I'm currently watching "Pumpkin Chunkin'." I love America.
It's nice to have a few days off in a row.
Gray.
Brine + Turkey + Deep Fryer = Win
I think I'll be a moonshiner.
Poor Anna has to open the store an hour early tomorrow for all the crazy people who are willing to risk their lives for a decent price on a TV.
Does it make me a nerd that I want a trebuchet?
I'm hungry. I wonder where I can find some food? I hope there's still a turkey wing hiding somewhere.
My left ankle makes horrible sounds.
Why am I so hungry?
If the Broncos are to make the playoffs this year, they need to beat the Chargers this Sunday. Even if they don't make the playoffs, I will consider this season a success if they beat the Chargers this Sunday. Have I mentioned how much I hate the Chargers?
I called my family to wish them a happy Thanksgiving. As I expected, my dad was hunting. I guess my sister just popped in and out and my brother didn't feel like going out so my mother rummaged in the refrigerator. My family is so festive. It makes me proud.
Why does everything get so itchy while I blog? Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. Or just on my skin. Or in my mind.
Anna and I went to see 'Puss in Boots' with one of Anna's coworkers. I was so tired I couldn't tell you if it was any good or not, but Anna liked it.
I have no pity for people griping about the lines on Black Friday.
Our friend Jennifer is here for Thanksgiving. She and her husband are currently stationed at Fort Carson. She doesn't like Colorado Springs. I think she's crazy.
I'm struggling to find things to write tonight. It must be because I'm not wearing those Superman underwear.
Now jamming:
Band-- Living Sacrifice
Album-- Conceived in Fire
Genre-- Thrash metal
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Chili Dogs
I've been torturing myself for the past week. In an effort to understand my youth group better, I've tuned the radio to the local CCM stations. Like I said: torture. My kids think Casting Crowns are the epitome of artistic expression. They tried to tell me the other day that some girl named Jamie Grace had a great song. I've almost given up hope.
In my masochistic sessions, I've noticed four horsemen of the music apocalypse. Not every song on CCM radio has all four of these (it's shocking how many do), but I think you'd be hard pressed to find a song on K-Love that doesn't include at least one of these elements. That doesn't guarantee every song is bad, but so far I have only heard one song that prompted me to think "this doesn't suck." That song possessed only one of the following signs of suckitude.
1. Acoustic guitar. The instrument itself is not flawed. It's the "musicians" playing them. They do nothing interesting and exist purely to keep the songs from being a cappella. The three chord progression worship song is a stereotype, but it's so true.
2. Bland percussion. Like the acoustic guitar, the drummer isn't a real musician. He's just there to supply a steady beat. I have never ever heard a CCM song with a drummer who sounds like he is enjoying himself.
3. Random strings. This is the one that I had never noticed before, but I was astounded by how many songs had random little bits of strings added in. I think the producers hear the songs and think: "This sucks. How can I disguise the fact that this sucks? I know. I'll throw a violin and a cello into the mix, and people will be fooled into believing there are actual musicians in this song."
4. The spiritual equivalent of watered down milk. You can't have anything spiritually challenging on Christian radio. I know who the target audience of Christian radio is. I'm not dumb. I'm not sure Christian radio knows its target audience. Christians are not edified by songs that say nothing but "Jesus is God. Yay." And non-Christians would never ever hear those words and think "Hey, you're right. Jesus is God. I want to be a Christian."
I realized this week that the worst offender of all is Third Day. And I hold Third Day responsible for the deplorable state of Christian music. CCM was never good, but it jumped the shark (or nuked the fridge) when Third Day came out with a "worship album." Do I even need to explain what has happened since? Make a joyful noise unto the wallet of the Christian music industry. Third Day is so bad that I think they are controlled by Satan. Their success can be explained no other way. Satan wants Christians to stagnate. He wants non-Christians to stay non-Christians. Is there any more musically effective way of assuring this than Third Day?
Third Day is the CCM equivalent of Nickelback.
Tim Tebow.
It turns out that I'm wearing the same underwear I was the last time I blogged. I haven't worn them between. Maybe if I wore them more often I would blog more often.
Why do I get so itchy while blogging?
I'm not entirely sure what's happening for Thanksgiving. It's kind of snuck up on me. I'm guessing I'm doing the cooking. I might try to deep fry a turkey this year. I might also try to burn down the county.
The thing about having a newer car is that you always make sure to flick your boogers out the window.
I made some chili this week with venison. Anna's mom won't eat it. It hurts my feelings. Ok, it doesn't really. I think it's kind of funny.
I can see the moon from where I sit. It's not quite half-full. There's a sheen of clouds over it and the tips of tree tops in the way. It's rather eerie.
Sleep number beds must be awful for sex. There's got to be a ridge down the center of those that would just kill.
Has Drew Barrymore been in anything besides Covergirl commercials lately?
Yes, the TV is on while I write this.
Thinking about the immensity of space makes me queasy.
