Wounded Manhood

The Rockies depress me.
I'm getting hungry.
Daisy smells so bad. 
Zoey is the only dog that I have ever heard fart.  I've smelled farts from other dogs, but they're always the silent but deadly kind.  Anna has more experience with dogs, and she agrees with me.
I want pancakes.
The Explorer started making some weird noises a couple weeks ago.  I went to work one night with the plan to take it in to the shop the next day.  You know where this is going.  I had to get a ride home from Anna's mother and had to have it towed to the shop.  Fortunately, it wasn't too expensive to repair.  An idler had failed on the serpentine belt.  This caused the belt to come off and meant everything powered by the belt (alternator, power steering, cooling system) to stop working.  The most expensive part of it all was the cost of the tow.
Zoey has to pee all the time.  Anna and I figure that if she had her way she would go out and pee every 90 minutes.  I'm considering surgically removing her bladder.
My sister called off her wedding a month before the date.  Her fiancee told her it was now or never so now they aren't together anymore either.  I'm glad she had the guts to do it before she went through with it and regretted it later.  I'm also glad she didn't marry him because he's so short and seemed so fake to me.  I know the short part is mean of me, but I just couldn't take him seriously.
Chief fell off the banister over the stairs the other day.  It must have been a fifteen foot drop.  He's fine.  He just needed to regain his dignity.
Anna ordered a bunch of word magnets for our refrigerator.  We've been leaving each other profound messages.  I believe it currently says something about chocolate diamonds and brilliant butts.
I've had to let Zoey out twice since I started this post.
We didn't name her Zoey.  The people who had her before did that. 
There have been coyotes in our backyard.  Anna had to chase them away one night when they were lustily eyeing Daisy. We now have to watch the dogs closely when we let them out at night.  If we were in the country I would keep a gun on me when I let them out, but alas, we are in city limits.  I think I'm going to invest in a pellet gun. 

Currently watching:

The Rockies blow a 4-1 lead against the Giants.

Weeeoooweeeeoooweeeeoooooo...

My sister wants to use an ipod to supply the music for her wedding ceremony.  To make matters worse, I don't think she has any idea what the lyrics mean to some of the songs she has picked. 
I got a warning for speeding today.  I was going 69 in a 55.  It's the third time I've ever been pulled over.
I'm tired.
Daisy has developed a bladder of steel.  She wouldn't go out last night, and she wouldn't go out this morning before Anna and I had to go to work.  She probably went 20 hours without peeing.  She was spinning in circles when I got home. 
I'm thirsty.
The stairway in our house doubles back on itself.  This means there's a railing at the top of the stars to prevent morons from falling down to the first floor.  The cats (especially Chief) have taken to sleeping on this railing.  This terrifies Anna.  I just think it will be funny to see Chief fall.
The best part of having our own house is having high speed internet again.  The second best part is having a TV package that includes the Big Ten Network and thus Big Ten wrestling.
The door stoppers that came in this house are spring loaded.  The cats have discovered this.  I still haven't gotten used to the sudden SPROINGNGNGNGNG sounds ringing through the house.

