't seen her since last Tuesday. This doesn't particularly surprise me, and I actually kind of expected it. Why? She told me on her first day that she was kicked out of school for truancy and had skipped over 130 days of school last year. When I asked her how she felt about getting kicked out of the Restart program, she didn't seem at all phased. She actually told me she was weighing whether or not it was worth the 30 days in juvenile detention she would get if she just quit coming. I figure that's probably where she is now.
Anna's father took off Friday and Monday, so that he could spend a four day weekend riding horses with Anna's mother. They stayed at the Horseman Campground in the Brown County State Park. Anna and I went up to see them a few times while they were there. We sat around the fire and watched Poopface roll around in the dirt.
Our friend Jennifer, who I am sure I have mentioned in this blog before, got married while she was doing her Army training in Hawaii. She and her husband just finished up their training, and they came to visit Indiana for a bit before they have to report to Fort Carson, in the Springs, for their first assignment. Anna and I spent a good deal of time with her and her husband, Bobby, while they were here. Jennifer brought Anna a ukulele from Hawaii. When Anna got it, she conveniently neglected to mention to Jennifer that she already had two ukuleles. The one from Hawaii has a shark on it though, so that's pretty cool.
I've had a headache much of the day today. I am currently trying to cure it by blasting metal through my headphones. I think it's working.
You have no idea how depressed I am about certain professional sports related teams.
On the positive side, deer season starts Friday. I need to go site my bow in for broadheads tomorrow.
Anna was giving Dani and Lexy piano lessons on Friday, and Lexy nearly chopped off her finger. I felt very bad about this and very embarrassed when Lexy told her mom. Fortunately, I am exaggerating the extent of the damage, and it looks like Lexy will be able to keep her finger.
A couple Sundays ago, the church celebrated what they call "Homecoming." Lots of old people showed up, after church there was a big meal, and after that several people sang some songs and played some music. Anna was asked to sing a few songs. She did wonderful, as always. Anna's grandma was asked to play the piano. Two other people were asked to play and sing. I wanted to punch everyone but Anna. I wanted to punch Anna's grandmother because of who she is. I wanted to punch the other two people because they were obviously performing just to show off and not because they felt any need to honor God or anything so insignificant as that.
Anna had a half day of substituting on Thursday, and when she came back, we ate lunch together in my office. We though Blizzards sounded good, so we picked up some DQ to eat. While we were eating lunch George walks right into the office without saying a word and starts digging through our food. He was leaning right over top of our Blizzards, so I quickly slid them away from him for fear of drool. He dug through our food for a little bit and then muttered something which I took to mean "Hast thou stolen from me mine Meals on Wheels repast?" I assured him that we had not taken his Meals on Wheels, and in fact, I told him that I had heard from the Meals on Wheels people that he wasn't getting them anymore. He shrugged and left.
I don't have much else to say.
Sky blue boxer-briefs with black horizontal stripes.
People who read this blog: Perverts
I just want you to know that people are still finding this blog by googling that whole GGW in North Vernon event.
We now return to your regularly scheduled blog wishing that Josh McDaniels would die and leave us in peace.
It's a depressing time for Colorado sports fans.
I removed a wash cloth from James' garbage disposal today.
In theory, I am supposed to have a new slave. Her name is Macy. I say "in theory" because she has officially been my slave for two weeks, but I have only seen her three times. In fact, I haven't seen her since last Tuesday. This doesn't particularly surprise me, and I actually kind of expected it. Why? She told me on her first day that she was kicked out of school for truancy and had skipped over 130 days of school last year. When I asked her how she felt about getting kicked out of the Restart program, she didn't seem at all phased. She actually told me she was weighing whether or not it was worth the 30 days in juvenile detention she would get if she just quit coming. I figure that's probably where she is now.
Anna's father took off Friday and Monday, so that he could spend a four day weekend riding horses with Anna's mother. They stayed at the Horseman Campground in the Brown County State Park. Anna and I went up to see them a few times while they were there. We sat around the fire and watched Poopface roll around in the dirt.
