...And then the Trampolinist was Carried Away on a Stretcher

I forgot to mention this yesterday. I had woken up and was walking through the apartment when I stepped on something sort of cold and slimy. It was actually a piece of lettuce. I though to myself, "Self, why is Chief dragging pieces of lettuce around the apartment, and where did he get them?" But I failed to pursue the mystery any further. Later though, I stepped into the kitchen to discover a head of lettuce sitting in Daisy's food bowl. I asked Anna what on earth it was doing there. She had no idea. I don't even know why the lettuce wasn't in the refrigerator, but regardless, Chief took the whole thing and set it in Daisy's bowl. I guess he thinks she needs to eat her vegetables.
This morning we went to Browns Corner for church.
This evening we went to Browns Corner for church.
I don't have much to report about the morning service, but this evening led to some laughs. While Anna's father was preaching this evening, he stumbled upon a brilliant new idea. He was discussing the difference between a Catholic crucifix and the symbolism of the empty cross, when he took this tangent: "You know if someone wanted to make a million dollars, they should make an 'empty grave' necklace. Then someone can walk up to you and ask, 'what's with the rock with a hole in it?' 'it's an empty grave.' 'what'd you have in there? a cricket?'" Anna about died.
While we were singing hymns, I noticed some doodling in an extremely old hymnal. I discovered that someone had made a couple of flip-book stories. I flipped the pages and watched in wonder as a trampolinist bounded across the page and bounces over three trampolines only to fall flat on his back and two more characters appeared and then the trampolinist was carried away on a stretcher. The second story was a little more simple. A man goes running across the page and then leaps off of a diving board into some water and then floats away in a giant bubble.
I asked two of the little kids there if they had drawn it, and they said maybe their father had. It's funny too because it is very possible that it is their father's twenty-five year old doodling.
After the morning service, Anna and I went over to the in-laws for a quick lunch. It was quick because after that I went over to BW3s to watch the Broncos/Bengals game. I have no comment on the game itself. You'll see what happened if you watch Sportscenter.
Blue Taz boxers of Taz boxers.
Anna took some amazing videos of Daisy and Chief while I was watching the game. I think she posted a few on facebook. Joel, you may be awesome, but you aren't awesome enough to have facebook to be able to see these videos. That goes for you too, Aimee. Anyone else read this that doesn't have facebook? Yeah, you aren't awesome either.
Since the Broncos did manage to win, I feel it is my obligation to continue to eat the same thing each time I watch them play. My menu: twelve Asian Zing wings, six Caribbean Jerk wins, and six Spicy Garlic wings. I will continue to order that until they lose. I will also wear the same clothes and underwear. My good voodoo will counteract the evil presence that is Josh McDaniels.
And I realize I bash McDaniels alot, so I feel like I need to clarify something. However much I think the Broncos would be better off without him, I will continue to root passionately for them to win. I will also give McDaniels every chance to redeem himself in my eyes. Though, I believe full redemption will only come with a Superbowl victory.
The Rockies lost again. My life continues to be ruined.
If you were to ask me which I prefer: Broncos or Rockies? I'm going to have to be honest and say that it depends on the time of the year.
I have a headache. I feel funny. I think I need to go to sleep.
I have three fantasty football teams. All of them were chosen by automatic draft. My teams suck. One of my teams got stuck with Chad Pennington as QB, with no other QBs on the roster. That didn't go over well today.
Anna's cousin sent me a paper to edit. I just finished working on it before I started writing this. I enjoy editing papers sometimes. I just worry that I won't be much help to people when I do.
Wow, I almost forgot to talk about a resident.
Apartment 111: Mildred (Edit: I guess I got a little excited. I said Mildred was 110, but she is 111. I'll take care of 110 tomorrow.)
Mildred is a very frail looking old lady. I'd bet she is pushing eighty. She likes to wear solid colored baseball caps, and she's hardly ever apart from her walker. She is also blind in one eye. I'm not sure if she has a glass eye or if she just can't see out of it, but if you look at her you can tell one eye is pointing in the wrong direction. Mildred mutters to herself a lot. She also mutters when she talks to you. Unfortunately, (maybe because she only sees out of one eye and thus has no depth perception) she starts her muttering to you from fifty feet away. You can never tell if she is talking to you or just muttering until you finally get up next to her, and by then, she'll be halfway through whatever it is she is saying to you. When she isn't actually telling you anything of importance, she's usually muttering about how "everyone around here smokes." She likes to sit out front of the building in the evenings, but I think she gets really offended with other residents smoke out there. Mildred told me tonight that her air conditioner didn't seem to be working. I'll check it out tomorrow. She's never around during the day. I have no idea where she goes. Apparently, she is scared to sleep alone at night so she asks Bobbie to sleep over. I'm not sure it helps her fear that she has a police scanner that she listens to all the time.