Peppery

I nearly crapped myself in Wal-Mart just now.  I headed to the bathroom in the back of the store, with my butt cheeks firmly clinched, only to discover the janitor saying I couldn't use it because it was a disaster in there.  So I tried the "family" restroom (the unisex one designed for changing babies [you take your baby in and trade it for a different baby]), but it was occupied.  I had to do the diarrhea shuffle all the way to the front of the store to the other bathroom.  Fortunately, I believe my underwear to be salvageable.
I'm writing this from my bed which is in my bedroom which is in my house.  Which is my house.  I have a key and everything.  It's awesome.
There's still a bunch of furniture that needs to be hauled upstairs.  Our stairway doubles back on itself, which make it very awkward to move big items.  We have a dressers, a chest, two couches, and a futon that still need to come up those stairs.  I might die.
I'm wearing a shirt that Anna got me for Christmas.  I know.  It's miraculous that I'm wearing clothes.
I think the cats like our new house.  Howie is staring at Chief.  Chief is getting fur all over our clothes.
Now Howie is posing seductively in the doorway.
Daisy is staring at me.
We had an ice storm last night.  Walking on the grass feels like walking on shattered glass (minus the bleeding feet).  Everything is covered in a quarter inch of ice.  It took a considerable feat of strength for me to open my car doors after work this morning.
Anna and her parents already painted a large portion of the house.  I like Anna's color choices.  The bedroom is "bloody murder."  The living room is "curdled milk" on two walls and "scab" on the other two.  We are thinking of doing the kitchen and bathrooms in "moldy cheese."
Church is cancelled in the morning due to the ice storm.  I'm kind of sad.  I enjoy teaching Sunday School.  Getting some sleep will be nice though.
Now Howie is sitting on the bed next to me.
Now Chief is assaulting me.
Anna just called.  She's headed home from work.
We're getting internet connected tomorrow.  I'm excited to have high speed again.
We got a nice sectional for our living room.  It's so comfortable.  I got a couple movies for Anna and me to watch tonight just so we could sit on it.
My right testicle itches.
I have nothing else to say.

Jamming:

Band-- Project 86
Album-- Rival Factions
Genre-- Post-Hardcore/Hard Rock/Metal

TMJ

I haven't been able to properly close my jaw since Wednesday.  My teeth will not come all the way together.  For the first couple days, it was really sore.  Now it's only a little sore, but it still hurts to chew, and I feel like I'm just gnawing on my food.
I just got off of work.  I have to teach Sunday School in an hour.  I'm writing this entry mostly to just stay awake until that time.
We're letting the kids have a black light party today as a celebration of their hard work on the Christmas program.  They're all going to wear white shirts and color on each other with highlighters and fluorescent paints.
Anna and I both got sick right around the winter solstice, and we are both just getting over it.
My lips are chapped.  My lips never get chapped.
Buying a house is stressful.  I could never have imagined having to come up with so many random "letters of explanation" for various and sundry topics such as where I got $100 three months ago and if I scratch my butt with my left or right hand.
Anna's picked out all the paint colors for the house.  I'm painting "my" room purple.  I wanted to do one wall black, one purple, one blue, and one orange, but I was overruled.
Well, I should go put clothes on.  Something tells me people would frown upon me coming to church naked.  It would cause quite the sensation.

Jamming
Artist: Celldweller
Album: Celldweller
Genre: Industrial Metal

Santa Claus is real. It's the good children that are the myth.

I'm sitting at Anna's place of employment, drinking a peppermint hot chocolate, and writing this.
I said I wouldn't be bothered if the Broncos lost to the Patriots.  I'm not really.  But I am bothered by the way they lost. 
Yesterday, my company fed us lunch at BW3s.  I went with boneless wings instead of traditional because it was boneless Thursdays, and I didn't want to be too expensive.  I always get the same three sauces: spicy garlic, Asian zing, and Caribbean jerk.  This time, I happened to actually open the menu and saw that they were offering a couple limited time sauce flavors.  So I swapped Thai Curry for Caribbean Jerk.  It was decent, but I guess I just am not a big fan of curry flavored hot wings.  Next time I will stick with the jerk.  I will also stick with the traditional wings.  The company was paying.  Why should I have let boneless Thursday's affect me?
I hope desperately that the Broncos win tomorrow.
Buying a house is stressful.
When I grow up, I want to be a lesbian.
I bought Anna's Christmas gifts yesterday.  I hope she likes them.
I'm sick.
Tuesday night/Wednesday morning was supposed to be my last day at work before Christmas, but then I found out just before I left that I would need to be back in 12 hours for another full night of work.  Ok, that sucked, but I could live with it.  Then a half hour after I left, I found out that the guy working first shift could only stay eight of the twelve hours first shift was supposed to be working.  I was kept awake from another two hours by text messages discussing whether or not I needed to be back to cover the rest of first shift.  It didn't seem likely.  So I went to sleep expecting to get up in five hours to go back to work for twelve more.  But then I got a phone call two hours later from someone trying to sell me a vacation.  And when I hung up on them I realized I felt like crap.  The quantity of snot in my head would not permit me to go back to sleep right away so I read for a little bit.  Just as I was feeling ready to nod off again, I got another phone call.  This one confirmed that I would have to go back in early because there was no one else to cover.  I finally gave up on sleeping.  Then when I showed up at work, all the first shift people were leaving.  They only worked eight hours.  And no one thought to tell me.  And I still had to be there in four hours anyway.  So I screwed around for four hours and then worked.  All of this on two hours of sleep.
I'm thirsty.  Hot chocolate makes me thirsty.
If there is ever a reason to not want to have kids, it's Christmas.  I have a hard enough time finding presents for Anna.  How could I stand finding presents for little brats?
Why do I hate Christmas? I think there are two main reasons: 1) I never know what I want for Christmas and never get it 2) People are always jerks.
I've been mildly surprised at how uncrowded the stores have been so far this year.  Maybe I'm just going at the right times, but I guess I just expect to be shanked everywhere I got, and it clearly hasn't happened yet.