Our friend Jennifer, who I am sure I have mentioned in this blog before, got married while she was doing her Army training in Hawaii. She and her husband just finished up their training, and they came to visit Indiana for a bit before they have to report to Fort Carson, in the Springs, for their first assignment. Anna and I spent a good deal of time with her and her husband, Bobby, while they were here. Jennifer brought Anna a ukulele from Hawaii. When Anna got it, she conveniently neglected to mention to Jennifer that she already had two ukuleles. The one from Hawaii has a shark on it though, so that's pretty cool.
I've had a headache much of the day today. I am currently trying to cure it by blasting metal through my headphones. I think it's working.
You have no idea how depressed I am about certain professional sports related teams.
On the positive side, deer season starts Friday. I need to go site my bow in for broadheads tomorrow.
Anna was giving Dani and Lexy piano lessons on Friday, and Lexy nearly chopped off her finger. I felt very bad about this and very embarrassed when Lexy told her mom. Fortunately, I am exaggerating the extent of the damage, and it looks like Lexy will be able to keep her finger.
A couple Sundays ago, the church celebrated what they call "Homecoming." Lots of old people showed up, after church there was a big meal, and after that several people sang some songs and played some music. Anna was asked to sing a few songs. She did wonderful, as always. Anna's grandma was asked to play the piano. Two other people were asked to play and sing. I wanted to punch everyone but Anna. I wanted to punch Anna's grandmother because of who she is. I wanted to punch the other two people because they were obviously performing just to show off and not because they felt any need to honor God or anything so insignificant as that.
Anna had a half day of substituting on Thursday, and when she came back, we ate lunch together in my office. We though Blizzards sounded good, so we picked up some DQ to eat. While we were eating lunch George walks right into the office without saying a word and starts digging through our food. He was leaning right over top of our Blizzards, so I quickly slid them away from him for fear of drool. He dug through our food for a little bit and then muttered something which I took to mean "Hast thou stolen from me mine Meals on Wheels repast?" I assured him that we had not taken his Meals on Wheels, and in fact, I told him that I had heard from the Meals on Wheels people that he wasn't getting them anymore. He shrugged and left.
I don't have much else to say.
Sky blue boxer-briefs with black horizontal stripes.
People who read this blog: Perverts
I just want you to know that people are still finding this blog by googling that whole GGW in North Vernon event.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Keep your pants on, and turn around
We went to Colorado.
The day we left Bobbie told me that someone was 'like to die' while I was gone.
We rented a car. It was a Kia Soul. I think Anna wants one now.
We drove to the far side of Missouri the first night and stayed in a hotel just outside of Kansas City. The next day we drove from Kansas City to Colorado Springs.
We got in to the Springs at about eight that night. My mom set up an air mattress in my sister's room (my sister having taken her bed with her to college). It was actually the nicest air mattress I've been on. The first couple nights we thought it was leaking because we had to fill it up every few hours to keep it comfortable, but I think, since it was the first time it had been used, it was just stretching out. It got better the longer we were there.
We arrived on a Saturday. On Sunday my parent's church celebrated its fiftieth anniversary. They had five of the ten pastors in the church's history at the service, and they all took part in some form or another. There was a lunch afterwards, but I was sad to discover it wasn't a potluck because I wanted to show Anna how a Colorado potluck doesn't have all the yellow food you find in an Indiana pitch-in.
I was blown away when I discovered all the high schoolers in the church were the ones I still picture as little kids from my days in Colorado. I was also rather surprised how many people didn't seem to recognize me either.
On Monday, Anna and I met Heather in Castle Rock for coffee. It was a good time. It was awesome to have a chance to get Heather to ourselves for a bit before all the wedding craziness happened. She was surprisingly relaxed for a bride-to-be during the week of her wedding.