Anna and I use Redbox a lot, and we've used it to see a ton of movies recently. Yesterday, we watched The Green Lantern and today we saw The Tree of Life. The Green Lantern was meh. The Tree of Life was beautiful but overdone.
We've been working on our Christmas play at church. If we can get the kids to slow down and enunciate their lines, I think the church will find it hilarious.
Now playing:
Band-- Switchfoot
Album-- Vice Verses
Genre-- Pop Rock
In my masochistic sessions, I've noticed four horsemen of the music apocalypse. Not every song on CCM radio has all four of these (it's shocking how many do), but I think you'd be hard pressed to find a song on K-Love that doesn't include at least one of these elements. That doesn't guarantee every song is bad, but so far I have only heard one song that prompted me to think "this doesn't suck." That song possessed only one of the following signs of suckitude.
1. Acoustic guitar. The instrument itself is not flawed. It's the "musicians" playing them. They do nothing interesting and exist purely to keep the songs from being a cappella. The three chord progression worship song is a stereotype, but it's so true.
2. Bland percussion. Like the acoustic guitar, the drummer isn't a real musician. He's just there to supply a steady beat. I have never ever heard a CCM song with a drummer who sounds like he is enjoying himself.
3. Random strings. This is the one that I had never noticed before, but I was astounded by how many songs had random little bits of strings added in. I think the producers hear the songs and think: "This sucks. How can I disguise the fact that this sucks? I know. I'll throw a violin and a cello into the mix, and people will be fooled into believing there are actual musicians in this song."
4. The spiritual equivalent of watered down milk. You can't have anything spiritually challenging on Christian radio. I know who the target audience of Christian radio is. I'm not dumb. I'm not sure Christian radio knows its target audience. Christians are not edified by songs that say nothing but "Jesus is God. Yay." And non-Christians would never ever hear those words and think "Hey, you're right. Jesus is God. I want to be a Christian."
I realized this week that the worst offender of all is Third Day. And I hold Third Day responsible for the deplorable state of Christian music. CCM was never good, but it jumped the shark (or nuked the fridge) when Third Day came out with a "worship album." Do I even need to explain what has happened since? Make a joyful noise unto the wallet of the Christian music industry. Third Day is so bad that I think they are controlled by Satan. Their success can be explained no other way. Satan wants Christians to stagnate. He wants non-Christians to stay non-Christians. Is there any more musically effective way of assuring this than Third Day?
Third Day is the CCM equivalent of Nickelback.
Tim Tebow.
It turns out that I'm wearing the same underwear I was the last time I blogged. I haven't worn them between. Maybe if I wore them more often I would blog more often.
Why do I get so itchy while blogging?
I'm not entirely sure what's happening for Thanksgiving. It's kind of snuck up on me. I'm guessing I'm doing the cooking. I might try to deep fry a turkey this year. I might also try to burn down the county.
The thing about having a newer car is that you always make sure to flick your boogers out the window.
I made some chili this week with venison. Anna's mom won't eat it. It hurts my feelings. Ok, it doesn't really. I think it's kind of funny.
I can see the moon from where I sit. It's not quite half-full. There's a sheen of clouds over it and the tips of tree tops in the way. It's rather eerie.
Sleep number beds must be awful for sex. There's got to be a ridge down the center of those that would just kill.
Has Drew Barrymore been in anything besides Covergirl commercials lately?
Yes, the TV is on while I write this.
Thinking about the immensity of space makes me queasy.
Anna and I use Redbox a lot, and we've used it to see a ton of movies recently. Yesterday, we watched The Green Lantern and today we saw The Tree of Life. The Green Lantern was meh. The Tree of Life was beautiful but overdone.
We've been working on our Christmas play at church. If we can get the kids to slow down and enunciate their lines, I think the church will find it hilarious.
Now playing:
Band-- Switchfoot
Album-- Vice Verses
Genre-- Pop Rock
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Reform This, Punk
Happy belated Reformation Day. Transubstantiate this, Catholics.
We took Howie to the vet because he's basically covered in scabs, and petting him is a rather disturbing experience. The vet gave him a shot, and now we are supposed to force medicine down his throat on a daily basis. This cat is going to be scarred for life.
There's a man at work whose beard wraps around beneath his ears and joins with his hair on the other side. I've never seen a beard quite like it.
This whole Tebow experiment seems to be going rather poorly. And I keep coming back to this one thought: he can't have looked this bad as a passer in college. I know he didn't last year when he made his starts. Honestly, he looks like he's getting worse. Why? Why on earth would someone who obviously works so hard at his job just keep getting worse? And why does he consistently show improvement only in the fourth quarter? My uneducated guess: he spends the first three quarters of the games thinking way too much about his footwork and technique and all these things that coaches and the media are telling him he needs to change in order to be a successful NFL quarterback. I think while he's trying to do all these things people are asking of him he's forgetting to just play football.