Currently rocking:

Band: Tourniquet
Album: Crawl to China
Genre: Thrash/progressive metal

It's the most horrible time of the year

The kids will be performing their church Christmas program in four hours.  I hope nobody dies.
Yes, we're buying a house.  We were going too wait until we actually closed on it to announce it to everyone, but Anna got really excited after taking pictures of the house with it marked "under contract."
Anna is ready to murder certain children for their inability to show up to all the practices for the program.  I don't blame her.  It makes it hard.
I need to murder one of Anna's coworkers.  Anyone want to help?
We had two girls especially who didn't show up to many of the program practices.  One of the girls hadn't been coming to church at all in the months before we started this so we hadn't given her any lines.  When she showed up, we split the other girls lines between them.  But they have hardly ever been at the same practice together and they don't know what they are supposed to say, so we are making them Siamese twins.  They can say all their lines together.
My job site closes for Christmas on Thursday and doesn't reopen until after the New Year.  But my company will be putting me to work somewhere else for the rest of this week and the majority of next week.  This is fine.  Any money I can make toward our house is a good thing, but what is not fine is that I will be going from an 11-7 shift from Tuesday night to Wednesday morning and then I'll have to be at work at 7:30 Thursday morning.
I think this Patriots/Broncos game will be closer than most people think, but I won't be too fazed if the Broncos lose.  I'll just feel a lot better if the Raiders and Chargers lose today.
I wish there was less focus on Tebow.  It just makes me feel like something awful is coming.
I never indent the start of my paragraphs anymore.  I'm a bad person.
Did I write that Anna and I went and saw Happy Feet II with one of her coworkers?  Anna liked it.  I liked the krill.  I thought the rest of it was just ok. 
Riding side-saddle must have been hard on women's backs.
I'm just excited for the Christmas program to be over.  I hate this time of year.
I need to come up with something else for Anna for Christmas.  I already got her a Keurig coffee maker, but she knows about it.  I need to find her something that she can unwrap on Christmas morning.
My supervisor gave me a Mexican lollipop.  According to the wrapper, it is strawberry flavored.  I wouldn't know because it's coated in chilli.  I like hot stuff.  That's fine.  But it's the worst tasting chilli I've ever put in my mouth.

Now cranking:

Band: Maylene & the Sons of Disaster
Album: IV
Genre: Southern Metal

Yes.
Maybe.
My ankle makes terrible crunching sounds.
Something roughed up Lucy this week.  If I were to guess, I'd say a coyote got hold of her, and Hank came along before he got to finish his meal.  She didn't get out of bed for three days. 
Poopface is extra smelly today.
Anna has to close tonight.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself today.
I don't really have anything to say.
I might fix myself some food.
Someday, I'll be interesting.
That's it.  I give up.  I have nothing to say.

