The Love Machine's Down

I need to shower. Seriously.
I spent almost all weekend in bed because it's the only place I can comfortably rest my back.
Fernando keeps spazzing out in the fish tank. We're not sure what his deal is.
Edith squeals anytime Anna talks to any of the animals. I guess she detects the raised pitch in Anna's voice and thinks it means she's talking to her.
All our pets are spoiled.
Anna's had a bad headache for the past week. I suggested we just amputate, but she didn't go for that idea.
I'm not exactly looking forward to trying to sit in the office tomorrow.
Anna and I have been trying to figure out what churches around here are worth trying. I spent awhile last night doing some research and came to the conclusion that there are none worth trying. I've decided all of southern Indiana is going to Hell. I'm kidding, but seriously, there's nothing. Why? I'll tell you.
We had seen signs for some "Reformed Presbyterian" church. Now, I figured any reformation based church was a good start, and I knew that the Presbyterian church is relatively similar to the Christian Reformed Church. Fortunately, I did some research on this here church thingy. Little did I know, "Reformed Presbyterian" is actually it's own denomination. I found their website and was going through their beliefs and positions and such and thinking to myself, "Self, this sounds pretty sound," when suddenly I came across the deal breaker: the music. Now, I'm not talking about praise music versus hymns. I'm talking about a church that only sings from the Psalms and doesn't use instruments. I told Anna that there is no way I can trust a church that can commit the intellectual suicide necessary to make this claim. Never mind that the composer of most of the Psalms was famously a harpist, but the New Testament specifically calls for the singing of Psalms (yes, Psalms), hymns, and spiritual songs. That sound suspiciously like more than just Psalms. Yeah, I couldn't do that.
So after I eliminated the Reformed Presbyterians, I started looking into the various Presbyterian churches. It turns out that only the liberal kind inhabit southern Indiana. I can't handle that either.
I checked out the Lutheran churches. They are all way too liberal.
Apparently the only churches around here that aren't too liberal are Arminian. I don't want to do that either.
Anna's father was asked to consider taking over a small church he actually used to pastor when Anna was little. I guess he's seriously thinking about it. Personally, I kind of hope he does take it because that makes the church decision easy for us. Is that bad? I disagree with him theologically, but he's Anna's dad. Problem solved, right?
I think the litter box is jammed again. I guess I should fix it before Howie drops a load of rebellion on our futon.
Goodnight, dear readers. Goodnight.