My parents took Anna and me out for dinner on Monday night. They chose Carrabba's. I had never been there before. It seemed overpriced. Anna went for the cheapest thing on the menu: grilled chicken. It was $11, and it was the smallest chicken breast I've ever seen.
Tuesday night, we were invited to have dinner with Greg and Bri and Greg's parents. We got to meet Greg and Bri's two kids: Amos and Jaela. They are cute. They made me laugh a lot. Jaela never stopped smiling. We had a great time just sitting and talking to Greg for awhile. But it was absolutely shocking to watch a little kid run up to him and call him 'Daddy'.
On Wednesday, Anna and I drove up to Greeley to see my sister. She's contemplating getting married to a hobbit. I asked her if he has hairy feet. She said that I had better not make fun of his height to his face, or he will hate me forever. I don't think I could make fun of his height to his face without straining my back from bending over so far.
While we were in Colorado, I discovered that the Rockies had a make-up game against the Phillies on Thursday. I also knew that all of our friends would be getting in to Denver that night. I thought to myself, "self, we should go see the Rockies play the Phillies and then we'll already be up there to meet up with our friends." So we did. Except the Rockies decided to rain on my parade, and they blew a four run lead. I was very sad. I might have hit the seat in front of me a few times. But we had our friends to see.
We all had a suite together in a hotel in Denver. I was expecting two rooms of four beds, but it was actually like a small two bedroom apartment with three beds total. Anna and I got to be the 'parents' and got to stay on our own in one room while the others divided up the two beds in the other bedroom. Oddly enough, somehow that translated into Jana sleeping on the fold-out bed in the couch.
The best thing about seeing Janna, Sara, Bob, and Jon again was that it wasn't weird at all. It was just awesome.
That first night we sat around and played 'The Game of Things' for awhile. While we played, I think Sara was slowly losing her mind out of exhaustion, and Jana kept making fun of the rest of us who were used to the Eastern Time Zone. I don't know how we didn't get kicked out of the hotel. Sara was as loud as I've ever heard her.
Friday morning, Heather had us all meet at a local breakfast place called Snooze. It must have been a pretty neat place because we saw a guy from the Food Network there. I had pancakes. They were very good. The place was kind of cool. We spotted a waitress with a tattoo of Michigan with a star over what could have been the Holland area. She even looked Dutch. We figured it would be rude to ask since she wasn't actually our waitress.
After breakfast with Heather, those of us not actually getting married the next day went down to the Garden of the Gods. Jon and Bob broke the rules and climbed on the rocks. There was a couple getting their wedding pictures taken. We're probably in half of them. Ranger Jon explained all the geologic formations to us.
After we were done at the Garden of the Gods, we got dinner at Chick-fil-a so that Jon could experience it for the first time. I never did get his reaction. Jon, please comment with your reaction to your first Chick-fil-a experience.
That night, Heather and Jordan came over to our suite and played the game of things with us. I guess we were their bachelor and bachelorette parties all in one.
The wedding wasn't until five on Saturday so we drove over to Red Rocks. Though I've lived much of my life in Colorado, I had never been to Red Rocks. I must say that after seeing it, I'm disappointed that there was never a concert there I was interested in seeing. It would be awesome.
We went to Hammond's Candies to see their free factory tour. It wasn't terrible. It wasn't great. It would have been much better if they were actually making candy while we were there. I guess we got in too late because they were pretty much done with their daily candy making. From there, we went back to the hotel to change for the wedding.
The wedding was at a 'tennis pavilion', except I didn't see anything related to tennis anywhere. I'm still not sure where we were or what the building was that we were behind, but it seemed to be part of this big estate in the middle of Denver. The ceremony itself was held in a relatively small area with lots of grass and brick work and vines, and it was lovely. But that was only a small part of a much larger garden area full of walkways and flowers and trees. It really was a wonderful place for a wedding.
The reception included a dinner complete with genuine barbeque (smoked) beef brisket. It was awesome. Therefore, Heather, I give your reception two thumbs up.