Rocking:
Nothing

Deep Fried Tryptophan

I'm currently watching "Pumpkin Chunkin'."  I love America.
It's nice to have a few days off in a row. 
Gray.
Brine + Turkey + Deep Fryer = Win
I think I'll be a moonshiner.
Poor Anna has to open the store an hour early tomorrow for all the crazy people who are willing to risk their lives for a decent price on a TV.
Does it make me a nerd that I want a trebuchet?
I'm hungry.  I wonder where I can find some food?  I hope there's still a turkey wing hiding somewhere.
My left ankle makes horrible sounds.
Why am I so hungry?
If the Broncos are to make the playoffs this year, they need to beat the Chargers this Sunday.  Even if they don't make the playoffs, I will consider this season a success if they beat the Chargers this Sunday.  Have I mentioned how much I hate the Chargers?
I called my family to wish them a happy Thanksgiving.  As I expected, my dad was hunting.  I guess my sister just popped in and out and my brother didn't feel like going out so my mother rummaged in the refrigerator.  My family is so festive.  It makes me proud.
Why does everything get so itchy while I blog?  Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.  Or just on my skin.  Or in my mind.
Anna and I went to see 'Puss in Boots' with one of Anna's coworkers.  I was so tired I couldn't tell you if it was any good or not, but Anna liked it.
I have no pity for people griping about the lines on Black Friday.
Our friend Jennifer is here for Thanksgiving.  She and her husband are currently stationed at Fort Carson.  She doesn't like Colorado Springs.  I think she's crazy.
I'm struggling to find things to write tonight.  It must be because I'm not wearing those Superman underwear.

Now jamming:

Band-- Living Sacrifice
Album-- Conceived in Fire
Genre-- Thrash metal

Chili Dogs

I've been torturing myself for the past week.  In an effort to understand my youth group better, I've tuned the radio to the local CCM stations.  Like I said: torture.  My kids think Casting Crowns are the epitome of artistic expression.  They tried to tell me the other day that some girl named Jamie Grace had a great song.  I've almost given up hope. 
In my masochistic sessions, I've noticed four horsemen of the music apocalypse. Not every song on CCM radio has all four of these (it's shocking how many do), but I think you'd be hard pressed to find a song on K-Love that doesn't include at least one of these elements.  That doesn't guarantee every song is bad, but so far I have only heard one song that prompted me to think "this doesn't suck." That song possessed only one of the following signs of suckitude.
1. Acoustic guitar.  The instrument itself is not flawed.  It's the "musicians" playing them.  They do nothing interesting and exist purely to keep the songs from being a cappella.  The three chord progression worship song is a stereotype, but it's so true.
2. Bland percussion.  Like the acoustic guitar, the drummer isn't a real musician.  He's just there to supply a steady beat.  I have never ever heard a CCM song with a drummer who sounds like he is enjoying himself.
3. Random strings.  This is the one that I had never noticed before, but I was astounded by how many songs had random little bits of strings added in.  I think the producers hear the songs and think: "This sucks.  How can I disguise the fact that this sucks?  I know.  I'll throw a violin and a cello into the mix, and people will be fooled into believing there are actual musicians in this song."
4. The spiritual equivalent of watered down milk.  You can't have anything spiritually challenging on Christian radio.  I know who the target audience of Christian radio is.  I'm not dumb.  I'm not sure Christian radio knows its target audience.  Christians are not edified by songs that say nothing but "Jesus is God. Yay."  And non-Christians would never ever hear those words and think "Hey, you're right.  Jesus is God.  I want to be a Christian."
I realized this week that the worst offender of all is Third Day.  And I hold Third Day responsible for the deplorable state of Christian music.  CCM was never good, but it jumped the shark (or nuked the fridge) when Third Day came out with a "worship album."  Do I even need to explain what has happened since?  Make a joyful noise unto the wallet of the Christian music industry.  Third Day is so bad that I think they are controlled by Satan.  Their success can be explained no other way.  Satan wants Christians to stagnate.  He wants non-Christians to stay non-Christians.  Is there any more musically effective way of assuring this than Third Day?
Third Day is the CCM equivalent of Nickelback.
Tim Tebow.
It turns out that I'm wearing the same underwear I was the last time I blogged.  I haven't worn them between.  Maybe if I wore them more often I would blog more often.
 Why do I get so itchy while blogging?
I'm not entirely sure what's happening for Thanksgiving.  It's kind of snuck up on me.  I'm guessing I'm doing the cooking.  I might try to deep fry a turkey this year.  I might also try to burn down the county.
The thing about having a newer car is that you always make sure to flick your boogers out the window.
I made some chili this week with venison.  Anna's mom won't eat it.  It hurts my feelings.  Ok, it doesn't really.  I think it's kind of funny.
I can see the moon from where I sit.  It's not quite half-full.  There's a sheen of clouds over it and the tips of tree tops in the way.  It's rather eerie.
Sleep number beds must be awful for sex.  There's got to be a ridge down the center of those that would just kill.
Has Drew Barrymore been in anything besides Covergirl commercials lately?
Yes, the TV is on while I write this.
Thinking about the immensity of space makes me queasy.
Anna and I use Redbox a lot, and we've used it to see a ton of movies recently.  Yesterday, we watched The Green Lantern and today we saw The Tree of Life.  The Green Lantern was meh.  The Tree of Life was beautiful but overdone. 
We've been working on our Christmas play at church.  If we can get the kids to slow down and enunciate their lines, I think the church will find it hilarious.