Man of Steel waistband, blue trimmed red with the Superman logo.
Anna and I went to see The Civil Wars last night at the Egyptian Room in the Old National Center in Indianapolis. It was a pretty cool venue. I guess I'd call it a very large ballroom. Through Facebook Anna discovered that a high school friend had an extra ticket available, which allowed us to get Anna sister to come along. Sadly, this also meant that we had to put up with Anna's old classmate for much of the night. Having done some pre-concert drinking, she still managed to make full use of the bar at the show. She was so loud, especially during the really sad slow songs, that I thought the crowd was going to murder her on the spot. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing. And she happened to be a lesbian and thought it was appropriate to announce to the room how she'd gladly get with Anna and Sarah. The Civil Wars were good though.
I'm still hungry.
Our new car must sneak up on birds. In my life I had only hit two birds while driving, and I've killed at least three in the last three months, all while driving Beatrice.
There's nothing as refreshing as peeing in the rain.
Ice cream sounds good right now. I'm not usually a huge ice cream person. My dad is a huge ice cream person. I didn't realize this until I was in college. I guess it's one of those things that just occur to you one day. But whenever we got ice cream when I was a kid, it was my dad's idea. I didn't mind of course. But I can tell you now, with certainty, that my dad loves Baskin Robbins. It might also explain why he had such a difficult time turning down a job offer from Blue Bunny ice cream.
My mom won't eat wild game. This is another thing I didn't know until college. I just never processed that the reason we always grilled hot dogs or chicken with our burgers and steaks was that my mom wouldn't eat venison. Anna's mom won't eat it either. Moms are weird.
As of the beginning of the year, I'll have health and dental insurance. I guess now I'll have to go to the doctor lest I feel like I'm wasting money.
There have not been any good metal shows in the area. It's depressing. On the plus side, Project 86 and P.O.D. are both supposed to be releasing albums next spring.
Time changes tonight. It would no longer be linear.
Now headbanging to:
Band-- The Famine
Album-- Architects of Guilt
Genre-- Death Metal
We took Howie to the vet because he's basically covered in scabs, and petting him is a rather disturbing experience. The vet gave him a shot, and now we are supposed to force medicine down his throat on a daily basis. This cat is going to be scarred for life.
There's a man at work whose beard wraps around beneath his ears and joins with his hair on the other side. I've never seen a beard quite like it.
This whole Tebow experiment seems to be going rather poorly. And I keep coming back to this one thought: he can't have looked this bad as a passer in college. I know he didn't last year when he made his starts. Honestly, he looks like he's getting worse. Why? Why on earth would someone who obviously works so hard at his job just keep getting worse? And why does he consistently show improvement only in the fourth quarter? My uneducated guess: he spends the first three quarters of the games thinking way too much about his footwork and technique and all these things that coaches and the media are telling him he needs to change in order to be a successful NFL quarterback. I think while he's trying to do all these things people are asking of him he's forgetting to just play football.
Man of Steel waistband, blue trimmed red with the Superman logo.
Anna and I went to see The Civil Wars last night at the Egyptian Room in the Old National Center in Indianapolis. It was a pretty cool venue. I guess I'd call it a very large ballroom. Through Facebook Anna discovered that a high school friend had an extra ticket available, which allowed us to get Anna sister to come along. Sadly, this also meant that we had to put up with Anna's old classmate for much of the night. Having done some pre-concert drinking, she still managed to make full use of the bar at the show. She was so loud, especially during the really sad slow songs, that I thought the crowd was going to murder her on the spot. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing. And she happened to be a lesbian and thought it was appropriate to announce to the room how she'd gladly get with Anna and Sarah. The Civil Wars were good though.
I'm still hungry.
Our new car must sneak up on birds. In my life I had only hit two birds while driving, and I've killed at least three in the last three months, all while driving Beatrice.
There's nothing as refreshing as peeing in the rain.
Ice cream sounds good right now. I'm not usually a huge ice cream person. My dad is a huge ice cream person. I didn't realize this until I was in college. I guess it's one of those things that just occur to you one day. But whenever we got ice cream when I was a kid, it was my dad's idea. I didn't mind of course. But I can tell you now, with certainty, that my dad loves Baskin Robbins. It might also explain why he had such a difficult time turning down a job offer from Blue Bunny ice cream.
My mom won't eat wild game. This is another thing I didn't know until college. I just never processed that the reason we always grilled hot dogs or chicken with our burgers and steaks was that my mom wouldn't eat venison. Anna's mom won't eat it either. Moms are weird.
As of the beginning of the year, I'll have health and dental insurance. I guess now I'll have to go to the doctor lest I feel like I'm wasting money.
There have not been any good metal shows in the area. It's depressing. On the plus side, Project 86 and P.O.D. are both supposed to be releasing albums next spring.
Time changes tonight. It would no longer be linear.
Now headbanging to:
Band-- The Famine
Album-- Architects of Guilt
Genre-- Death Metal
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