There was dancing. I didn't dance. I would have slow danced with Anna, but there weren't too many slow dancing songs. We stayed around for several hours chatting and hanging out. Heather and Jordan did a good job of trying to see everyone who had come to the wedding. It was nice to be able to get to give her a proper goodbye before we all went our separate ways.
On Sunday, we decided to walk around the 16th Street Mall for awhile before Jana had to go to the airport for her flight back to California. After we had walked up and down the mall for awhile, Anna and I took Jana to the airport while Jon tagged along. The rest of our friends went on a tour of Coors (the brewery, not the ballpark). We had a nice civil discussion about immigration law while we took Jana to the airport. It was sad getting to the airport. We didn't want to say good bye to our hipster commie friend.
Anna wanted a ukuleles. So after we got rid of that dirty communist, we went in search of a music shop that sold ukuleles. We found one. Anna found herself a new ukulele. She was happy.
We spent much of our hang out time in the company of Ben and Sarah, who are friends of our friends from Calvin. Anna and I hardly knew them at all, but because of their friendship with our friends, they accompanied us on most of our adventures. Sarah had a couple friends who lived in Colorado Springs. So on Sunday night, she arranged to meet them for dinner. Anna, Jon, and I all drove down to the Springs to meet up with everyone else for dinner. I felt bad for Jon the whole time. He ended up stuck at the end of the table looking very lonely with Sarah and her two friends. Anna and I were on the other end with Bob and Sara. We weren't lonely. We were just amused that Sara still felt drunk from the brewery tour.
We went to a Rockies game on Monday. That was awesome. Tulowitzki hit a long home run, and the Rockies actually won. Ubaldo Jimenez was the starting pitcher, and we got to see him get his team record setting 18th win. We all got very sunburned. Poor Sara is probably still feeling it in her knees. Frankly, I'm surprised I haven't developed skin cancer on my ankle yet.
That night, we decided to just order pizza and hang out in the suite. We ordered carryout from Domino's. We used online ordering. The website even told us the name of the person making our pizza. I can't remember what the name was for sure. It might have been Jenny. Jon and I went to pick it up. We gave "Jenny" about twenty minutes to make our pizza before we went. When we showed up, we discovered that "Jenny" was the only one working and that she was frazzled out of her mind. Our pizza ended up taking twice as long as it should have, but we got a free two liter of Coke out of it.
Jon's flight was Monday night. Sara and Bob took him to the airport. It was sad to see him go as well.
Sara and Bob left before we did on Tuesday morning to make their flights. We said a sad farewell.
Anna and I were the last to leave. My mom ended up actually wanting to meet one more time before we hit the road. So we met for breakfast at a little place called Le Peep. We then said goodbye to her and hit the road.
We drove from Denver to just outside of Kansas City on Tuesday. The bathroom in our motel smelled faintly of pee, and we were awoken in the morning by someone opening and then closing our door.
All the residents have my cell number in case of an emergency. We were about two hours from Columbus when my phone started ringing. I answered. It was Beulah. Beulah wanted me to know that her porch light was out. Apparently that constitutes an emergency. I was just grateful I didn't get any ridiculous calls while I was actually in Colorado.
We arrived back here on Wednesday night. The apartment hadn't burned down. No residents had died. I think it turned out to be a very successful trip.
The day we left Bobbie told me that someone was 'like to die' while I was gone.
We rented a car. It was a Kia Soul. I think Anna wants one now.
We drove to the far side of Missouri the first night and stayed in a hotel just outside of Kansas City. The next day we drove from Kansas City to Colorado Springs.
We got in to the Springs at about eight that night. My mom set up an air mattress in my sister's room (my sister having taken her bed with her to college). It was actually the nicest air mattress I've been on. The first couple nights we thought it was leaking because we had to fill it up every few hours to keep it comfortable, but I think, since it was the first time it had been used, it was just stretching out. It got better the longer we were there.