Now playing:
Band-- Switchfoot
Album-- Vice Verses
Genre-- Pop Rock

Reform This, Punk

Happy belated Reformation Day.  Transubstantiate this, Catholics.
We took Howie to the vet because he's basically covered in scabs, and petting him is a rather disturbing experience.  The vet gave him a shot, and now we are supposed to force medicine down his throat on a daily basis.  This cat is going to be scarred for life.
There's a man at work whose beard wraps around beneath his ears and joins with his hair on the other side.  I've never seen a beard quite like it.
This whole Tebow experiment seems to be going rather poorly.  And I keep coming back to this one thought: he can't have looked this bad as a passer in college.  I know he didn't last year when he made his starts.  Honestly, he looks like he's getting worse.  Why?  Why on earth would someone who obviously works so hard at his job just keep getting worse?  And why does he consistently show improvement only in the fourth quarter?  My uneducated guess: he spends the first three quarters of the games thinking way too much about his footwork and technique and all these things that coaches and the media are telling him he needs to change in order to be a successful NFL quarterback.  I think while he's trying to do all these things people are asking of him he's forgetting to just play football. 
Man of Steel waistband, blue trimmed red with the Superman logo.
Anna and I went to see The Civil Wars last night at the Egyptian Room in the Old National Center in Indianapolis.  It was a pretty cool venue.  I guess I'd call it a very large ballroom.  Through Facebook Anna discovered that a high school friend had an extra ticket available, which allowed us to get Anna sister to come along.  Sadly, this also meant that we had to put up with Anna's old classmate for much of the night.  Having done some pre-concert drinking, she still managed to make full use of the bar at the show.  She was so loud, especially during the really sad slow songs, that I thought the crowd was going to murder her on the spot.  It was uncomfortable and embarrassing.  And she happened to be a lesbian and thought it was appropriate to announce to the room how she'd gladly get with Anna and Sarah. The Civil Wars were good though.
I'm still hungry.
Our new car must sneak up on birds.  In my life I had only hit two birds while driving, and I've killed at least three in the last three months, all while driving Beatrice.
There's nothing as refreshing as peeing in the rain.
Ice cream sounds good right now.  I'm not usually a huge ice cream person.  My dad is a huge ice cream person.  I didn't realize this until I was in college.  I guess it's one of those things that just occur to you one day.  But whenever we got ice cream when I was a kid, it was my dad's idea.  I didn't mind of course.  But I can tell you now, with certainty, that my dad loves Baskin Robbins.  It might also explain why he had such a difficult time turning down a job offer from Blue Bunny ice cream.
My mom won't eat wild game.  This is another thing I didn't know until college.  I just never processed that the reason we always grilled hot dogs or chicken with our burgers and steaks was that my mom wouldn't eat venison.  Anna's mom won't eat it either.  Moms are weird.
As of the beginning of the year, I'll have health and dental insurance.  I guess now I'll have to go to the doctor lest I feel like I'm wasting money. 
There have not been any good metal shows in the area.  It's depressing.  On the plus side, Project 86 and P.O.D. are both supposed to be releasing albums next spring.
Time changes tonight.  It would no longer be linear.

