Clippity Clippity

I didn't see anything this morning. I guessed from the beginning that I wouldn't, after yesterday's debacle. I was further assured of this fact when someone across the road started shooting. I'm not sure what they were targeting. They may have been sighting in for all I know.
I have nothing to report from my time in the office. However, when I left the office I happened to see Katie and Bobbie pass each other in the hallway, and I heard Bobbie saying, "You people got no respect, slammin' doors all the time. I'm not going to put up with it." I doubt Katie heard her.
Bobbie has been muttering about slamming doors a great deal the past couple days. I'm not sure who is doing this slamming. I haven't noticed it.
I went to Wal-Mart. I had a close call as I was walking out to the car. I noticed Evil Grandmother's car by the Salvation Army (it being Thursday and thus the weekly meal), and I had a huge jolt of fear when I looked at the Salvation Army itself and saw her little spiteful back disappearing inside.
Some of you might ask why I am so afraid of Anna's evil grandmother. Well, I'm not, but I have a hard time lying. It doesn't matter about what. It makes me uncomfortable. Therefore, I do not want to ever see anyone to whom I would have to lie. Evil Grandmother is a prime example of someone to whom I would have to lie. I would have to make up all sorts of stuff about how we are busy all the time and that we are sorry for not coming to see her and that we miss her and that we would love to come see her soon and that the sight of her evil little face doesn't make us want to punch a starving child.
You may also think that I am overly harsh to a poor old lady. Just listen to her talk for awhile, and I assure you that you will understand. She can't hurt me, but she sure has hurt every single female member of her family. Her boys don't even like her (though I can't imagine they'd admit it).
Stan was my cashier at Wal-Mart. Stan had a creepy mustache. Stan also had his name tag, proudly emblazoned with his name, clipped to a relatively large gold cross pendant. The pendant itself was incongruous with the rest of Stan. Stan is not the sort of man to wear bling. Somehow, I don't think he quite comprehends that his pendant was designed more for ghetto couture than religious imagery. And the poor fellow had his Wal-Mart name tag clipped to the thing. For really.
Daulton laughed at my haircut and said that I didn't look like myself. James' daughter said that I looked like a baby.
Invisible boxers.
I picked up some decent looking steaks (a couple New York strips and a couple rib-eyes, well marbled). I'll cook a couple tomorrow and maybe a couple more Saturday.
My left shin itches.
The space between my right big toe and right whatever toe is next to the big toe itches.
I don't believe I mentioned this little story before, and I should have. A couple weeks ago, Janet had a friend crashing at her place. Janet's sister-in-law, Marilyn, didn't think this was a good arrangement. Marilyn called me while I was in the office and told me she didn't want Janet's friend there leeching off of her. Not only did she want me to tell her that Janet's friend wasn't allowed to keep staying there, but she actually said, "Call me back and tell me to tell Janet that you heard about her friend and that she's not allowed to stay there anymore." I guess it was her way to feel better about lying to Janet. Whatever. I called her back and informed her that Janet could not have someone stay over for more than a week. Marilyn interrupted me and said, "You'd better say two days because that's how long she's been there."
People who don't read this blog: Howie and Chief
Howie and Chief are cats and are thus incapable of using a computer. If they were capable of such things and were to stumble upon this blog, they would be horrified to see how I talk about them. They would most certainly hunt me down and kill me in my sleep. I'd wake up with a cat on my chest and another one holding a pillow over my face. I'm glad they are cats and cannot use the computer.