We arrived on a Saturday. On Sunday my parent's church celebrated its fiftieth anniversary. They had five of the ten pastors in the church's history at the service, and they all took part in some form or another. There was a lunch afterwards, but I was sad to discover it wasn't a potluck because I wanted to show Anna how a Colorado potluck doesn't have all the yellow food you find in an Indiana pitch-in.
I was blown away when I discovered all the high schoolers in the church were the ones I still picture as little kids from my days in Colorado. I was also rather surprised how many people didn't seem to recognize me either.
On Monday, Anna and I met Heather in Castle Rock for coffee. It was a good time. It was awesome to have a chance to get Heather to ourselves for a bit before all the wedding craziness happened. She was surprisingly relaxed for a bride-to-be during the week of her wedding.
My parents took Anna and me out for dinner on Monday night. They chose Carrabba's. I had never been there before. It seemed overpriced. Anna went for the cheapest thing on the menu: grilled chicken. It was $11, and it was the smallest chicken breast I've ever seen.
Tuesday night, we were invited to have dinner with Greg and Bri and Greg's parents. We got to meet Greg and Bri's two kids: Amos and Jaela. They are cute. They made me laugh a lot. Jaela never stopped smiling. We had a great time just sitting and talking to Greg for awhile. But it was absolutely shocking to watch a little kid run up to him and call him 'Daddy'.
On Wednesday, Anna and I drove up to Greeley to see my sister. She's contemplating getting married to a hobbit. I asked her if he has hairy feet. She said that I had better not make fun of his height to his face, or he will hate me forever. I don't think I could make fun of his height to his face without straining my back from bending over so far.
While we were in Colorado, I discovered that the Rockies had a make-up game against the Phillies on Thursday. I also knew that all of our friends would be getting in to Denver that night. I thought to myself, "self, we should go see the Rockies play the Phillies and then we'll already be up there to meet up with our friends." So we did. Except the Rockies decided to rain on my parade, and they blew a four run lead. I was very sad. I might have hit the seat in front of me a few times. But we had our friends to see.
We all had a suite together in a hotel in Denver. I was expecting two rooms of four beds, but it was actually like a small two bedroom apartment with three beds total. Anna and I got to be the 'parents' and got to stay on our own in one room while the others divided up the two beds in the other bedroom. Oddly enough, somehow that translated into Jana sleeping on the fold-out bed in the couch.
The best thing about seeing Janna, Sara, Bob, and Jon again was that it wasn't weird at all. It was just awesome.
That first night we sat around and played 'The Game of Things' for awhile. While we played, I think Sara was slowly losing her mind out of exhaustion, and Jana kept making fun of the rest of us who were used to the Eastern Time Zone. I don't know how we didn't get kicked out of the hotel. Sara was as loud as I've ever heard her.
Friday morning, Heather had us all meet at a local breakfast place called Snooze. It must have been a pretty neat place because we saw a guy from the Food Network there. I had pancakes. They were very good. The place was kind of cool. We spotted a waitress with a tattoo of Michigan with a star over what could have been the Holland area. She even looked Dutch. We figured it would be rude to ask since she wasn't actually our waitress.
After breakfast with Heather, those of us not actually getting married the next day went down to the Garden of the Gods. Jon and Bob broke the rules and climbed on the rocks. There was a couple getting their wedding pictures taken. We're probably in half of them. Ranger Jon explained all the geologic formations to us.
After we were done at the Garden of the Gods, we got dinner at Chick-fil-a so that Jon could experience it for the first time. I never did get his reaction. Jon, please comment with your reaction to your first Chick-fil-a experience.
That night, Heather and Jordan came over to our suite and played the game of things with us. I guess we were their bachelor and bachelorette parties all in one.
The wedding wasn't until five on Saturday so we drove over to Red Rocks. Though I've lived much of my life in Colorado, I had never been to Red Rocks. I must say that after seeing it, I'm disappointed that there was never a concert there I was interested in seeing. It would be awesome.