Now headbanging to:

Band-- The Famine
Album-- Architects of Guilt
Genre-- Death Metal

Greasy Fingerprints

A little kid (like two or three) just walked up to my table to get a look at my computer.  His mother says he loves computers.  It was kind of weird.
I cut my finger at work yesterday.  This is impressive considering I was wearing leather padded Kevlar (cut-resistant) gloves. 
I hate wearing belts.
Anna wasn't supposed to work tonight, but some jerk called off. 
I did end up getting the Droid Bionic.  I like it.  It actually starts ringing right when someone calls instead of only ringing just in time to let me know it is about to go to voicemail.  And in other voicemail related news, this phone also lets me know when I get a voicemail.  It even lets me know that I had four voicemails from the past month that my other phone didn't tell me about.
I think you all know what's on my mind after yesterday in the NFL.  But for those of you who are clueless about everything ever in the world ever, I just can't get over the fact that New Orleans beat Indianapolis by 55 points, and I had Drew Brees on my fantasy team.
In other fantasy news, somehow I didn't set my roster on another of my fantasy teams and have, so far, scored just 25 points because half my players have bye weeks.  I could have sworn I set my roster, but I guess it doesn't matter.  This was my worst team anyway.
Also, thanks to the addition of a certain Denver Broncos QB, I have secured a win this week in my ESPN fantasy league.
I have decided that I like HTC's proprietary widgets more than Motorola's.  I like my Bionic, but I miss simple things like HTC's clock/weather widget.
I'm feeling the need to use the restroom, but I'm not at home.  At home I could just stand up and walk to the bathroom.  Since I'm in public, I would have to pack up my computer and bring it with me.  I don't want to go through all that effort.  I guess I'll see how long I can hold it.
From my current position, I can see a sign for Captain D's straight ahead of me.  I don't think I've ever been to a Captain D's.  I also don't know how places like Captain D's and Long John Silver's can stay in business.  It seems like so many people hate fish and those who don't hate it don't like it enough to patronize a fast-food establishment dedicated to fish.  Now if they served whale, I might just check it out.
It makes me angry when "artists" I despise have catchy songs.  Kesha (her dollar sign can bite me) is the current low point of pop culture, and her songs are ridiculously catchy.  I want to punch each member of Maroon 5, but "Moves Like Jagger" is obscenely catchy.
I'm getting sleepier.

Now jamming:

Band-- Rackets & Drapes
Album-- Candyland
Genre-- Gothic metal tinged shock rock

"So now you cut, cut until the head comes off"

So my current work schedule has me awake with nothing to do during the time when VH1 and MTV actually show music videos (i.e. when no one else on the planet is actually watching TV). This has afforded me the opportunity to catch up on what's happening in popular music. I can tell you one thing that it didn't take me long at all to learn. I can't stand most of what is on MTV. Yes, a whole lot of what VH1 plays sucks, but MTV makes me murderous. Basically, I think I hate black music. Call me a racist if you must, but I find it unlistenable.
The thing about VH1 is the vast disparity between the videos they show. I'm the type who always just assumed that if it was popular it was crap, and for the most part, I still think that holds true. However there are, miraculously, a few bands that don't suck getting air time. Have there always been artists like The Civil Wars, Adele, Mutemath, and Mumford & Sons on VH1 or is this a new developement? And yet somehow VH1 still manages to show videos by Justin Bieber and Beyonce.
The other day I saw the video for Seal's "Kiss from a Rose" for the first time, even though it's something like ten years old, and I can honestly say it's the worst music video I have ever seen. The song was already ridiculous, but the video is the most obscene piece of crap ever pooped out of the music industries bloated rear-end.
As far as more recent music goes, Hot Chelle Rae's song "Tonight, Tonight" is stupid. Just stupid. It sounds catchy at first, but half a listen is enough to make me wonder how the instrumentalists don't kill themselves out of sheer boredom.
I want to say nice things about Demi Lovato because she is an outspoken fan of good music (e.g. Maylene & the Sons of Disaster), but "Skyscraper" is not good. It's laughable.
VH1 is showing a video oby Dawes as I write this. There's nothing wrong with Dawes except that there is nothing right with them. "Time Spent in Las Angeles" has a chorus that sounds like it was ripped straight from The Eagles, and it bores me to death.
Lest you think I have only negative things to say, Mutemath's "Blood Pressure" is a fun video and one of the reasons I have hope for the future of the music industry.
As a side note before I stop wasting your time (why should I worry if your life is sad enough to actually be reading this anyway), why does VH1 find it necessary to edit out "gun" and "bullets" from Foster the People's "Pumped Up Kicks"? This is why this country is going to hell.

Ben Dover

I'm writing in an awkward position, and it's making my back sore. I'm not smart enough to come up with a new posture, so this might be a short post.
I'm hungry. My phone is eligible for an upgrade today. I think I'll go with the Bionic, but I'm not set on it. I'll probably screw around with several in the store.
I'm really just writing this to burn time while I wait for Anna to get off work.
I just read that DeLorean is back and attempting to make an all electric car. This is exactly what electric car technology needs to get off the ground, gull-wing doors.
People who say "pun not intended" are lying. If you really don't intend the pun then change your wording.
As I'm writing this, Anna's mother is watching a show called "Bad Dog." The premise is simple. People send in home videos of their misbehaving pets. My reaction to this show is the same as my reaction to the nanny-to-the-rescue shows. There is one common denominator in all these families with problem children and problem pets. They don't beat them. Seriously. Come out swinging, and your problem is solved.
Someone feed me.
I knew what I was going to write next, but I lost it, and it's driving me bonkers.
We found out a couple months ago that a friend of ours is pregnant (no, you don't know her). This is a bad thing and not for the reason you think. She is indeed married. But she is the least motherly person I have ever met. And she's a democrat. This baby is doomed from the start.
Pugs make me want to vomit.
I have a new laptop. I like it a lot. There is only one thing that bothers me. I keep accidentally tapping the scroll-pad while I type causing the cursor to jump all over the page to wherever the pointer was at the time. The scroll-pad does have a handy off-switch, but when I'm writing while surfing the internet (like now), I don't like having to turn it on and off all time to view other pages.
Not that long ago, I read about a study on the correlation between IQ and people's web browsers of choice. The researchers found that those who use Internet Explorer tend to have below average intelligence, and those who use Firefox or Chrome have above average intelligence (people who use Safari aren't actually people at all but mindless drones). When I read this, I smirked because at the time I used Chrome. But since I've gotten my new computer, I've been using IE9. I like it. It's almost exactly like using Chrome except it doesn't automatically spell check everything I type. Now for the caveat on that IQ study. People who used the newer versions of IE were actually as intelligent as those who used Firefox and Chrome. People who used older versions of IE (like IE5 or 6) were idiots. I was just astounded that there were enough people still using versions of IE that old to skew the research that much.
Anna just got home. I'm going to go put clothes on so I can go get a phone.