We went to Hammond's Candies to see their free factory tour. It wasn't terrible. It wasn't great. It would have been much better if they were actually making candy while we were there. I guess we got in too late because they were pretty much done with their daily candy making. From there, we went back to the hotel to change for the wedding.
The wedding was at a 'tennis pavilion', except I didn't see anything related to tennis anywhere. I'm still not sure where we were or what the building was that we were behind, but it seemed to be part of this big estate in the middle of Denver. The ceremony itself was held in a relatively small area with lots of grass and brick work and vines, and it was lovely. But that was only a small part of a much larger garden area full of walkways and flowers and trees. It really was a wonderful place for a wedding.
The reception included a dinner complete with genuine barbeque (smoked) beef brisket. It was awesome. Therefore, Heather, I give your reception two thumbs up.
There was dancing. I didn't dance. I would have slow danced with Anna, but there weren't too many slow dancing songs. We stayed around for several hours chatting and hanging out. Heather and Jordan did a good job of trying to see everyone who had come to the wedding. It was nice to be able to get to give her a proper goodbye before we all went our separate ways.
On Sunday, we decided to walk around the 16th Street Mall for awhile before Jana had to go to the airport for her flight back to California. After we had walked up and down the mall for awhile, Anna and I took Jana to the airport while Jon tagged along. The rest of our friends went on a tour of Coors (the brewery, not the ballpark). We had a nice civil discussion about immigration law while we took Jana to the airport. It was sad getting to the airport. We didn't want to say good bye to our hipster commie friend.
Anna wanted a ukuleles. So after we got rid of that dirty communist, we went in search of a music shop that sold ukuleles. We found one. Anna found herself a new ukulele. She was happy.
We spent much of our hang out time in the company of Ben and Sarah, who are friends of our friends from Calvin. Anna and I hardly knew them at all, but because of their friendship with our friends, they accompanied us on most of our adventures. Sarah had a couple friends who lived in Colorado Springs. So on Sunday night, she arranged to meet them for dinner. Anna, Jon, and I all drove down to the Springs to meet up with everyone else for dinner. I felt bad for Jon the whole time. He ended up stuck at the end of the table looking very lonely with Sarah and her two friends. Anna and I were on the other end with Bob and Sara. We weren't lonely. We were just amused that Sara still felt drunk from the brewery tour.
We went to a Rockies game on Monday. That was awesome. Tulowitzki hit a long home run, and the Rockies actually won. Ubaldo Jimenez was the starting pitcher, and we got to see him get his team record setting 18th win. We all got very sunburned. Poor Sara is probably still feeling it in her knees. Frankly, I'm surprised I haven't developed skin cancer on my ankle yet.
That night, we decided to just order pizza and hang out in the suite. We ordered carryout from Domino's. We used online ordering. The website even told us the name of the person making our pizza. I can't remember what the name was for sure. It might have been Jenny. Jon and I went to pick it up. We gave "Jenny" about twenty minutes to make our pizza before we went. When we showed up, we discovered that "Jenny" was the only one working and that she was frazzled out of her mind. Our pizza ended up taking twice as long as it should have, but we got a free two liter of Coke out of it.
Jon's flight was Monday night. Sara and Bob took him to the airport. It was sad to see him go as well.
Sara and Bob left before we did on Tuesday morning to make their flights. We said a sad farewell.
Anna and I were the last to leave. My mom ended up actually wanting to meet one more time before we hit the road. So we met for breakfast at a little place called Le Peep. We then said goodbye to her and hit the road.
We drove from Denver to just outside of Kansas City on Tuesday. The bathroom in our motel smelled faintly of pee, and we were awoken in the morning by someone opening and then closing our door.
All the residents have my cell number in case of an emergency. We were about two hours from Columbus when my phone started ringing. I answered. It was Beulah. Beulah wanted me to know that her porch light was out. Apparently that constitutes an emergency. I was just grateful I didn't get any ridiculous calls while I was actually in Colorado.
We arrived back here on Wednesday night. The apartment hadn't burned down. No residents had died. I think it turned out to be a very successful trip.
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