Now rocking:
Band-- Oh, Sleeper
Album-- "Children of Fire"
Genre-- metalcore

The Tim Tebow Era

Howie puked all over the bedroom. I need to remember to clean it up when I get home.
I'm really enjoying the new Oh, Sleeper album "Children of Fire." People keep comparing them to Underoath and Norma Jean, but that's not fair. Those are decent bands, but Oh, Sleeper is much more intricate. And as much as I enjoyed Norma Jean's last album, their songs don't compel me to scream along at the top of my lungs, but with lyrics like "Calling the bold to stand and make the coward bleed" and "I'll marry a blade to his throat," how can you not share them with the world?
In that same vein, I think I'm disappointed in the new Maylene & the Sons of Disaster album "IV." Yes, bands are allowed to modify their sound. They are allowed to evolve. But this album has lost that spark that their first three releases had.
I need to trim my fingernails.
I did trim my beard today. I was starting to look like a hobo.
Project 86 is promising a new album next spring. That's not soon enough. I need it now.
Coach Fox has officially named Tebow the starter against Miami. It's the right move. I don't know if Tebow will be good. I want him to be. It's alright if he's not. But as long as the Broncos' played Orton, they were going to stagnate. It wouldn't have mattered if they won more games with Orton. They were never going to make the playoffs this year, and Orton will not be a Bronco next year (and Brady Quinn probably won't be either). They need to find out now if they need to draft a quarterback next year or not. Yes, for those of you who read The Denver Post or watch ESPN's "Around the Horn," I realize this is essentially Woody Paige's position. Well, he's right for once.
Poopface got a haircut last week. This time she doesn't have a prissy cut around her face. It's all just really short.
We had to take Hank to the vet the other day because he wouldn't open his right eye and it kept watering and emitting green goo. It turns out he had a rather sizable sticker under his inner-eyelid. When the vet showed it to me, I was astounded that Hank hadn't committed suicide out of sheer misery.
Switchfoot's new album "Vice Verses" sounds better with each listen. There are a couple songs that don't appeal to me, but on the whole, it's a good time.
I'm at Anna's place of employment, at the moment, making use of the Wi-Fi. She looks really cute, running around and being helpful.
My left eyebrow itches.
My right pinky toe itches.
My right cheekbone itches.
My stomach itches.
Whenever I think about one spot itching, the rest of me starts to itch. I need to stop talking about this because now I'm going crazy out of itchiness.
I'm used to having random inappropriate things appear when using vague search-engine references, and I can pretty well ignore them. But it's startling when it happens while I'm on my computer in a public place.

Now listening to:
Band-- As Cities Burn
Album-- "Son, I Loved You at Your Darkest"
Genre-- post-hardcore

Was One of 'em a Church of God?

Donna is moving out. Her daughter came in with a notice of intent to vacate at the beginning of the month. I guess the doctors don't want Donna living on her own anymore. She has too much trouble breathing.
There was a note under my door from Sara today. Her A/C wasn't working. The repairman came out and fixed it this afternoon.
I've had a headache for most of the afternoon.
Anna says that everyone in Indianapolis is angry and mean. She wants her training to be over with so she doesn't have to deal with them anymore.
Apparently, there was a knifing right in front of the store in Indianapolis just the week before Anna started training.
I have a "shiatsu" massage pad on my chair. It's great for use on my lower back when it's sore but having it on this chair means I always feel like I'm leaning a little forward in this chair. For some reason, I feel like I'm being forced forward extra far today.
The Rockies are playing well, but I still have some concerns. I still don't trust Huston Street as a closer, I don't believe Ubaldo is as good as everyone else thinks, and Ian Stewart hasn't hit at all this year. I'm also slightly concerned that CarGo has yet to homer.
I'm also very depressed to find out that tonights game has been postponed. Apparently the whole northeast is getting soaked because at least three games have been postponed already.
The leaves on the trees are starting to open. It really is amazing how it seems to happen all at once.
Our rose bush looks beautiful even without actual roses yet.
This desk has a special keyboard tray that slides in and out, but it's deceptive. You might think you have it pulled all the way out, but you don't. And when you finally realize that you can pull it out farther, you also realize how much easier it is to hit the keys at the top of the keyboard when you aren't banging your fingers into the desk.
Is there anything more relaxing than sharpening a knife?
I have to go to an "Owner/Agent Update" this coming Monday and Tuesday. Basically, I get to go up to Indianapolis and be bored out of my mind for two days while people tell me about all the changes in the paperwork the government makes us do for affordable housing.
I've mentioned before how Bobbie has started attending the Bible study on Monday afternoons. Typically she arrives halfway through, and they are forced to spend several minutes explaining to her what the topic is. They are currently going through Revelation, and when she showed up on Monday, they had been discussing the seven churches mentioned at the beginning of Revelation. So the Lieutenant is then forced to reiterate what he has been saying about the seven churches. So what does Bobbie say? "Was one of 'em a Church of God Church? 'Cause that's what I am."
I shaved my beard. I contemplated leaving a mustache, but it creeped me out too much.
Gray.

#105 Mike

Buying and selling
Santa's pockets full of knives
"Chew" and stroke slurred speech

Band: Becoming the Archetype
Album: Celestial Completion
Genre: Progressive/Technical Death Metal